Do you believe in love at first sight?

Hi,
*TW relationship issues

At first I thought about posting this to relationship forum but given our unique coping mechanisms I thought this would be better place. Sorry for slight off-topic topic.

So last year my marriage ended which is somewhat in the past now and my problem is that last weekend I met a guy. We met saturday night and ended up having a lot of... fun Then we ended spending sunday together and had even more fun Today I met him again and we had a dinner, a long walk and some more fun.

So the real problem is that in the first morning he started 'love bombing' me. Telling me how wonderful I was while we were having fun How much he already likes me and how magical it was that we happened to be in the same bar at the same time and met. Today we briefly touched the subject of next years summer vacation and where we should spend it. Then we talked about my tight work schedule which led to him blurping out that 'time is not an essence since we can spend the rest of our lives together'.

Needless to say I'm panicking! But when he is not creeping me out with flattery I actually see that he might be someone I might love someday. That is if he is not a narcissistic psychopath because this is exactly how I feel after 3 days. I'm not perfect either so if he is manic-depressive, slightly borderline or just overly emotional I could live with that.

On the other hand ditching a guy for 'liking me too much, too soon and being decent in every way' sounds exactly like trust issues and low self esteem that have destroyed so many previous relationships.

Our protector is naturally convinced of the psychopath theory and finds a lots of small clues like me telling yesterday how I've taken care of my mother and today he tells me how close he is with his mother... But that is not necessary manipulation, it could be the truth we didn't talk about his family yesterday.

So while I don't expect any real answers: What the h**l should I do? Is there a love at first sight (or in this case a crush at first sight) or is it always a sign of something pathological?

I think the only way to realize the truth is to take it slow and see how consistent his behavior is overall. For me, people who came on too strong never proved to be genuine to me personally. Not necessarily a psychopath, just fickle. But, if his actions makes you feel uncomfortable and like its too much too fast just talk to him about it. Make sure things go at the right pace for you.

Hi Pastime,
I completely agree with Im-pure. She's absolutely spot on. But I do have a little something to add. Call it a word of caution if you will. I consider myself middle age but have had my fair share of bar romances.

JMHO anyone you meet in a bar will not last. MPO is that you can not and will not find a true and abiding love with someone you meet in a bar. I did have one that lasted 2 years once but I was over it by 3 months but didn't have the courage to end it then. I finally couldn't take it anymore and broke it off and moved out.

Plus you never know who or what you're getting from someone you meet in a bar.

I could be wrong, but there are only 3 kinds of people you find in a bar. 1. Just wants to get drunk. 2. Just wants a piece of tail. 3. Just wants to hang out with friends and have a good time, tail or no tail.

I'm gay and always thought the only way to meet someone, find a mate, was by going to gay bars. It never ever worked. I got fed up, decided I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life and quit trying.

Then one day, right out of the blue, during my Latin classes in college, I met the one. My soul mate and I wasn't even looking. Serendipity I think. We've been together for 20 years now and for me, yes it was love at first sight, but I took my time cultivating it and creating a strong foundation to build our relationship on. We dated almost 10 months before we even had sex. (Lol but this is virtually unheard of in the lesbian scene, there's even a joke about it, something about it-- what does a lesbian bring on a 1st date a u-haul.) We hope to be able to get legally married one day.

I think the best and most real thing, that true love happens when you're not looking for it. It just seems to me that most people are looking for something when they go to a bar and it's usually not true love. JMPO and personal extended experience.

Please be careful, the situation sounds tricky.

Go slow getting to know him and in the meantime do lots of due diligence work to find out more about him. Meet his friends, family, coworkers. Meet his enemies, his exes, etc! The question to ask is not "Do you believe in love at first sight?" but rather "Is this suitor mentally healthy?"