The Host Word

Hi,

We've been thinking about the word 'Host'. We use it because we found it in a book about MPD years ago. It's an old word and we're not sure it's any good anymore. 'Host' sounds like we're 'guests' in his house. Or if he's the Host are we the Viruses? We need a new word. We're thinking about Manager since he manages stuff. Our T calls him our Coordinator which sounds fancy and he likes it but also sounds kind of weird. He's not the Boss but he does make lots of decisions. But he doesn't do it by himself. We live with him and he's got THE NAME and he's a nice guy to us - just we don't want him to be the 'Host' anymore.

Any ideas? What do you call your 'Host' kind of person?

Iain

What if you call him by a name? Any he feels comfortable about. Maybe a different one than the legal name? Or the legal if you are all comfortable with.

We don't like it at all either. It sounds like we're parasites, you know? Or possessing demons or some $#%^
Now, I think anyone who like it can freely use the word, whatever, not my business in the least, but yeah... "manager" was a good suggestion. "No-nonsense" (I had to look this word up ) type of word! Or businesslike or so.
Our... let's say manager prefers (or preferred) to be called "world", but maybe that's a bit dumb too. Sounds kinda pompous. Some of us used to say "control freak" or "boss" or something like that jokingly
TL;DR (seriously?!): I'm all in for the word "manager"!

-Blueberry (or just Blue)

(I just have to add, that I don't think it's a "dumb" or "pompous" way to call me/us. But I agree, that it's a very personal word, even a personal concept, which we should keep to ourselves. I have only mentioned it here a few times in lack of a better word, which I'd be comfortable with. -manager?)

Hi Blue,

How about calling him Head Demon?

No really, thanks for replying. I'm going to try Manager because that's what he does. You're also right he's kind of a control freak like he's Super-parent or something. He's always worried about stuff. Is yours that way too? He takes good care of us though. I'm just tired of people thinking he's all of us when really he's just a part of us. Our ex T was like super bad about talking like he mattered more than the rest of us. Our new T is lots better.

Hi light blue. I don't know your name.

Iain

IainEtc wrote:He's always worried about stuff. Is yours that way too? He takes good care of us though.

She keeps things together. I understand that, even if I'm just a little (or so they say, but sometimes I feel much older). I maybe understand it the best of us. I also keep myself together. I'm like chaos but can look very calm. I'm like miniature manager myself!
Manager asked to say sorry for Blue. Blue is in bouncy mood and comes and goes all the time.

IainEtc wrote:I'm just tired of people thinking he's all of us when really he's just a part of us. Our ex T was like super bad about talking like he mattered more than the rest of us. Our new T is lots better.

Our manager thinks that she is all of us. But I think she is very empty, like a filter between inner world and outer world. She just manages, that's all she does, and she wants to think that she's everything to not feel empty. For example, someone asked her what is her favourite animal, and she just said "giraffe" because a little time ago one of us had a giraffe-obsession. They didn't ask "why giraffe?", but if they would, she wouldn't know why! She couldn't say even one reason.
The light blue (she calls it turquoise) is the manager. She can also see everything I write now and said she doesn't agree about everything, but she still let me write it, 'cause somehow she agrees. (I don't have a name, I think I should have, but I'm very very picky)

I'm called different things by my group. Some littles call me mommy but that's because my so decided he would be like a daddy to them. Others call me by the body's name, some by my name, some by nicknames. Only reason I am ever referred to as host or leader is to clarify that I'm the one usually coordinating outer affairs and acting basically as ambassador for my people. There's also calling me the captain of the team. A couple of the boys thought of that one a couple sessions ago. I think I have it easy enough with my T because he calls us by our own names. He mixes it up but he just apologizes and jokes that he needs some new glasses so he can see us all better. Makes the tater tots giggle every time. I wish you all could have such an amazing T. He seems to understand that we all feel as real as the next person even if he can't see us all. He isn't very familiar with did but he tries and his approach of trying to guide us through our individual issues seems to work quite well. Don't know if that's how it works elsewhere but it works for us. Some disappeared into each other after they were happy for a while. I guess that's integration(never really said much to my T except that they went away and I still haven't seen em around again). Anyways I don't think I was really helpful here especially since everyone decided to start talking about this at once and its starting to give me a headache and I'm sure I got away from whatever I really wanted to say.

-- May 26th, 2014, 5:16 am --

Also the tater tots(littles if you prefer) wanted me to tell blueberry that they are happy your a muffin now. They're silly little things.

lindi wrote:We don't like it at all either. It sounds like we're parasites, you know? Or possessing demons or some $#%^
Now, I think anyone who like it can freely use the word, whatever, not my business in the least, but yeah... "manager" was a good suggestion. "No-nonsense" (I had to look this word up ) type of word! Or businesslike or so.
Our... let's say manager prefers (or preferred) to be called "world", but maybe that's a bit dumb too. Sounds kinda pompous. Some of us used to say "control freak" or "boss" or something like that jokingly
TL;DR (seriously?!): I'm all in for the word "manager"!

-Blueberry (or just Blue)

(I just have to add, that I don't think it's a "dumb" or "pompous" way to call me/us. But I agree, that it's a very personal word, even a personal concept, which we should keep to ourselves. I have only mentioned it here a few times in lack of a better word, which I'd be comfortable with. -manager?)

Hahaha, A religious asshole once thought I was a demon. Controlling the body, She tried some religious things to try and remove the "evil soul" from the body. I was standing there laughing at how ridiculous she was. Someone can't remove a god like me easily. If she knew better she would be on her knees, bowing down to her true god. Thank you for posting this. It brought good memories back. I usually call the host in this body her name. Upon hearing my voice she says "mercy" hahaha. I love my name.

We all call each other by name in my System, but my other alters recognize me as a special kind of alter we are all comfortable referring to as "host." To us this means I am what is left of the original "Hershey bar" after each of them were broken off in traumatic dissociations. But then I am not the manager of my System. There is a another alter who performs executive function as Inner Self Helper (ISH). We all call him "Ish."

We're all comfortable with the word Host. It does not sound like an insult to the others, or so they told me. Manager wouldn't be correct in my case, the one who keeps things together mostly is Marvolo. It's still an interesting name. Sometimes we also use 'main' because I'm in control most often. I think that's the name I would personally choose. I've also seen 'fronter' quite often in this forum but as everyone of us fronts now and then I can't really use that.

I think it just depends on the system, whether you're co-conscious or not, how many people are there and how the relationships are between everyone... I can understand that some would be insulted by the word host..

I feel the word "host" fits me. I am not the most managerial alter in my system and until a few years ago I was a typical host, "unaware" of (or in denial about) the reality of my life as a multiple. I prefer "host" over two other labels for my role: "front" and "facade".