Being Born

I just remembered that I remember being born. I remembered it once before, like maybe when I was on the trauma unit, but then I forgot it again.

We were very young, like maybe 4 or 5, but I had seen the Wizard of Oz before because I remember thinking, when I was born that it was like when Dorothy landed in Oz and everything went from black and white to color. It made sense to me at the time and I was very excited to be truly alive. I even tried to explain it to my mother - that I was finally born and how good it felt to be alive at last. She didn't understand me and I guess figured it was something from my imagination, but it was true. I just didn't know how to explain it so that it would make sense, because, of course, it doesn't make sense.

I got my name then too. There was a girl in my kindergarten class who lived with her grandparents. My mom used to take me there to play with her when she needed to do something. The girl's grandfather always called me KK and I liked it and kept it, though everyone else still called us by our legal name. We didn't get to be called KK by anyone else until after highschool when I just started introducing us that way. It's much more comfortable.

The little girl is still 4 or 5 and still goes by our legal name, which is why I hate it so much when people use it. I don't like to be reminded of her and have very strong negative feelings toward her. I've voiced this before on this forum and I'm told I shouldn't hate her, but I can't make myself feel any other way right now. I guess it's something I'll have to work toward in therapy, but everything seems to be in slow motion right now with therapy only once a week. It's like I get there and everyone's pounding on the inside of my head to get out and I'm fighting just as hard to keep them quiet. The emotions get just to the breaking point and it's time to pack it all away and pretend nothing's wrong for another week.

Anyway, I wanted to write down about when I was born while I still remember it. Is this the way other people remember being born? I don't remember when Christian was born, but I'm not him, so maybe he remembers.
KK

Hello - that's cool that you remember being born

My memories are vague - like I remember getting a hair cut for a specific child alter but I don't remember the trauma that prompted the birth- I also remember an early fascination with electronics/gadgets which related to the birth of another alter but again very vague. I didn't get names when they were born, they just used the birth name but some went by the first name, others by the middle name and later some would go by specific nicknames. I like how your child alter recognized what was happening as it related to the wizard of oz. kids are so smart!!

Thanks for sharing -