Gender Identity and Dissociation

Here's a fun topic for those who have alters who are the opposite identity from the body:

Does anyone here have issues with gender identity? Are you not sure how to label yourself? Do you get confused (and disgruntled) when people ask you what pronouns you want them to use?

I've settled on calling myself gender fluid. I also considered the term polygender.

I'm genuinely curious because I don't see any resources online related to dissociation and gender identity. You'd think that there would be more available. There are scientific papers related to the subject, but those are quite dry, not a support community.

If someone made a website to support others with dissociative disorders who are struggling with gender identity (because of opposite sex alters, etc.), would that be useful for you?

I'm sure that I'm not the only system asking these questions.

Morgan_le_Fey wrote:Does anyone here have issues with gender identity? Are you not sure how to label yourself? Do you get confused (and disgruntled) when people ask you what pronouns you want them to use?

Possible trigger for negative self talk.


The confusion is mostly the male alters' inside this female body. They feel male but they know they aren't a classic trans since the females feel female. There aren't any other pronounces but males or females, aside from our 'favorite' "6 headed freak".
So yes when we're co-conscious or switching a lot or blended or any of those things, we'll have trouble labeling ourselves. I honestly don't know what to call that. It's male and female, but neither. I think alternating gender incongruity (AGI) fits best. Or one could simply say that 2 of us are transgender.

yeah. the hosts and the main fronters are all male, body is female. I came out as transgender a few years ago and have been living as male for around three years. I've had my named changed by deed poll. My daughter knows me as male and only uses male pronouns. I am still in the medical system for treatment but just before I was due to start hormone treatment I held back because my mental health was getting worse and I had to fully admit that I might be doing the wrong this for the system - I don't know if I'm making decisions for those who can't properly communicate. Some are angry about stopping transition, others don't care. Some days it's pretty unbearable. I am male. I despise this body. Every time someone uses female pronouns I feel so belittled. It's demeaning. lol someoneis vehement about it.

TheCollective wrote:Possible trigger for negative self talk.

*TW* I'll place a TW here because my reply triggered me a little bit.

I'm not disgruntled about my gender identity. I just get distressed when others ask for my pronouns sometimes. People generally expect to be able to ask that question once and get an answer that they can use consistently. I end up either having to be vague, be less than completely genuine, or risk outing myself as "multiple."

TheCollective wrote: I think alternating gender incongruity (AGI) fits best. Or one could simply say that 2 of us are transgender.

I'd never heard of AGI, but I definitely connect with the idea of feeling as though I have phantom body parts of the opposite gender.

skin wrote:Some days it's pretty unbearable. I am male. I despise this body.

Martha (pseudonym) 29 years old: It concerns me that you feel so distressed. Hang in there!
*TW* Lizzie (pseudonym) 11 years old: It makes me hurt to know that you are hurting.

It sounds as though some of you are indeed struggling with these issues. The progressiveness of gender identity labeling and exploration has exploded within the last 20 years, so I was really surprised to not find resources available for people with DID who are working through these issues in the context of their illness. It seems to me that there is a need. Stories like Skin's (people with DID considering transition or in some state of transition) have been documented for many decades now. Every system is a bit different and has different needs, but I think that many would benefit from having tools made available. It can be challenging to try to label a "multiple" with terms and binaries aimed at people who are not "multiple." I've been thinking about this topic for some time now.

Well, if i were to introduce myself to someone in that way, I'd probably say I'm genderqueer/genderfluid, to account for everyone. but Josh may just say he's ftm and pretend i dont exist entirely. He identifies strongly with the trans community, because that's what he considered himself before he found out about the rest of us.

It can be confusing for me no matter what, but josh being co-present with me is what's most confusing..

- Merry

I call myself gender-fluid as well. It's the best term I've found to describe it to others, especially since one part goes as far as chest binding sometimes while another likes to wear super girly outfits and makeup, and there's all sorts in-between or neutral too. Same thing for sexuality. So it's a very confusing and complicated thing, since it's like I don't really fit in anywhere in terms of gender and sexuality.

And I think a website for that would be a great idea!