Alters switches and friends.

I have two friends, R and J.

Angela likes R. Angela doesn't know J. too much.
Nev likes J. and R.

When I am talking to J., I tend to be Nev.
When I am talking to R., I tend to be Angela.

I (Nev) doesn't like Angela. J. doesn't like Angela.

R. is confused about me, but he likes him because he likes Angela. He likes everyone in my head, he is disappointed when there is Drago/Ashley, becuase that kid is paranoid and try to ruin the relationship.

I don't understand why, and I wonder what would happen if I talk with both at the same time.

I can't understand why my head tens to be Nev (Me) when I talk to J. Angela maybe doing well all the day, then she starts talking with J. and I suddenly "Wake up". It is confusing because I don't remember what I have done until then (Blackout). If I was Nev since before, I don't "wake up", of course.

With R. it happens the same: If there was Angela since before, no problem. If there was Nev, then there is a "wake up" and a blackout.

Rarely this may not happen, so I may be talking with R. being Nev -And it is weird-. Or Angela with J.


When I am with a Doc or an authority, my mind suddenly shut up and there appear Mr.Insight (A fragment from Nev, the rational and quiet and perfect one, without any kind of feeling)

Normally Angela disappear when I am here (Nev), and there are only Nev's fragments and Ashley/Drago . But when there is Angela, there is always a Nev's fragments to talk to (Usually Mr.Insight) and Drago/Ashley. Angela is weird, she looks more human than Nev. Angela makes Drago/Ashley nervous, they are always really paranoid when there is Angela. Right now they are here, Drago doesn't want me to post this, but I can calm him. Angela cannot.

So...when Angela talks to R., she easily loses her control because of Drago/Ashley. It is a problem, I and Angela almost lost his friendship because of this. When He realized about the problem, he forgave us. But Angela doesn't want to annoy him, she is scared of being annoying. She is scared of being hurt or abandoned. I am not.

Note: I don't know if I should post here or in the DDNOS subforum. I post this here because it is about alters. I apologize.

First of all, you have nothing to apolagize for, everyone has the right to post something if they wish to so relax.

Some parts of your explanation are a bit confusing but I'll try to help out on the things that I think is going on.
You've staded that Angela is scared of being hurt and abandoned , you've also stated that Angela doesn't know J. much and that J. doesn't like Angela. It could be that Angela is scared of J. becouse she knows or is scared/hurt to know that J dislikes her so "switches" to avoid J.

That part about Drago/Ashley is confusing, is this one alter that you aren't sure of wheter it is male or female (which makes sense sinse you called them "that kid", or are they two different alters?

Another problem is that you or Angela unwillingly switch when you talk to R right? I had this before I knew about DID , it was because all my alters fought for control and wanted to talk to my friends , maby it's the same for you?

It also seems like you are trying to ask many questions at the same time and that makes your text hard to understand, would you please try to line up your questions so all of us are able to try and help you?

Iluranai wrote:First of all, you have nothing to apolagize for, everyone has the right to post something if they wish to so relax.

Some parts of your explanation are a bit confusing but I'll try to help out on the things that I think is going on.

Thanks. I am quite confused about this, sorry

Iluranai wrote:You've staded that Angela is scared of being hurt and abandoned , you've also stated that Angela doesn't know J. much and that J. doesn't like Angela. It could be that Angela is scared of J. becouse she knows or is scared/hurt to know that J dislikes her so "switches" to avoid J.

Can this happen?

Can she switch just to avoid J.?

(Sorry, I don't like the idea of having alters....so I am searching something that makes it impossible. Something invalidating.)

Iluranai wrote:That part about Drago/Ashley is confusing, is this one alter that you aren't sure of wheter it is male or female (which makes sense sinse you called them "that kid", or are they two different alters?

