For the teenagers!

Hi Pammie ,

You can use an image hosting site like Imgur to post pictures here . You put them there first and use a link to post them here . If you need some help doing it , you can send me a message and I can explain how to do it . Please keep in mind that photos can't show your face (or other people's) because of the forum privacy policy .

New

CatCat,

Today we used embossing powder on the wand and OMG it was so cool it makes them look like metal. I did the handle in gold and it looks so cool. My T is the best. We share our bible with her a lot(BTW... it is a bible that we use for art journaling. It has helped so much because for us religion was so very twisted. Angelina made a card for Mr. Lee ( I don't really know who he is but he works at where we go to T and group.
I am getting a phone that has a camera in it so we can text our friends from group, and make it easier to find us in a store...LOL
Sun wrote me about imajur I think, but I can figure it out and if I need help I will let them know. I know I can't put pictures of people, but my crafts and maybe my dog.
I wish we could all get together and make stuff, but I will try to share as much as I can to give ideas. If you are afraid of creative things (the boys were) color. I use gel pens at first with colored pencils, but I don't color much anymore as I have so many things to play with.
I really like sewing and I won't let anyone throw out clothes cuz well it's material. I also like recycle art. I made amish toothbrush rugs last year and that was fun but takes forever. I want to eventually learn to quilt. I made the cool xmas ornaments that looked quilted . well I should stop cuz I am taking up the whole space.
-Pammie

Hi Pammie,

Oh wow, I just looked up embossing powder cos I didn't know what it was and it does look soooo cool and sparkly. I would really like to see your wand and the other stuff and I hope you can figure our Imgur like Sun said. Yeah, I wish we could all craft together too. I get fed up of being on my own and it would be fun. But I'm happy we can share here. I like your sewing and recycling ideas. I really like how patchwork looks but I don't like sewing that much cos it's so fiddly and I always poke myself with the needle. I used to try and darn my pointe shoes but it was SO HARD. So I paid someone else to do it!

It's good that you can share your art journalling bible with your T. I don't know that much about religion but it sounds like you've got a good way of figuring it out with her. My T is good at helping me figure out stuff that got mixed up too, but there's still a lot of mixed up stuff to sort out I guess. I started writing a diary too and taking it for her to read cos I think that helps me figure stuff out.

I did do some colouring when I first started coming out front again, but then I got really down on myself for not doing it right, even though there isn't a really a right way of doing it and it doesn't really matter if you mess it up. My T says I'm too hard on myself, but to me it seems like I'm doing things like, quite badly and just being realistic about it! But I'm going to keep trying. I took my mosaic stuff to my T's place today and we're going to have a go at making some patterns tomorrow even though I'm kind of scared about it.

That's cool about you getting a phone with a camera! I can use K's phone but I'd like my own one. I don't really have anyone I can text though, I guess... But maybe one day!
I feel like you don't need to worry about taking up the space cos we have this whooooolee biiiig spaaacce just for us teens here! And I like hearing what you're up to.

Cat.

Hey CatCat,

My fingertips get poked and burned a lot because I like to sew little things by hand and I always seem to burn myself with the hot glue gun. T always asks if I want her to do the glue, but I like to do it myself and I think it is just a small price to pay for doing it myself. It is funny because every time I get hot glue on me, I say hot hot then laugh and roll the glue into a little ball. T always asks if I am ok to which I say yeah.
As for the phone, we are waiting for a sim card because the one that came with the phone was damaged. I can't wait to text people in my group, they are old ladies, but they are really cool and accept Angelina who is 4 and even the boys (varying ages). Because it is not a DID group it had to be explained when Angelina showed up. The leader of the group gave her a stuffed dog for being brave to come out and join group. They don't even care and always say they love all of me's. Angelina is so brave and she makes people smile.
I don't know where you live but we are in western PA and it is cold and there is lots of snow. Snow is pretty, but I went out with the dogs to play and discovered it's looking pretty is all it is good for. It is sooooo..... cold outside. I hope you are warm.
Well, not much else to say. How did the mosaic go?

