Switching all over the place

I found lumps and went immediately to Dr who immediately performed biopsy. He said results take up to 3 weeks. Then I get call from thr "surgery scheduler" I missed the call and didn't get message until after hours. Now I'm left to wonder, worry. Why the suegery scheduler. Everyone saying their piece. Someone ready to meet our maker. Another says "here comes judgment day"


My DID results in part from medical abuse and here I go again.

I'm very upset and agitated. I don't know who I am. Anybody know what that's like.

Hi there, I hope you can find a way to calm down.

I am quite rational, so here is how I see the situation. You found something that necessitated medical attention, and went to the doctor, who performed a biopsy. I do not know what you mean by medical abuse, but from what I read (that you wrote), this is not such a situation, but rather you taking care of yourself.

I am sorry but I can't be much more helpful ... I hope that the news you get are not too bad, and I send positive thoughts if they can help.

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time, forever21. I also sympathize with how you're feeling since I have a fear of surgery. My brother had a lump on his back. When he went to get it checked out, it turned out to be just an infection but it still needed to be cut out and patched up. Yours could be something similar. A non-lethal lump but too big to be removed without surgery. I hope it's nothing serious and that the surgery is minor.

Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement.

I'm embarrassed that I overreacted. Lifepuzzle, you’re right; this had nothing to do with medical abuse. I jumped from one topic to the next extreme.

I finally got to talk to the "scheduler" who stated I was put on her list by accident. I won’t find out the results of the biopsy for approximately 3 weeks. These situations, albeit embarrassing, do serve as a looking glass. I hope to gain much more control - soon.

I have no idea what part of me typed the above post, but I do remember having type it generally, as an observer. Similarly, I have a rant in my blog that bothers me a great deal, because I talk badly about my fiancée and wish him ill will. It's at the very end of my blog post, like a p.s. I had no idea it was there until over a month later. I was comparing my blog with my then current understanding of my system. I thought it was just a nice little summary about my system and what they were working on. Now I fear my fiancée will come across it someday.

I have been having face to face conversations with people with no recollection lately. They seem puzzled that I don’t even remember having talked to them.

forever21 wrote:Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement.

I'm embarrassed that I overreacted. Lifepuzzle, you’re right; this had nothing to do with medical abuse. I jumped from one topic to the next extreme.

I finally got to talk to the "scheduler" who stated I was put on her list by accident. I won’t find out the results of the biopsy for approximately 3 weeks. These situations, albeit embarrassing, do serve as a looking glass. I hope to gain much more control - soon.

I'm glad to hear that it was nothing. Unfortunately, mistakes like that happen a lot but I'm glad they caught that it was a mistake.

forever21 wrote:I have no idea what part of me typed the above post, but I do remember having type it generally, as an observer. Similarly, I have a rant in my blog that bothers me a great deal, because I talk badly about my fiancée and wish him ill will. It's at the very end of my blog post, like a p.s. I had no idea it was there until over a month later. I was comparing my blog with my then current understanding of my system. I thought it was just a nice little summary about my system and what they were working on. Now I fear my fiancée will come across it someday.

This makes me think of the two times I was at school and frustrated because I got some bad grades. I was at the library and started typing an angry email to my mom and dad telling them everything I thought was wrong with our family. I proofread the email and hit send. As soon as I did, the angry, confident feeling I was having while writing the email immediately vanished, replaced by an anxious scared feeling. I read it again and realized what I said was really harsh but it felt like I was observing myself write and that these were someone else's critiques. While I agreed with the points that were made, the way things were worded didn't sound like me, especially since I know my mom takes criticism very negatively. If your fiancé is really understanding, that person won't get mad about it.

forever21 wrote:I have been having face to face conversations with people with no recollection lately. They seem puzzled that I don’t even remember having talked to them.

This happens to me too which will usually lead to me greeting people multiple times throughout the day. I remember in high school, I was greeting the assistance if the dean of the school and she said, "she says hi to you like it's her first time seeing you today." Sometimes I don't realize that I had seen that person earlier on in my day.

Thank you Violarules. You seem to relate.

I received a nice call from the Dr who personally apologized for the mistake. I didn't make a big deal about it. He really doesn't think I have anything to worry about.