Anyone been Hospitalized? TW?

We've been having serious money problems and really hard time holding down a job. Our parents cut us off and won't talk to us now. And it's all caused a lot of depression. One alter already killed herself within the system. And I've been fighting the urge to self-injure.

Mainly I'm wondering if anyone here has been to the hospital and what it was like. I've been talking with our T and she told us that if we're feeling suicidal to go to the hospital immediately. We're not there yet, but we just wanted to know what to expect if we did go. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.

-Nora

I've been in the hospital many many times. Unfortunately most hospitals do not recognize DID so they tend to treat whatever seems to be presenting. their main objective is safety. The fact is that if your life or safety are at risk you need to be in the hospital until you are stable enough to resume outpatient treatment. Unless you are admitted to a specifically designated trauma treatment unit, your trauma issues are not likely to be addressed inpatient. Right now I'm trying to wait for placement at a good trauma unit near me. it's at Sheppard Pratt Hospital and I've been there before, only not me, because I have no memory of it...but I do have the journal I kept while I was there.

Unfortunately, most places I have to go for acute care treatment (ie. suicide or self-harm prevention) are very scary for my system. I go inside and hide. I can't talk or eat, or move, which, of course presents as catatonic depression. They go crazy with the meds and when they can't make progress there, they send me to a larger hospital with an eating disorder unit since I'm not eating. When the meds still don't work, they give me ECT which brings me forward just enough for them to discharge me, and then the ECT wears off and we start the whole cycle again.

I'm not saying that would happen to you or suggesting that if your life or safety are at risk that you should avoid the hospital. Hopefully your system can cope with the atmosphere better than mine can. I am saying, though, that if you have the option of a trauma unit within your area, I would make it your first choice.

If your system is strong enough to basically ignore the misguided staff, maybe the safety net provided by the structure of an acute care facility for a few days will be enough to break the pattern of self-injury and will give you what you need to recharge and make outpatient work for you again.

Sending safe thoughts (but feeling like a hypocrite as I struggle with the same things)

KK

Thanks a lot. I'm pretty confident that if we did go in one of our protectors would take over and make us seem super smart and cool to the point that everyone wondered why we were there in the first place. I can't say how productive that would be.

I'm not really sure what a trauma unit is, or where to find one nearby. I know of several psychiatric inpatient clinics, but I've heard nothing but horrible things about them. And my T doesn't even have great things to say. So that's a concern.

I just wish there were a place we could go where we could get a little bit of help because it's so hard to function like one normal person, especially when our protector parts won't let anyone get close enough to really see how damaged we are.

Maybe if it comes to that, it would be helpful for your T to make the contact with the hospital and explain your diagnoses, risks, and likely behaviors.

Of course that can't happen if it's three o'clock in the morning and your life is in danger, but it's a thought.

That's what my T was suggesting to do when she was trying to send me to an acute care unit last thursday, and to make sure the unit knew that I needed to be transferred to the trauma unit as soon as a bed became available. I wouldn't let her do it, though, because I wasn't suicidal (just self-injurious) and those acute care units always make me worse.

Best wishes,

KK

Yes. Our T has told us several times that if we ever do go to the hospital to give them her name immediately, no matter what time of day or night, and she'll help.

Hopefully it won't come to that. Thanks for the thoughts though. We feel a little better now.

What other tactics do you have? Do you have a written safety plan? If not, write one! For emergencies there is dial 911, go yourself to emergency room, call 24/7 crisis hotline, etc.

An emergency room will have some kind of mental health professional on call who can talk you down and do basic assessment and refer you to an inpatient hospital if that seems appropriate. Most inpatient stays are short, 24 or 48 hours, and typically all they can do for you is ensure you don't suicide or self harm in the usual ways.

So you also need a set of steps you can take in an urgent but not emergency situation. And a third set of steps you can take when the situation isn't urgent. On my list are self-care items such as take a shower, play with kids, eat fancy chocolate (I have a stash).

That's a really interesting idea. As a system we have a list of rules that everyone can see, but it might be good to have a list of things to do. Thank you so much for the thought!

P.S. We also have a stash of fancy chocolate.

Stashes of fancy chocolate are important things! I also have one lol I don't eat chocolate really but sometimes you're just having an awful day and nothing fixes that like expensive chocolates and a cup of tea. It's like magic!

I was hospitalized 5 times a little over a year ago. It was useless for me. It is the only psych hospital in the city, ridiculous. The city can afford to support another psych hospital. This is a huge military city, lots of our men and women coming back with PTSD, TBI among other problems. There is not enough room because all the state psych patients are hospitalized there because the state psych hospital closed.

Anyway, yeah they usually don't treat you with personal T therapy. They shove meds down your throat based on what the see rather than understanding the whole of everyone you are.
I came very close to killing myself right in front of the nurses station. Got the "shot" which knocked me out for 2 days.

I generally have a bad opinion about psych hospitals. I get the feeling some people work there to get their kicks and screw around with us. The private ones wont take insurance and want large amounts of money in advance. It's sad. My T sees me twice a week and has given me her cell phone number and that has kept me out of the hospital.

I will do whatever I have to so that I never go to the hospital again. Having all the plans in place is literally a life saver.

Definitely seek help immediately if you feel like you are going to do something. They should be able to at least help you get stabilized.

And remember evey place is different. I live in the US in a medium sized city in the deep South, bible belt. They really don't understand even the simpler problems. They think you should just get over it and get on with your life. THAT really pisses me off. Really? Don't you think I would if I could? Like I choose to be this way!

Ut oh sorry went on a rant. You gotta do what you gotta do. Persevere and do the best we can.

I wish you well and hope things work out good for all of you.

Posts like the one above make me feel so bad for you folks in the US >< Healthcare is free where I am. It really sucks that money can be such a boundary to getting well, surely the focus should be on giving people the best treatment for them and not just on the bottom line. It's just not fair I really hope you find somewhere that can help you, maybe look up a few places and do some research to see what people think of them? I'm sure there's probably places that complain about the bad ones online.