Rather be seperates

I have been integrating for a while. I hate some of my alters and there decisions. Some seem weak to me the other is annoyingly a ppl pleazer. The mother wants to mother ppl that don't like her and wish them well. The little need daddy figures keeping us in an unsure relationship with the daddy figure. Like wtf. I remember when we decided to remember together because ppl where saying things happened and we didn't remember and time didn't make since. And we couldn't maneuver around the abusive mother of this body so we all remember and the quiet one took over and we became antisocial, secluded and reclusive again. we at least became popular in school for a while when we didn't remember. I think we can make it career wise if we do this again. But come with a better plan on how to deal with the forgetfulness. There's to many that settle for being oppressed and suppressed they don't want to move it takes tragedies and desperations for this idiot to make moves. I mean proactiveness a person successful not continually reacting and this lazy bunch just throws there hand up and gives up. I'm so annoyed. We pretty much shut the children up for a year to make it through school for a year so it's possible. i'm seriously planning a coupe till we get to a better place in life. I refuse to live how I have been living these pass 20 somethings years

There's to many that settle for being oppressed and suppressed they don't want to move it takes tragedies and desperations for this idiot to make moves.

My alters like this are integrating and it's nothing short of a miracle to see the needy, oppressed weak ones glued to the tough ones.

Either way together or apart it's been painful. I'm opting for together since none of us like being alone and literally hate feeling secluded or in solitary confinement.

Best of luck in handling yours. Xoxo

Journalgirl wrote:

There's to many that settle for being oppressed and suppressed they don't want to move it takes tragedies and desperations for this idiot to make moves.

My alters like this are integrating and it's nothing short of a miracle to see the needy, oppressed weak ones glued to the tough ones.

Either way together or apart it's been painful. I'm opting for together since none of us like being alone and literally hate feeling secluded or in solitary confinement.

Best of luck in handling yours. Xoxo

Thank you. It seems we are not liking each other right now. My tougher ones are upset with my weakers because the mother has children who relies on her. Money is tight and therapy is not available. So integration with slurred words, drunken movements when they're not in agreement can be unsettling and embarrassing to say the least. The battle inside with wanting to leave a SO because of lack of trust compared to being extremely needy and codependent leaving us vulnerable to more abuse. A year of intense school and being careful to hide the others caused the productive ones to be less tolerant of what they consider to be the "woe is me" ones. The stronger feels they are in a rut and want to be successful in life. Maybe weaker parts feel they need to recuperate after such an intense environment. To put everyone under subjection to one personality was exhausting to the system and hide ourselves to outsiders. There's a lose of control going on. The weakers want hugs,and rest. The stronger ones feel they're no room for rest in this economy. I even since genuine hate for each other. There's been name calling.

Thank you. It seems we are not liking each other right now. My tougher ones are upset with my weakers because the mother has children who relies on her. Money is tight and therapy is not available. So integration with slurred words, drunken movements when they're not in agreement can be unsettling and embarrassing to say the least. The battle inside with wanting to leave a SO because of lack of trust compared to being extremely needy and codependent leaving us vulnerable to more abuse. A year of intense school and being careful to hide the others caused the productive ones to be less tolerant of what they consider to be the "woe is me" ones. The stronger feels they are in a rut and want to be successful in life. Maybe weaker parts feel they need to recuperate after such an intense environment. To put everyone under subjection to one personality was exhausting to the system and hide ourselves to outsiders. There's a lose of control going on. The weakers want hugs,and rest. The stronger ones feel they're no room for rest in this economy. I even since genuine hate for each other. There's been name calling.

You have a lot of awareness about what's going on and while it seems antagonistic and perhaps chaotic, awareness of these struggles is the first step toward cooperation at some level. Are the weak ones communicating with the strong ones and vice versa aside from name calling? I can definitely relate to the push pull of strong and weak parts. It can be exhausting when there isn't cooperation and respect.

You have a lot of awareness about what's going on and while it seems antagonistic and perhaps chaotic, awareness of these struggles is the first step toward cooperation at some level. Are the weak ones communicating with the strong ones and vice versa aside from name calling? I can definitely relate to the push pull of strong and weak parts. It can be exhausting when there isn't cooperation and respect.[/quote]


Oh yessss, sometimes I wake up to chatter. We also communicate in dreams. In my dreams they come in different faces than my own. Sometimes it's so loud and audible. sometime I have to ask them where things were placed like a pair of shoes or keys. Some urges the body to wake up if something needs to be taken care of like appointment. And they are very angry with the decisions of the others. Sometimes we can wake up to a voices that says wake up one minute before the alarm. And another voice would remind the other of what needs to be done. Someone will get dressed. I pretty much will find out who is out by the clothing and hair. I don't think I act different or have different mannerism, but the ones close to me says i do. The talking never stops if there's battle inside i slur my words or walk like a drunk. My 13 year old is beginning to notice. He mentioned he smelled weed on me when it was just my cigarettes he think my changes and behaviors or due to some sort of drug. I just tell him I'm somewhat ADD and forgetful. I could stand beside myself while saying that to my son. Another have simultaneously talked in my ears saying "we need to be more cautious" or say "it's just the cigarettes". The funniest thing was when the host was putting together a bed frame and the host says out loud around the son, "Alright guys are we ready? lollz The son was like what?
It's hard to look normal around singles and sometimes embarrasing. We used to have outer conversations so i would walk around with an mp3 player in my ears and ppl would assume I was listening to music when they heard me speak to my selves.