Hi Pammie!

I didn't even get to try out the mosaic stuff because the body got sick and so we couldn't go and see our T again, we just had to talk to her on the phone. So I'm kind of annoyed about that and I don't like it when the body gets sick because a lot of bad stuff happened to us around being ill. I didn't want to deal with feeling sick because I get freaked out so I stayed inside the whole time and let K deal with it. But I think the body is a bit better now and I was missing chatting on here!

Yeah, I get why you would want to do the hot glue yourself even if you got a bit burned! I would want to do it myself too. I don't mind using hot glue so much, just sewing makes me get really frustrated and then poking my fingers seems extra annoying!

Did you get your sim card yet? That's cool that you're going to be able to text your friends from group even if they are old ladies. Old ladies can be fun too and especially if they are really accepting like that and you and Angelina and the boys can all go there. Super nice of your group leader to give Angelina a toy dog too. R would like that. She's 3 and she always wants to go and play with people but she can't and she gets sad about it. She used to be kind of a pain cos she cried the whole time, but now she's pretty cute and funny sometimes (and still sometimes annoying!)

We live in the UK, so it's still cold but not like super cold and mostly it just rains. I don't think we had any snow at all this year. Is PA Pennsylvania (like in America?)? I'm not very good at geography so I'm still not really sure where that is lol! Yeah, snow can be fun like for a little while and then it's just too cold! I don't really like the cold at all.

I hope we can try again with the mosaic stuff with our T on Wednesday. I got some little boards so we can make drinks coasters to try out how to do it, and K said I can buy a bit more stuff, like different tiles and bigger boards if I want cos we've got a bit more money than usual this month for some reason. She said not to worry cos I usually feel guilty about buying stuff but this time I don't need to. So that's pretty cool!

Cat.

CatCat,

I haven't got my sim card yet, but it says it will be here by 9pm tomorrow.
PA is in the United States. I have only been out of the country a few times but that was to Canada when we had summer vacations with the family and my dad loved to drive.
I always wanted to ride the eye that is in the UK.
We got more money this month too, it was a cost of living thing.
I really don't have much to say, but tomorrow is T day.

I would really like to see your mosaics they sound cool. I hope the body is feeling better.
I will see ya later
-Pammie

Hi Pammie,

Oh that's exciting I hope your sim card arrived by now!
Yeah that's the London eye I think. I've seen it and it looks cool. It's right by the river Thames and I'd like to go on it too but I never have. There are other eyes in other places too, like in Brighton I think, but the London one is the biggest. I haven't really been out of the country much either but I'd like to. There's really a lot of stuff I've never seen.

I hope you had a good session with your T! Did you finish your wands already? I have my T tomorrow too so hopefully we can try out mosaic stuff and I'll definitely figure out how to post a picture when it's finished! I don't really have that much news today either - it's kind of been a boring day lol!

Cat.

Hi,

Ok, so it's quiet here and I'm replying to myself but I just want to kind of vent a little bit.

Things have been kind of rubbish with my T and she is NOT in my good books right now. We had five weeks in a row where our sessions kept getting moved onto the phone because she got sick or her family did or we did, and like I get that. But there were two weeks in a row where she totally cancelled one of my sessions without any warning and she only told K, she didn't tell me. Even though they were MY sessions. And after the first time K told her I was upset about that and she said she'd remember to tell me and not just K if it happened again. But it did happen again and she did NOT remember. And she didn't check up on me to see if I was ok after she cancelled my sessions (even though she did check how K and R were doing and talk to them on the phone over the weekend) it was like she just totally forgot me and didn't care about me, even though she keeps saying that she does. AND she really upset R twice because she didn't listen to her properly and understand what she was trying to say. Which isn't fair because R's only three and she was really crying a lot and she got really scared and couldn't sleep and stuff.

