Support/Reading resources for SO

We recently got together with someone and told them about our DID (would hide it if could). after a particularly switchy christmas he seemed to get overwhelmed by the concept of us being multiple. does anyone DID or support know of some reading or anything i can share with him to help the learning curve and make him not feel so overwhelmed?

The Dissociative Identity Source Book is really good. That's the very first book I ever read about DID when I knew literally nothing and it taught be the basics without being overwhelming. I believe it's written for family too.

I don't thing my SO fully accepts we are DID but sees different parts and has his own way of interpreting them. I know some people here have SOs that they share their whole system with and their whole reality with. For us that just isn't possible, at least at the present time. It is a lot for someone else to take in and it might be hard for some people. Particularly those that have not experienced a lot of bad things in their life. I think the dynamics of relationships are important to consider too. We have an attachment disorder so for us there is value in nurturing the attachment while also meeting the needs of the (sometimes chaotic) party on the inside. There is balance, and while you have your needs that you need met, your SO will have needs too. And it might include not always thinking of you as a multiple. From their perspective, they might see all of you as....well you.

My SO read "finding normal" and found that there were many parts of the person in the book that reflected his view of "me". Our reactions, our walls and fortress, our attaching/detaching and internal musing etc. I also read recently Set This House In Order: A Romance of Souls Ruff, Matt . Personally I found this humorous and entertaining (though I hope not inappropriately).

Christmas is a particularly switchy time for us too. It is hard on people around us. I think there is some value in stating that. Even singletons get moody and edgy over the holidays, it is something we all have to get through for our own reasons.

Sam

Familyof3 wrote:We recently got together with someone and told them about our DID (would hide it if could). after a particularly switchy christmas he seemed to get overwhelmed by the concept of us being multiple. does anyone DID or support know of some reading or anything i can share with him to help the learning curve and make him not feel so overwhelmed?

What is overwhelming him?

For me two things helped a lot in order to answer the questions I had: The Guidelines for Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder in Adults by the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation, and this forum.

I don't know if this would necessarily help him feel not so overwhelmed. Both are a lot of information, and it's a lot to take in. Plus, I don't know if you would want him to know about this place.

Maybe reading a book you relate a lot, so that he can see things from your point of view, could also help. And having some time off the research. Just spending time with you, and digesting what comes at the moment it comes, not before.

SamsLand wrote:... It is a lot for someone else to take in and it might be hard for some people. Particularly those that have not experienced a lot of bad things in their life. ... There is balance, and while you have your needs that you need met, your SO will have needs too. And it might include not always thinking of you as a multiple. From their perspective, they might see all of you as....well you.
...

I had never thought about this... Thanks for mentioning it Sam.

I'm glad to read you got together with someone, I hope he finds ways to understand and not feel so overwhelmed.

Sea

Seangel wrote:

Familyof3 wrote:We recently got together with someone and told them about our DID (would hide it if could). after a particularly switchy christmas he seemed to get overwhelmed by the concept of us being multiple. does anyone DID or support know of some reading or anything i can share with him to help the learning curve and make him not feel so overwhelmed?

What is overwhelming him?

how he said to me was ' the fact you have multiple people in you/are multiple is really overwhelming right now.' [paraphrased due to insufficient memory] so we're thinking just the concept of DID existing or something took him back. some time has passed and he seems to have processed it and even met a few others and reacted super well to them

-- Mon Jan 05, 2015 4:21 am --

also I found some wonderful explaining articles on dissociation from a dissociative's perspective, and non dissociatives perspective on dealing with traumatized people and he said he'd be open to reading them.

Cool!