Scared *tw*

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR WELL, EVERYTHING

Lately I dont know whats going on. am I awake, am I asleep?
New ones join our group every day almost, our system is huge and yet it captures us in doubt if we arent further fragmenting. ( we dont~? )
It feels not right, nothing feels right.
Keep dissociating, hearing voices, captured between doubt and believe I think
I dont even know who i am right now, who is typing.

It just feels not right, as far as it is even feeling to begin with.
As im typing now ( am I the one typing, i dont know ) things settle somewhat down. Our memory is pretty bad, everything seem to collapse. Will I ever return?

I keep on going blank, spacing off, were getting pretty dysfunctional and are dysfunctional.
I feel sick in the head so to say, keep getting flashes, stuff that doesnt make sense. Scared at times, what we will become. Anxiety seems to be around ( which could be an message of "I am here!" ) It all feels to much. i dont want to go in denial, i dont want anyone left behind, and our typing right now as we speak, feels as if it is taken over constantly, like many type right now.

Im just at our withs end. This life feels like a bad dream, it feels as if it was never mine to begin with. It feels not real, our body feels so uncomfortable and all.

We hallucinate, like floathin over the body, watching from above and afar, while we begin to see an dark forest for example, which is part of our inner world, discovered. Finding more people and are not sure how we manage it at all. Everything is to overwhelming, clicks, everything seems to be possible. Our brain just wont go slower, and we probably should ask inside, but
I think we have not slept last night either, atleast, i asked inside and get the response we didnt. have an vague memory of it I think... waking up due an nightmare.
At this point, i only can let it go, control was never mine. We discover new stuff fast ( maybe to fast? )

And I generally dont feel good at all. Think were still overwhelmed by all the newcomers.
The body itches, the arms itch and its very crowded now.

Its all pretty surreal at the moment. Constantly tired. Gettin waves of overwhelm.

Us. ( Its such a mess )

At times like this, what you are describing, I think it's best to focus on the basics. Grounding and basic self-care.

-You need to sleep. How can you get better/more sleep?
-Are you eating properly?
-Focus on your breath, count it maybe.
-Figure out which of your senses is the best for grounding (touch/smell/sight/sound/taste/etc. When I'm very dissociated then my vision and hearing gets distorted, so I prefer tactile and movement)

Remember that nothing lasts forever.

Do you like nature? Being engaged with/mindful the outdoors is good for me.

niva wrote:At times like this, what you are describing, I think it's best to focus on the basics. Grounding and basic self-care.

-You need to sleep. How can you get better/more sleep?
-Are you eating properly?
-Focus on your breath, count it maybe.
-Figure out which of your senses is the best for grounding (touch/smell/sight/sound/taste/etc. When I'm very dissociated then my vision and hearing gets distorted, so I prefer tactile and movement)

Remember that nothing lasts forever.

Do you like nature? Being engaged with/mindful the outdoors is good for me.

Thank you, its very helpfull.
We dont know if we sleep or not, guess others are awake at night, explains the hangover feelings we get sometimes. Eating and all is a though one, were not sure, there is no structure in it. I guess we do
Our sight and hearing also gets distorted, even as touch, its like, its unreachable, mind goes blank, and am trapped in some sort of confusion or something. The world gets unreal, and its difficult to get back, but it somehow succeeds to come back, tho I do know how. Floating. I mostly watch and never front.
Yes we like nature Walking seems to help somewhat.

A grounding tecnique that works for me is called 5step grounding. There are several different ways to do it but for me, this is how I do it. An I concentrate on each step.

1. Name 5 things you can see.
2. Name 4 things you can hear.
3. Name 3 things you can smell.
4. Name 2 things you can taste.
5. Touch something and describe in detail what is feels. Is it hard? Is it soft? Is it bumpy. Does it fold? Is is it soft, etc. Use as much detail as possible.

Repeat as necessary.

Hope it helps.