Your thoughts on this?

Hi everyone, I'm new here, so if I make any mistakes, please forgive me.

Lately, I've kind of been getting curious about something. I'm not sure how I should put this, but from what I've seen so far, I think it may be possible (maybe?) that I have DID. I'm not asking you to diagnose me though, I would only like to hear your thoughts on this.

In case I get anyone asking, I did go through some stuff in my childhood, but looking back at it, I don't really think of it as traumatizing (I guess). I know that it was hard to bear with it at the time, but I got through it somehow. Also, since this seems to be important as well, sometimes I look into the mirror and wonder whether that's really me. I always shake it off and go do something else when that happens though.
I'm not sure when this started, but at some point, I noticed certain patterns in my behavior. I don't necessarily have memory black outs or anything, but it's like my whole thinking and all shifts. It's kinda hard to describe this, but it's like it's still me, but not me. I'm generally a very peaceful person, but when these occurrences happened, I noticed a difference in my thinking, typing (because it hadn't happened around others at that point), and overall view on everything. If I had to describe it, I'd say I was always more mature, but slightly violent with odd thinking at the same time. Some time ago, though I'm not sure exactly when, I started calling it an alternate state, or similar things. There have been slight changes as well, whenever there's a shift, or however I should call it, I'm not as violent (though I can be sometimes), my whole behavior pattern changes (well, that was there before too, but I feel it's changed a bit now) and noticed my taste in things such as music changes a bit as well, in addition to what was before. In the sense of, I would listen to stuff I would normally not listen to, but don't dislike either. Though, I can't say the same for when that change happens. Some songs I normally listen to would then become annoying.

Either way, what do you think of this?

P.S.: Sorry about it being kind of long.

(Finally I (just) choose a name. My name is Lily from now on)

(Before you go on reading, I should tell you that I'm not really good about DID stuff)

Aoki wrote:In case I get anyone asking, I did go through some stuff in my childhood, but looking back at it, I don't really think of it as traumatizing (I guess).

Adam think that as well. We all don't remember what happened during his childhood. Either terrible stuff or something. He got verbally abused in kindergarten (I think). We don't know if he did talk a lot to his friend when he was 7 - 9 years old. But we know that he didn't talk a lot when he was 10 till now. He switched to another school when he was 10.

What makes me wondering is before he was 5 years old, before he got into a kindergarten. What happened before that? I'm not sure but we know some, just some terrible stuff happened.

Aoki wrote:Also, since this seems to be important as well, sometimes I look into the mirror and wonder whether that's really me. I always shake it off and go do something else when that happens though.

Some people here in this forum experiences that. When they look at the mirror, they think they're someone else. Adam, well, he's more like doesn't wanna look at the mirror. But he did experience something, like, when he covers his whole arm except his hand and looks at it, he feels like he's a girl, someone else.

Shake it off... you mean shake your head? I just assume you shake your head. Yeah, when Adam has some bad random thoughts in his head, he shakes his head and try to forget it. I heard that shaking your head for this is good.

Aoki wrote:I'm not sure when this started, but at some point, I noticed certain patterns in my behavior. I don't necessarily have memory black outs or anything, but it's like my whole thinking and all shifts. It's kinda hard to describe this, but it's like it's still me, but not me. I'm generally a very peaceful person, but when these occurrences happened, I noticed a difference in my thinking, typing (because it hadn't happened around others at that point), and overall view on everything. If I had to describe it, I'd say I was always more mature, but slightly violent with odd thinking at the same time. Some time ago, though I'm not sure exactly when, I started calling it an alternate state, or similar things. There have been slight changes as well, whenever there's a shift, or however I should call it, I'm not as violent (though I can be sometimes), my whole behavior pattern changes (well, that was there before too, but I feel it's changed a bit now) and noticed my taste in things such as music changes a bit as well, in addition to what was before. In the sense of, I would listen to stuff I would normally not listen to, but don't dislike either. Though, I can't say the same for when that change happens. Some songs I normally listen to would then become annoying.

I'm not sure if this happened to Adam too but, he also feel like this... or something like that. His taste of music changed a lot. From game soundtrack to... something to dubstep to drum and bass to rock and metal music. Heh...

He can also feel a little bit of girlish. Not in front of someone though.

Aoki wrote:P.S.: Sorry about it being kind of long.

It's okay.

-Lily

Thanks for replying. ^^
I think I'm starting to get used to being on this forum, that's nice. I can be kinda shy with new people sometimes, haha. Well actually more than just "kinda"... But oh well, can't really do much about that.
So you say he feels like that too? I guess that's nice that I'm not the only one then. I was kinda worried I'd be too different or something, to be honest.

Aoki wrote:Thanks for replying. ^^
I think I'm starting to get used to being on this forum, that's nice. I can be kinda shy with new people sometimes, haha. Well actually more than just "kinda"... But oh well, can't really do much about that.
So you say he feels like that too? I guess that's nice that I'm not the only one then. I was kinda worried I'd be too different or something, to be honest.

Don't worry Aoki Its okay to be shy. I think you are doing great! The best way to deal with shyness is to get out there. If you need anyone to talk to one on one, Don't feel afraid to talk to me. I was quite nervous on my first post too. I kept checking it because I thought people on here would judge me. But they turned out to be pretty cool. Out of 100'000 someone has to be similar to you so it would be impossible to be too different.


