My mom finally wants to help! But how?

So recently my mom has decided she wants to get involved in my treatment - which is definitely a good thing! - and wants to help me get the help I need. She recognizes that after almost five years of therapy, six different diagnoses, five hospitalizations, and zero steps forward we definitely need some sort of change. Her idea is contact my regular ole' doctor, the kind you go to for check ups or the flu kinda doctor, and ask them for some sort of full psychiatric evaluation, or to refer us to somewhere that would be able to do that. I've mentioned that I should be screened for dissociative disorders, especially since my last hospitalization officially dx'd me DDNOS and I spoke with my therapist there a lot about DID and she thought being screened for it would be a good option as well, but me and my mom arent really sure how to do about requesting that. Should we beat around the bush and just subtly mention my different issues and hope the doctor catches on that it could be DID or should we just bluntly ask to be screened for DID because it's currently the only option we have? I don't want to sound like im shopping around for a diagnosis...I just know if I got the diagnosis then I could find a real therapist who could really help me and I could finally make some progress. Because I like metaphors, I feel like I'm this car with my wheels stuck in the mud spinning around and around but when I ask a mechanic for help all they do is put oil in my car and say to try again but no one will actually give me the real help I need. Would a screening help move me along or would it just make me seem desperate? I'm not quite sure what the best course of action is but I know I need some change. I've lost my job because of all of this going on right now and I've failed all my college classes. I can't keep standing in one place for much longer or I feel like I'll be stuck forever!
-Nichole

I wonder if Una+ would have some insight here. I think you should ask for eval by someone with experience working with and diagnosing dissociative disorders. If your docs don't take you seriously, find new docs. If you need support and backup, bring your mom to your appointments, but make sure she isn't resistant to a DD diagnosis first. I am glad you have a parent who wants to help.

I am sorry this is a such a hard time for you. It is hard to learn to advocate for yourself when you are struggling so much, but better to learn earlier than later.

A thorough evaluation by a professional who specializes in diagnostics seems totally appropriate at this point. Going to your family doctor is a good start, if you need or want a formal referral. However, your doctor won't know where to refer you without doing hours of research so probably you would be smart to do the research yourself ahead of time and give your research results to your doctor.

I have done this research job many times for members of my own family who had unusual medical issues. Most doctors are grateful for the assistance. If your doctor is not grateful, consider this a serious demerit. No one is an expert in everything. Research takes time and for most doctors this time is not billable.

Where to refer you? There are hospitals that have specialty programs for treating trauma and dissociation, and they may admit you as a short term inpatient or day patient just for evaluation. The day patient arrangement involves you staying somewhere nearby, perhaps in a motel, while going to appointments. There are also specialist diagnosticians in group practices and private practice. Many of these specialists are members of the APA and ISSTD.

A thorough evaluation would not be limited to evaluating you for DID. There are many mental health screening and diagnostic tools, for many conditions besides DID. I don't often mention them because they are outside the scope of this DID Forum, but an expert diagnostician will know all about them and use many of them. Look for someone who uses the SCID-I and SCID-II, as well as the SCID-D / SCID-D-R.

I don't know (don't remember?) where in the world you are. Your question is a FAQ so you might do a web search of this forum for old threads that discuss finding experts. You'll see that for North America the advice often is to go to Texas to one of Colin Ross's hospital programs, or Philadelphia to see Richard Kluft, or Boston, or... There are many choices. You need not be limited to your local area.

Una+ wrote:However, your doctor won't know where to refer you without doing hours of research so probably you would be smart to do the research yourself ahead of time and give your research results to your doctor.

Thanks! I think that answers our main question on whether or not asking directly would be a good idea but the way you phrase it makes it sound like i should definitely just be upfront on my feelings, saving time and extensive research by just telling them what i already know and feel seems like a no-brainer when you put it that way! Its also nice to know what I can expect by going through the evaluation and being prepared for possibly another hospital stay, so long as they can send me somewhere I've never been before cuz the places around here are not all that great in terms of actually diagnosing with the correct thing. *heavy sigh* I feel a lot more confident going into this now, thanks!

Your current signature includes Official Dx: Major Depressive, General Anxiety, Psychotic DNOS, Dissociative DNOS. Those two NOS diagnoses are more than enough indication that a thorough evaluation by a diagnostic specialist would be appropriate. Good diagnostic work saves resources including time and money, so your family's health care insurer should be all for it.