Mother forced me into acting like i had DID?

A slight, implied abuse trigger warning here and sorry for any format mistakes, this is my first time every posting on this website! And this may be long, cause it's hard to explain, so I also apologize for that !!

So recently, I've been really letting myself think about the past with my abusive mother (who I was taken away from at 9 years old. I now live with my adopted sister ). And what has been really bothering me is that my mother, her name is Sharon, made me act like multiple different people. She barely called me by my birth name, instead by either Eli, Rose, or Lux. They all had different times she wanted "them" to be out. Like, for example, I was assigned as a male at birth, but my mother had always wanted a daughter, and so she just treated me as a girl, though she let me know I wasn't REALLY a girl. Eli was the only one who could "act like a boy." Eli, she would tell me, was the one who is supposed to be quiet, obey her, and to be the one shown in public. Lux was the one she took to parties (she was an alcoholic & partied a lot) and she said she was the one who could act like a grown up, the one who was a girly girl, and the one who was her friend. She wanted me to be called Lux when I was in trouble and when she would punish me (either physically or just yelling), she called me Lux. And Rose was her daughter she always wanted. She told me she was good and sweet, and when Sharon was happy, she would say, "You're Rose, and we're going to go to the park/get ice cream/etc."

So all three of them had distinct roles. This wouldn't be too worrying for me, but the thing is, from September to December, I had a really rough time with dissociating. I think I kind of made myself really, really think I had DID and made myself switch between the three of them and myself. Lux was the one I used around friends, Eli was the schoolboy, and Rose kind of became a young version of me. But it got worse and I started feeling like more and more different people, more than just the three, and it made everyone around me start to really dislike me and told me I was cr*zy. Like three more of these "alters" formed, there was Jay, Iz, & Neon. They all had their own roles that they did and own characteristics. Then in January of 2014, it kind of stopped, my brother-in-law (who is a psychiatrist) said that I could very well just have borderline personality disorder (which I really do think I have, which could be the cause of all the latest stuff). But it's been starting up again? I keep switching and thinking stuff like, Lux, you go talk to so-and-so. And I'll take on the characteristics she has. And it includes all 6 of the different people. Sometimes I feel like it's just me trying to take care of the situation around me more easily by fitting into their roles, but sometimes I feel like I'm truly different people, as if it's really DID. Like one night I could feel Lux and Eli like co-host together, they were both trying to get me to do different things. It's all very tough to describe. So could my mother have forced me into having or thinking I have this? Or is this just more on the No-Sense-Of-Identity of bpd? I'm just very confused and really apologize for how long this was! I would really appreciate any feedback on this to see if I'm just thinking about it too much or if it could really be a problem. Thank you!

I don't know too much about DID...but....It is not impossible to have been forced into acting like different people and having "real" DID. Actually, what happened to you is an abuse, so maybe in the beginning they were "false", but then they became "real" to cope with the abusive situation, and then, there appeared more of them to cope with other stressful situations.

Does this make sense to you?

Do you have other DID symptoms? Do you have BPD diagnosis?

I don't know if you have a pDoc/Tdoc.

Hi Tabris,

Welcome to the forum. Just because we have DID doesn't make us an expert. Actually that's a stupid sentence. It does make us an expert... but just for us not for you.

Anyway we were thinking that we all were kind of forced by someone to be DID. At least by what someone did to us and how they made us live. Your mom just gave you names. We're not sure that makes you not DID.

TW----
Our abuser made us separate from the boy everybody knew. He told us how to act and what to say and what NOT to say. We didn't just make ourselves up. He needed us to be us so he could do the things he did and we needed us to survive. That's what DID is - being who you have to be to survive.
END TW---

Sorry this is kind of long and complicated. Just trying to think of stuff to help.

Iain + several others