T wants to talk to us

Our T wants to have more of a dialogue with some of the littles. She says things like this is a safe place and the littles want to talk to her, that they have a voice and want to be heard. I don’t know if she is trying to trick us into thinking she cares so we will talk to her or if she really wants to help us but I’m scared to go that far with her and take the chance of being hurt. I don’t know if I can trust her enough to let that happen again. I won’t let anyone hurt us again even if they seem to want to help. We have had too many people act like they cared only to hurt us.
Vicky-13

Hi Vicky,

I'm Iain. I'm a teen alter too. We just started with a new T and it was SOOOO hard. We wanted to talk but we were scared. We thought we'd wait until we trusted her but we don't trust people much so we waited and waited and waited and waited. Nothing bad happened but we didn't know what to do. Our T said it was safe but it didn't FEEL safe. No place feels safe to us. We finally made Host promise to protect us if she turned out to be bad and he said he would so we came out. It was OK. But we needed Host to promise.

Be brave,

Iain

We didn't trust out new T the first week either. The second week (after lots of worrying and discussions with our previous T) the kids went along, showed her our toys, played with her toys and just enjoyed being kids. Katy, one of our teens never trusts anyone, but as a group we all feel safe and trust that she is ok.

Is there a way that you can let one of your littles out just for 1 min with an older one standing right behind, ask them to show her a picture they have drawn or something...they don't have to tell their story until they feel comfortable playing and being around her. We feel that it is important for us to all 'just be' around our T, playing, talking about random stuff, what we had for lunch etc. Because her reactions to that, tell us how she will react with other things we tell her. Or maybe you could start by telling her what some of the little ones have done in the week, which programs they have watched, what they have made...then they will hopefully be able to tell from her reaction whether you can trust her.

Final thing - we never let our guard down 100% - there is always someone (at least Katy) keeping an eye out for danger....you can always walk out of the room and never return if things go really wrong. But take things at YOUR pace, in YOUR time, and its you who needs to feel comfortable with things