the host is in denial

Yes. Jonathan can tell you (the host) want he wants to say and you can write it. I do this for the littles in our system. Hello, Jonathan. Nice to meet you

Ok. Jonathan says nice to meet you too. Oh ok, he wants me to write down his specific words, with his color. Ok, next time, Jon.

I sent a text message to a friend one hour ago, then disappeared of course because of all the switching (and Nathan avoids talking to the people outside because he doesn't want to be seen...same with Jonathan). Basically, they want to hide. They think the consequences of friends and family meeting them would be catastrophic, because people won't be able to understand. Nathan is worried, he thinks it would be absolutely damaging to the entire system.
So now I don't even know what to tell my friends! I'll be like uh ok I just disappeared, I just feel confused.

Well, DID is a very controversial topic, in the medical world and in society so Nathan and Jonathan's want to be hidden makes sense. Have you thought about journaling? It would be a way to communicate and a way to keep track of conversations, events and other things done throughout the day. My alters also want to remain hidden.

I'm well aware of that. I'm also scared of professionals knowing about them - and so are they.

Yeah I think I'll use my journal here. I just need time to get used to this....it's very hard for me to accept and get used to it. I'm watching my life changing in front of my eyes...changing completely. It's like being stuck in a nightmare....I gotta get used to it and learn how to cope with it, survive with it, live with it....

This is always really tough. I find myself in denial sometimes, or I'll have a really bad existential crisis. In the early 2000's I hosted quite often. (I'm no longer a host, but perhaps a co host?) I wasn't really aware of DID or even knew what it was. I've had others with me though for as long as I can remember. It wasn't until a couple years ago that I found out about DID. Back in the day I thought it was normal to be like this. I was open about it and everything, I was ignorant. I was pretty young though, and so was everyone I was open with, so maybe they thought it was a game. Sometimes I wonder if this is just a game.. but.. if it was just a game, why is it still going on? Why can't I stop 'playing.'
It most certainly is not a game, and it's definitely real.

No longer being the host that I was, I sometimes panic, and the existential crisis start up. Luckily I have others that know and care about me, and they always reassure me. Sure, I'm in denial for a few days sometimes, but I snap out of it.

It's tough on everyone in the system when anyone in it is having thoughts or denial. For me, I was frightened when I realized everything that was going on exactly. I'm glad to say that I've gotten used to it, and I'm able to accept it a lot more. I'm grateful to (almost) everyone in my system, and we work well together now.

I definitely suggest using a journal to communicate, or call an inner world meeting if you can. If you guys could talk this out and try to communicate better I think you can get through this easier. If you want to talk or anything, I wouldn't mind chatting.

-Joey

My host used to be in denial too, but that was because I was very mean and forced them to switch and stuff. I dealt with all of this fairly badly by pretending to be an invading demon and well long story short my host and two of their friends thought pure evil was out to kill them for a while.... I felt really guilty about this though because all I ever wanted to do was help them! Everything changed when they got our current boyfriend, though. He actually wanted to get to know me ! And he helped me understand and be forgiven by my host, so now my host and I are friends and we are both in a relationship with the same boy and it's going super! I still feel very ashamed of my passed though .

Yes all of this is true and I am afraid that I haven't always been nice either but we have really worked things out now!