Angry teen alter interfering with family life

treasuresqueen1 wrote:Hi! I'm new to all of this. I'm a black female, 45 years old. I was just diagnosed with DID a few months ago. I was aware of two of my alters (younger white female and 4 year old black female), but a few days ago, another presented himself. I was just sitting on the couch and I felt like a whoosh take over my body and my mind. It kept drawing me into the kitchen toward the knife block. I tried to fight it but I was losing. My other alters were fighting with me also and kept saying, "Get out of the house, go to the hospital."
. . .
My other friend who is bipolar and was a cutter, talked me through everything and we discovered he was a teenage boy, angry, resentful, and wanted to cut me. That's why he was going for the knives. I don't know what to do about him. I've been following this thread so hopefully I can get more insight. I see my therapist next week.

treasuresqueen1, I am sorry I have not been monitoring this board for a time and I missed your post until now. What a terrifying experience to have gone through. But, as you will see if you spend any time reading here or elsewhere, these kinds of struggles for control are common in the experience of DIDers. Although this particular alter is frightening, I imagine the key, as Rivet wrote so beautifully in the reponse right before this one, is befriending this part of you, finding out what he needs, and supporting him. His behavior is a result of extreme emotional pain. I notice this is the only post you have written here. I wonder how you have been in the weeks since you wrote this post. I encourage you to continue to reach out here or elsewhere. You are not alone, and many people here have been through what you are going through.

Nondescript,

Welcome back!

It's good to see you.

MDs

MDs,

thank you! I have missed reading here. I'm not sure I'm back. I had an interaction that I couldn't deal with and decided it was better for me to post in a private forum. But I value this place. I guess we aren't allowed to discuss other forums on this one, but I am so curious about what other forums others have found valuable. Anyway, I feel nervous about posting, but I was pleased to read you and others (though I am sorry you are going through such a hard time). Thanks for saying hi. Maybe in the future I'll be able to really come back.

Nondescript

Nondescript wrote:I have missed reading here. I'm not sure I'm back. I had an interaction that I couldn't deal with and decided it was better for me to post in a private forum. But I value this place. I guess we aren't allowed to discuss other forums on this one, but I am so curious about what other forums others have found valuable.

I was not aware you were having a problematic interaction with anyone here. I am sorry that happened. Was it in PMs? As a rule I do not do PMs. I have several reasons, this being one of them.

I cannot recommend private forums. Out of necessity I have tried them for support concerning other issues in my life and always there were incredibly ugly interactions that were unchecked. The privacy seems to encourage and enable bad behavior, and all too often it turned out there was in fact no real privacy because someone was sharing selected content elsewhere to make others look bad. At least here it is all here, in context, for anyone to see.

From experience, I feel so much safer in a public forum. Content that is not appropriate to post in an open forum like this also is not appropriate to post in a "private" forum; I save that stuff for my personal confidantes including my husband and therapist.

Hi Una+,

Thanks for your concern and your note. Yes, my interaction was in PMs. Someone got upset with me, and my feelings about their upset triggered me so extremely that I spent over a month trying to recover from it. I don't really understand what happened, or whether they overreacted or not. Regardless of whether they did, my inner reaction was so strong as to be almost life-threatening. I think the problem had to do with alters who don't have a lot of social experience in being themselves trying to be themselves, and then other alters being upset with the openness and developing aversions, in addition to maybe the other person not understanding my limitations. Anyway, it was unfortunate, and I felt terrible about the whole thing. I still do. It haunts me.

I did find a private forum that seems very good. I have received excellent support there with none of the problems you mentioned are possible. But I miss here, too, and will try posting from time to time.