new (sort of!)

Hi!

I just got dx DID a few days ago so I found this place looking for some way to deal with it! But then I found a post here under a screenname that I use sometimes, so I guess one of my alters beat me to it. not sure what to make of that.

I havent got hardly any co-consciousness yet, but I'm working on it sort of. I really love how some people here experience co-consciousness it sounds so much nicer than where I am right now, my system is in such a bad place and theres a lot of conflict. I cant even start with a T because a few inside are so opposed to it that I could barely get inside the door for the assessment! I know I need to stop forcing them to do stuff if I want to get some co-operation but how else can I get co-consciousness? It seems impossible to me right now!

I think from reading people's posts here its helped me to see what its like to have good relationships with alters so I've got a better idea for what im aiming for...does anyone have any tips for how they got through this stage of things?

rai-rai

Hi, Welcome to the forums!
I hope your co-consciousness (what a wonderful word! I must use it more often) will continue to develop in a positive way. I feel really happy right now...it's probably cuz of what you said about our posts giving you some good ideas of what to eb aiming for....it was really nice to hear something like that!

A few years ago, I was in a very bad place too. IN fact I am still just getting over it. Things got very dangerous a few times, and it took a long time to work things out...but we kinda came to a few agreements, like halfway points between our different feelings and opinions. For the moment, we are okay. We have a strucutre, although I don't actually know what it is.
But I hate not knowing anything at all. Spending hours, days, in weird places while the body stays the same. Havings alters in extreme conflict...I'd have to get Harri to tell you teh details on this last aprt, because I'm not the one who experiences those parts...I'm more of a pacifier! ^_^

Anyway, I shall try and think of more beneficial answers if you have any further questions - but most important of all, if you're ever in a really critical state do remember you can confide in us if going to a therapist is too much of an awkward/conflicting/scary thought. Harri waited a year beofre working up the courage!

Best of luck,
Joshua <3

Hi Joshua!

thanks for the welcome! im glad what i said made you happy - hey now i am happy too!

thanks for telling me about your system - its great for me to hear about your experiences. ive had a lot of crazy and scary experiences recently to do with confronting my dissociation so it helps a lot to talk to people who have been there and understand. (like i only just found out one of my favourite movies has a second half that i knew nothing about, despite having watched it several times to what i thought was the end. im finding out about a lot of experiences like this!)

im the host of my system (at least as far as i can understand since i am the one who is around most and dealing with outside things.) i know of three other alters at the moment, though i know i have more inside!

really looking forward to getting to know you and Harri and anyone else who want to talk to me here!

Hi rai-rai,

Welcome here! We've been there as well, and still haven't reached complete co-consciousness with one another, or even with a couple of us. Sometimes it happens, but it's always with periods, and then it weakens and perishes again, only to be build up later.
Co-operation is a process you have to go through first, sometimes co-consciousness sort of comes at the same time, but most of the time it can only be achieved through co-operation. Which is hard to reach, especially among more destructive alters.
Journalling helped us out, including almost every alter that was active at the time writing at a forum. That way, we could always retrace 'our' steps, and then journal about what's occurred. People at the forum talked to our alters, so that way it was easier to make agreements with (destructive) alters, because we didn't always have to deal with things internally; people on the outside dealed with it. That is one of the major pros we had, getting where we are now. Hopefully you'll manage to find a way that benefits you and your system, and hopefully we can help you there.

Nindy

Welcome Rai Rai!
We are not totally co-conscious yet either. and lately it has been REALLY bad because of all the memories we have experienced with a greater influx. But, from where we were to where we are, I would say that cooperation between the selves has really helped us along. The best things that have helped us have been journaling, talking to our T and to our friend Eliza, coloring adn drawing, allowing the alters to have time out to do what they want and need to do, and showing the alters that I care about them, by buying them gifts, and letting them watch something they want to, playing games, or listening to them when we need time off. THese things really helped to gain trust between us all. Its slow going, but these also seemed to speed it up a little. Good luck with this and again welcome.
By the way... What is your other screen name on here?
~Amber and all

Hi rai rai,
I hope you are finding some help in the things that are being written. I know you are confused and think you are going crazy right now, but actually you're going sane!!
Cooperation among the alters is the first thing to work on; actually just beginning communication is the first step. If you are able to go inside and see the alters or talk to them, introduce yourself and let them know you won't hurt them or do anything to harm them. If you aren't able to do that, then try writing to them in a journal. Begin like you were writing a letter to them, and let them respond. I had to do both of these things to begin communicating with various alters. Some communicated by talking on the inside, some by writing in the journal, the littles by drawing pictures because they were not old enough to know how to write. Building a trusting relationship among the alters is the most important thing right now. One of the reasons you have alters is because the adults that you were supposed to be able to trust, betrayed that trust and abused you. So establishing trust is the most important thing to accomplish.
If you are able to find a T, the hardest thing to establish with him/her will be trust. It will take time, and more time, and testing. A good T will not let you down, will establish boundaries (which you need--but didn't have when you were growing up), and teach you how to take care of yourself.
Didn't mean to get preachy or talk so long. Just wanted to let you know from someone who's been where you are and is coming out on the other side into the rainbow light.
caty