Strange session with the T

Greetings everyone,

I do not know whether the following post and thread could be triggering, but it talks about therapy, about being stalled (possibly by another alter) and ways to resolve this issue.

For the past 2 weeks, I have resumed seeing the T twice a week, and for the past 4 weeks, we have been working more intensively, using hypnosis, among others. However, there was little to no progress, and it seems like an alter could be stalling the process of therapy. Today, when I saw the T, we used hypnosis again, with the T sending to some (apparently) deep state of hypnosis. Then he tried to enter in contact with other alters than me, which was unsuccessful. I don't remember everything during the session and the part with hypnosis (maybe Supervisor is trying to alter my memories of it, I wouldn't be surprised), but it seems like Supervisor is actively blocking the process, and it seems impossible to convince it to allow the continuation of therapy, or otherwise be granted permissions to something, anything. I do not like asking that question, but is it possible to bypass Supervisor somehow ? I am not functional anymore, and I am still deteriorating; I don't see how this is viable in the long term, being unable to work ! Also, during the session, at some point (by Supervisor's intervention), I was zapped out of the hypnotic state I was in nearly instantly. The session concluded with me being fairly demoralised about the lack of progress.

I (and the T probably) would at the very least want to know why he is stalling such progress. And I am really getting tired about this situation. And I would rather get Supervisor's cooperation than get in a conflict. I have no idea what he is ultimately able and/or ready to do. He seems to not trust the T for some reason.

Any idea on what I/we could do to change this ? In any case, I wish to get better and for the therapy process to go on, whether or not this is satisfactory to you, Supervisor.

- The host

I am the gatekeeper for our system and I may extrapolate meaning from insufficient data.

Supervisor, you appear to have a solid reason for blocking access to information and alters by the host and the therapist. Would you be willing to tell your host whether this is due to your concern about the skills or person of the therapist or the readiness or capacity of your host, or both? Are you in dialog with him? It is unnecessary to respond here.

I now believe, from a position in our system which may be parallel to you in yours, that once the dangers from childhood are past, that is the time for increase in communication and awareness in order for the damage to heal. I delayed our healing by shutting off all access to all information and this was an error on my part. But I did not understand and proceeded as was my way and from habit formed during trauma.

If you believe that your host is not ready to engage with the system or if you believe that his situation is not stable (for example, if he still depends on support from abusers), would you be able to communicate at least a representation of your decisions so that he is not in despair, which is damaging to his portion of the mind and to the body.

Hi, Lifepuzzle, I hope you're doing well. Has there been any change or progress in therapy? I'm looking into moving towards something more intensive in terms of therapy and am willing to arrange time off of work if I need to. But this work is not easy and is often very tough. Parts of me are blah about any change, some are anxious, and some seem terrified. Don't get too discouraged about hitting a plateau, but that's easy for me to say.

Hi!

No change so far. I had a session today and two days ago. The T decided to do a different exercise at the beforelast session, something about anchoring ressources to help me deal with possibly traumatic memories, using EMDR. I can't say I've felt any difference doing EMDR so far, though.

Today's session, though, we did hypnosis again. It went pretty much how I expected it to, and Supervisor was again blocking things. Apparently, the T and it spoke for over 20 minutes, with little to no results. Then the T asked for me to return, and Supervisor switched me out, still in hypnosis. The T insisted a bit to try to provoke something, with Supervisor returning to order him to stop. Then I was zapped out of hypnosis and switched out. I ended up wondering whether Supervisor is simply enforcing the "party line", which in turn prevents things from progressing. I am however getting tired of going to the T for what amounts to very little.

Now, to answer some of Sphinx's questions, Supervisor is able to communicate with me, it has done so in the past; he chooses not tell me, us, or the T, anything, for some reason. Depending on your definition of psychological violence, my father may or may not be or have been an abuser now or at some other point in the past; I do, however, depend on him financially at the moment, until I get better enough to work, and he has already told me he would not support indefinitely. Supervisor also does not trust the T. I do not know whether he thinks I'm able to deal with therapy, nor do I, in all honesty.

That's pretty much what's up with therapy at the moment.