So then I felt like our T just joined in with all the other useless hypocrite adults who said they were going to care about me but then forgot about me and left me on my own for hours and and hours and years and years and then blamed me and said I was spoilt if I complained or anything. Not that she really did that part, I guess, but I felt bad and spoilt for being angry when she was sick.

So anyway I refused to go to my sessions this week cos I kind of wanted her to know how it felt to be left and not know if the other person was going to come back, but that didn't really work because K went instead of me... So I emailed her and explained and she has said sorry so I think I'm kind of starting to forgive her, but I don't really know how to forgive her and go back there. And if I do then I'm just giving her the power to hurt me again and I don't want to do that because I don't want to give anyone the power to hurt me again. Except that I hate being on my own as well and that really hurts a lot and I want to not be on my own, but if you get to know someone it's like you start to need them and want them to be there and that's not ok because their only going to let you down... And like, if I think of forgiving our T I feel really hurt inside and like... weak, like I just want to cry and have her hug me and that would be kind of pathetic, right? Cos I'm 13, I'm not a baby.

Ugh. I feel really stupid for being in this mess!

Anyway, thanks for reading, if you did! Cat.

hi Cat

sorry your T upset you like that. we get it, our T has done stuff that makes us upset too.

i actuallyy did a session with her today (video online stuff not inperson) and she never asked who i was or who we were or stuff. like Em's told her a few times we want to be seen & treated like individuals cos thats what we are but she forgets like all thetime.

except i might not have told her my name if she asked because i'm not sure i actually want her to know who i am. but still, she should have noticed she was talking to somebody different. especially when i say something like "viola this, Em that, ciara this, teg that" like i just talked about everyone else so who's here? but she either doesn't catch on or intentionally ignores that kind of thing. and it makes us wonder if she even notices, like is she that clueless that she cant tell she's talking to someone else or does she just not care enough about us?

anyways yeah we get what you're saying & we hope you can work stuff out with your T so things get better.

I drove our car today for the first time and it was ok! our *how to drive the car* skill is one of those shared ones, almost all of us can plug into it and use it. idk if Teg can, maybe theres like an age cutoff or something. but Ciara can too, she drove us home from therapy a few times when we were inperson. anyways so I drove today cos we needed to buy food so i went out and i got the food and drove us home. that was after i did the therapy. idk if i want to do this stuff all the time, probably not. but its neat to do it once anyways.

bye for now!

Vanessa

Hi,
Thanks Vanessa. It's cool that somebody gets it. Even though it really sucks that your T upsets you too. I remember you saying that you didn't ever want to see her cos of how she treated Ciara and stuff, so I think it was brave of you to go. But super weird and annoying that she didn't even notice it was someone she hadn't talked to before even when you talked about everyone else... Like, who did she think she was talking to?! I get why you would sort of not want her to notice too, but I'd still get really annoyed if she didn't! Yeah, that kind of sucks... It sounds like maybe she doesn't totally understand about dissociative stuff. I hope it gets better for you all too.

I spoke to our T on the phone and she kind of explained that she wasn't quite herself because she's got an Eastern European background and she's upset about... I don't know if it's ok to talk about that because I guess it could be triggering... but like, current events. So she's been going to protests and stuff and not been around as much and not been as good at thinking about what we might need. I told her that I didn't know if I could go back and see her cos I don't want to ever feel like I need anyone again cos it just means that I'll get hurt and she was nice and I think she understood. I said I kind of wanted to go back but I don't know how, and she said if I go next time we can just watch Dance Moms for one session if that helps me to go back, cos I kind of like watching Dance Moms lol!

That's so cool that you can drive! None of us have ever learned so I guess I can't and I better not try cos it would be a disaster lol! I get why you might not want to do it all the time but it's good that you can cos it means you can do independent stuff if you want and get food if you want, or just anything! I hope we can learn one day too.

Cat.