I don't know. They both are kids, like two sides of the same coin. I don't know if they are the same in a different rol (Which makes sense because sometimes It is like they are the same) or different kids (Which also makes sense because I remember them as if they were different kids)...or maybe I don't want to accept they are different, because I don't want to have more alters (Thanks Insight)

Iluranai wrote:Another problem is that you or Angela unwillingly switch when you talk to R right? I had this before I knew about DID , it was because all my alters fought for control and wanted to talk to my friends , maby it's the same for you?

Angela is...in love with R.

Iluranai wrote:It also seems like you are trying to ask many questions at the same time and that makes your text hard to understand, would you please try to line up your questions so all of us are able to try and help you?

"Oh, that Is not normal between people with alters, you can't have alters/fragments if that happens."---> I wanted this

So, mi question was...:
Is it normal to switch only because you are talking to a specific person?

*.*

It is really dumb to ask that ....someone in my head knows the answer, but I don't....

He keeps saying: you are trying to self-invalidate.

I can't understand that. Even if I know it: he said it.

But...I don't get it.

Yes it's normal (wel for people for DID) to switch when we're triggered for example ***trigger alert*** if you were abused in a small grey room without excape , you may get flashbacks or panic when you walk into a similar room and "excape" within yourself or in this case 'switch'.

Anger , pain , helplessness, fear, makes it easier to switch becouse the alters where born to deal with the emotions that were to strong to be dealed with when you were alone.

It seems that Angela is triggered by love with R and maby fear with J.

Ps. it isn't dumb to ask about this, it toke a whole lot of time before I even grasped the idea of switching, I'm just happy you had the guts to actually ask for some help

Sorry, I fergot to mension some things.
It's normal for us to have fragments, but it's possible that some of your fragments are actually alters themself and just resemble your known alters , I had this with Kyuubi ( one of my the protectors) she resembles me a lot but she dispise children (while I like them) and has a very low tolarance to males and strangers.
Fragments are alters that aren't quite finnished, at least that was what I read.
Drago and Ashley could be twins (yeah it happens and is quite common to).

You seem quite nervous or stressed about this all,take a deep breath and relax ,the people here are very nice and understanding we live with similair issues and ask those questions all the time , you have nothing to worry about.

Thanks.

I don't feel anyone has a whole personality or identity. Some are more fragmented, others are less (like Nev or Angela), but neither of them is a whole person (Including 'me')

It is like some people's fragments (Nev, Angela, Ashley, Drago...) orbit around something that isn't there ("Me"). Usually a fragment would go nearer, so he or she would have more influence on "me" behaviors, and "Me" would feel as if "Me" were him/her.

But the fragment could still talk as if he wasn't "Me", for example: I may feel like Nev, but Nev could be still talking to me.

In my case, I better understand this as dissociated mental states. They have their own memories and feeling, but there is something there that don't allow them to be "full" people. Anyway, they still look similar to an alter, but I don't think it would be the appropriate word for them. They are a little different.

I am quite clearer

I apologize for the confusion.

The way you explain how you are influenced and feel like another part of you (even if you talk to that same part and know that you aren't him) sounds like co-existing.
It's a state were two or more parts function at the same time.
I'm not as far with co-existing and talking with the other parts within me as you are (we comunicate by writing and emotions) but it sounds normal to me so I don't believe that you have anything to worry about that, but if you aren't quite sure you can always ask a person who's specialised with DID.

I just wanted to say I left my abusers on september 2014 and after a bit more than two years all alters but one are gone, now they are part of me. I dissociate much less even if I still do a lot.

Machiavello wrote:I just wanted to say I left my abusers on september 2014 and after a bit more than two years all alters but one are gone, now they are part of me. I dissociate much less even if I still do a lot.

hi Machiavello. those are good news. glad to hear that. It's good to stay away from people who hurt you.
Good Luck on your Journey.
~Blogjects

Probably can answer this by now 2014, right? Who knows who who has what role preferences and memories. Go with the flow don't allow jealousy only some jealousy soon enough whoever you want to talk will also be doing so. Introductions are great to the scenario that doesn't exist at the moment. It reminds me of a test database that you to have test it's validity on several sides of the argument. We're In!