Friends scared. Controlling alter. Stupid mortal. *TW*

Hello there, I have been wondering if anyone has been through this also... Mercy is affecting my social life in the real world. All my friends seem to be scared of Mercy. And not wanting to be with me in person just in case I "switch" and Mercy comes out. Mercy always taunts them and says rather cruel things to them in order to make them stay away from me and such. How do I deal with this? Its kinda making me sad. I feel like Mercy is controlling my life.

-- Sat Jun 07, 2014 1:13 pm --

Toasty wrote:Hello there, I have been wondering if anyone has been through this also... Mercy is affecting my social life in the real world. All my friends seem to be scared of Mercy. And not wanting to be with me in person just in case I "switch" and Mercy comes out. Mercy always taunts them and says rather cruel things to them in order to make them stay away from me and such. How do I deal with this? Its kinda making me sad. I feel like Mercy is controlling my life.

*trigger warning*
Can I just say. Ekaterina's friends are the ######6 worst. They are mean to each other. Its funny I have to admit. But its getting boring. One of them threatened that they'd remove me from the body if I kept taunting him. Hah. Yeah right. If that #####& didn't want to mess with me. He should of kept his mouth shut. If I meet him in person i'm going to kick his ass. By the way. If you didn't want a god to control your life. You shouldn't exist in the first place. Just let me do all the work. Or you know GET SOME REAL ######6 FRIENDS WHO ARENT ######6 ######6 YOU ######6 IDIOT. I hate you. Thank you everyone on the psychforums for reading this post. Your god mercy appreciates it. Some of the mortals in my body are not the brightest. And need to be reminded of who is in charge.

Haha, Its good to know that the psychforums have common sense. No one replied. I'll take it as i'm the right one in this situation. Ekaterina has gone quite quiet.

I thought about replying, but can't think of anything except things that you've probably already tried (like talking to your friends about the best ways of dealing with Mercy)...

have you tried explaining to your friends that people only act this way when they're very insecure? it doesn't excuse inappropriate comments and actions but aggression and egocentric statements are hallmarks of insecurity, masked by protective behaviour that makes the individual seem untouchable. it also sounds like your friends are potentially acting in ways that are threatening to the system, which could explain why mercy as your protector feels like she has to act this way.

skin wrote:have you tried explaining to your friends that people only act this way when they're very insecure? it doesn't excuse inappropriate comments and actions but aggression and egocentric statements are hallmarks of insecurity, masked by protective behaviour that makes the individual seem untouchable. it also sounds like your friends are potentially acting in ways that are threatening to the system, which could explain why mercy as your protector feels like she has to act this way.

The "friend" threatened to kill me to get rid of me. To cure this "innocent" mind. I will not allow such behavior.

threats of any sort are unacceptable. give these friends information about DID - it sounds like they're scared of losing a friend and aren't able to understand how alters and systems work and the roles each part plays in keeping the whole safe. if they continue to threaten you then i don't think it's healthy to spend time with them. sometimes we maintain unhealthy relationships because it's hard to imagine there are other people who will accept us, but if people in our lives are making us feel bad about ourselves in some way then the best choice is often to choose to find those who can support us and love us, and us them. but they could just be young and worried and ignorant and need you to patiently inform them about why certain people in your system behave.

skin wrote:threats of any sort are unacceptable. give these friends information about DID - it sounds like they're scared of losing a friend and aren't able to understand how alters and systems work and the roles each part plays in keeping the whole safe. if they continue to threaten you then i don't think it's healthy to spend time with them. sometimes we maintain unhealthy relationships because it's hard to imagine there are other people who will accept us, but if people in our lives are making us feel bad about ourselves in some way then the best choice is often to choose to find those who can support us and love us, and us them. but they could just be young and worried and ignorant and need you to patiently inform them about why certain people in your system behave.

You right. I have made the choice for Ekaterina that she will never see this friend again.

fair enough. keep in mind that excluding other parts in decisions can lead to further dissociation because it builds up a lack of trust - suppression and avoidance is one of the biggest contributors to DID crises and ploughing on with choices made by just one part of you can lead to a confused and chaotic life because everyone may try to get their own way by taking control without any kind of system. it may be that not seeing this friend is the best choice for you all, but making that choice with everyone involved or finding compromises to ensure everyone is ok could help you feel less anxious and divided.

like with my situation for example, i'm male and the body is female. most of my parts are male with the original female part pretty embedded and rarely communicable. i came out as transgender and was determined to go through with a full transition, but when i realised there was a good chance i was making a decision that might not involve every part of me, i had to delay or even halt this completely which wasn't easy, and there are some other alters that are pretty pissed off about it. but i can't go ahead without knowing if it's right for all of us, because later on this could really come round to bite us in the ass and leave us very unhappy and confused.