Hello,
I wanted to say that I have been coming to this website a long time. It has helped me understand my mental state in so many ways. I am not the type of person to share, but here it goes.
I first suspected I had DID about a year ago, I started practicing mindfulness meditation, and I really started listening to the odd dialog that has always been present in my mind.
I had been diagnosed with bipolar some years prior, even then going through all that I knew there was something else going on, that I could never explain to my therapists.
It was very frightening when I first became aware that the "noise" in my head, was others talking to me or each other. I became aware of my protective alter, it was very comforting, but there was some other very abusive ones that came out as well. I couldn't handle it at the time and the host at the time split (I believe they call it that), the memory of all that discovery faded away.
Some months passed and I experienced a traumatic experience. I was seeing a therapist at the time, luckily, as well as trying to sort my life out by getting back into school.
That's when some of the abusive alters and others started to came out and say things to some of my friends. I was unaware of losing those short times, when they would say something inappropriate, but I saw the after affects. I was too afraid to ask my friends what they were talking about, I had said nothing offensive.
These past months working all this through with a therapist and sorting out the situation has been very difficult and eye opening. I feel like I am finally experiencing and understanding the life I thought I knew.
I have met a lot of the alters and we are working on getting things sorted out as difficult as it has been. I will be seeing a psychologist these next weeks to be diagnosed, but I know now that there is not much else that could be causing these things.
I don't have many questions, because this DID forum and its history has already been so helpful. I would like to post, maybe some specific questions and the like when I have been diagnosed, and I map things out more clearly.
I guess I am pretty stubborn in asking for support through this experience, as I am being reminded to say this, but I hope I can find some of that here, if you will have me.
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