Now about the changing in thinking patterns etc. I usually experience that when I try to keep someone inside if that makes sense. Like if I try to keep Mercy in. Eventually she starts affecting how I think in my head.

I'd rather not speak about my traumatic experience openly.... If you want to know it so much... PM me and i'll tell you in the shortest way possible. Because it really upsets me. See you around Aoki!

Toasty wrote:Don't worry Aoki Its okay to be shy. I think you are doing great! The best way to deal with shyness is to get out there. If you need anyone to talk to one on one, Don't feel afraid to talk to me. I was quite nervous on my first post too. I kept checking it because I thought people on here would judge me. But they turned out to be pretty cool. Out of 100'000 someone has to be similar to you so it would be impossible to be too different.


Now about the changing in thinking patterns etc. I usually experience that when I try to keep someone inside if that makes sense. Like if I try to keep Mercy in. Eventually she starts affecting how I think in my head.

I'd rather not speak about my traumatic experience openly.... If you want to know it so much... PM me and i'll tell you in the shortest way possible. Because it really upsets me. See you around Aoki!

Well, it's only sometimes that I get really shy. To the point where I turn bright red and can hardly even say one word, it only happens with people I don't know and stuff though. But then other times I'm not shy at all, and instead am pretty much the exact opposite, even with strangers. It's kinda weird, haha.

I'll definitely talk to you when I want/need to. ^^

It's a scary thing when people judge you despite not really knowing you. It happens to me a lot, so it's kind of a standard for me to expect it. Which isn't a good thing D: but oh well.

Hm...As far as I know, I'm not really trying to keep anything in, other than some of the thoughts I get when, well, that "change" occurs. Since it'd be a little troublesome if I didn't sometimes.

Ah, it's not like I really wanted to know or anything! (Actually, that sounds terribly suspicious, now that I think of it. Just telling you, that was meant seriously.) Even if I did, it's kind of not my business, so yeah.

See you around as well. ^^

Welcome to the forums . Alot of what you said sounds familiar to me . Sometimes the reflection in the mirror just isn't right, but I can't put my finger on HOW it's wrong usually. Really everything you wrote sounds familiar . I'm glad to see you're making friends It's a good group here feel free to ask any questions you need to!

Partial wrote:Welcome to the forums . Alot of what you said sounds familiar to me . Sometimes the reflection in the mirror just isn't right, but I can't put my finger on HOW it's wrong usually. Really everything you wrote sounds familiar . I'm glad to see you're making friends It's a good group here feel free to ask any questions you need to!

Thank you. ^^ I was really uneasy and stuff when I was first going to post, but I think I've pretty much gotten used to it all already. It's a really nice place. Nice to meet you, by the way.
I'm kind of happy to hear I'm not the only one who feels like this. I have a feeling I've written a message similar to this before though... So if I have, please don't mind that, haha.
But either way, it's not always that I wonder about that. Other times, my mirror image seems completely normal. Or rather, I just don't think that kind of stuff, I guess. ^^ So it really just depends on the situation.

I know this is off-topic but... Partial... that avatar... Portal 2? :3

Yep!

Was looking for the one with the stick figure hitting shift alot, or they guy with the giant diamond, but I think I like this one better

Aoki wrote:Hi everyone, I'm new here, so if I make any mistakes, please forgive me.

Lately, I've kind of been getting curious about something. I'm not sure how I should put this, but from what I've seen so far, I think it may be possible (maybe?) that I have DID. I'm not asking you to diagnose me though, I would only like to hear your thoughts on this.

In case I get anyone asking, I did go through some stuff in my childhood, but looking back at it, I don't really think of it as traumatizing (I guess). I know that it was hard to bear with it at the time, but I got through it somehow. Also, since this seems to be important as well, sometimes I look into the mirror and wonder whether that's really me. I always shake it off and go do something else when that happens though.
I'm not sure when this started, but at some point, I noticed certain patterns in my behavior. I don't necessarily have memory black outs or anything, but it's like my whole thinking and all shifts. It's kinda hard to describe this, but it's like it's still me, but not me. I'm generally a very peaceful person, but when these occurrences happened, I noticed a difference in my thinking, typing (because it hadn't happened around others at that point), and overall view on everything. If I had to describe it, I'd say I was always more mature, but slightly violent with odd thinking at the same time. Some time ago, though I'm not sure exactly when, I started calling it an alternate state, or similar things. There have been slight changes as well, whenever there's a shift, or however I should call it, I'm not as violent (though I can be sometimes), my whole behavior pattern changes (well, that was there before too, but I feel it's changed a bit now) and noticed my taste in things such as music changes a bit as well, in addition to what was before. In the sense of, I would listen to stuff I would normally not listen to, but don't dislike either. Though, I can't say the same for when that change happens. Some songs I normally listen to would then become annoying.

Either way, what do you think of this?

P.S.: Sorry about it being kind of long.

Wow. Ya know, you actually sound a LOT like us before we split. Maybe you have whatever we have.

Seriously, Pm us?