Greetings everyone,
It has been some time since I last wrote something here. To those who worried, I am well, but I was rather busy. I will start by covering how summer went for me, in a roughly chronological order. I will also write another post about a more serious issue instead of writing it here, to keep the length of both posts manageable. Those who wish to skip reading the update and only read the questions may do so by going to the header in bold at the two-thirds of the post.
I finished the session exhausted, with little energy, and some homeworks left to do. During the month of June, there was little improvement in my condition : I still felt exhausted, and I had problems with doing homeworks and just caring after me because I had concentration issues. In hindsight, June was a month to "recharge the batteries", so to speak. I also started taking an antidepressant in the same month, but I stopped it because I had a hard time remembering to take it on time. I restarted taking that antidepressant and made sure not to forget it. The T and the psychiatrist did not think I was depressive, but the psychiatrist tried it anyway. It seems to have had a positive effect so far ! I also had an appointment with a doctor to evaluate my energy and balance issues, and would have had a blood test, but I lost the paper, so it had to be redone; I went for the blood test maybe two weeks ago.
Then came July; I had more energy, and less concentration issues, and started caring for myself better. The first two weeks were mainly about getting better, and I did get better. I still had problems with proper sleep times, but I decided I would not fight it since I did not need to wake up early. On the third week I started working in my late homeworks again, and I was very productive doing so; I still am, but I am not done yet ... On the end of the month, my psychiatrist suggested me to register to the variable-intensity assistance, so I have been seeing a mental health nurse (most of the time at my home) once a week since then. It has been helpful, and the help is very concrete.
The month of August was pretty much dedicated to finish my homeworks. One of these works was doing a interactive software simulation of a water-jet carwash : the difficulty and complexity was considerably higher than previous assignments; although I did not have problems with the difficulty level, there was a lot more work to do. Since I couldn't join the teachers, I did the work as requested on the assignment sheet. When they came back to work, the teacher told me he had significantly revised the assignment, but my work is too far done to start over, so I will hand over the product of the original assignment, which he agreed to (and was rather impressed I'd try something so difficult).
The semester started this week, and my schedule has only 12 hours of class. I told my father I'd be looking for a job, and to my surprise, he told me to start the semester first, and see how well it goes before attempting to have a job, that he had the financial means to help me and would do it. It relieves me from some pressure.
That is pretty much it about my updates. Still no communication with the others in here.
A few questions about proprioception (it may trigger some; I talk of unusual body sensations)
One point which still worries me is my proprioception. My body seems to have difficulty identifying its position at rest properly.
As an example, if I lie on my bed, on my back, without moving and my hands in a comfortable position, I will end up feeling confused about the position and shape of my hands : I know that they haven't moved or changed shape, but my proprioception will indicate me that some fingers have "fused" together (sometimes all of them), and I can't figure out where exactly, in relation to my body, my hands are from proprioception alone. Other disturbances include not being able to properly sense the angle of most joints, and my brain reporting "erroneous" information : my proprioception starts reporting that I am adopting contorted or even impossible body positions or that I become dislocated and it really creeps me out, especially about the angle of my head. This happens only at rest : if I move, even just a little, my proprioception usually resets to the "correct" position.
Can this be related to DID ? Has someone else experience something similar ?
Thank you for your answers !