No Use

My fear is not important.

Kyttin wrote:My fear is not important.

They are, that's why I'm asking.

-- Sun May 18, 2014 5:04 pm --

You don't need to feel alone in something. you know? You can share them, and we can understand them together, if you want.

I have a friend, she's a female alter in a male body. She also has the same fear as you do.

Sea

I guess I am afraid of people finding out about us outside this site. I have tried to conceal us from people finding out for a long time. That is starting to come undone and I am scared of that. It is our secret, no one needs to know. I am also afraid that once my host has her life back in order that she will not need us and we will fade away. We become figments of her imagination instead of real people like we are. It is awkward as it is to be in a girl's body but they would not believe that I am in here so that is not a worry. I do get confused sometimes about that.

-- Sun May 18, 2014 2:22 pm --

I am so sorry. I should not have said that. It is sinful to share selfish fears like that. I do apologize for my actions.

Oh, I see.

It is true, no one needs what you don't want to reveal. Have you thought that maybe in the past it was necessary that no one knew about it, but maybe now things might have changed? Have you thought what could be the worst thing if some of your friends find out? And what could be the best things?

My friend is also afraid of the same thing. She says she doesn't want to disappear. I've thought about it, and I don't really know what to say. But you know what I've seen reading posts here? That systems who work together as a team, they understand the importance of each other, because it's everyone's lives. And they take time for each others' likes and hobbies. So maybe, you can share your fears with Rachel, have you tried that?

In my friend's case, her host is trying to enroll in a make up course. She's a really good make up artists and want to explore her likes in that course.

Something else I say my friend, is that she'll never disappear. She's an important part of themselves, everyone is, for that reason, no one will ever disappear.

You know what else? You could find another job for you to do. Maybe helping with work? Or reading interesting stuff to ease the stress for everyone?

Being in a different body than you feel it's a little weird. My friend recently protested because her host shaved his head, and she thought she looked ugly. But then again, when everyone talk in the system, you can make arrangement, and find things you're also comfortable with. I told her than many women look really pretty with their heads shaved, and it's an act of bravery. Not many do it. So she's feeling a bit better.

I hope you get to feel better too Gary, and your find a nice agreement with the rest in your system.

Take care.

Sea

thank you for replying. No I have not brought it up to Rachael yet. I guess I should, but I am afraid of what she will say to that. Sadly we do not work either, so there is no helping there. I do not understand that we will not disappear. I have not read much on DID. So I do not understand. I think I should not be so worried, but I am.

David - First off, as for you fear, it's something i myself have and would find hard to believe if there weren't lots of others out there with the exact same fear. We are often told as children (or at least the host being a child) that we should be proud of who we are, and to be who we are. Yet it seems not long after to be told to conform to society which can really add some confusion. It is something to work through and decide with the help of any family and friends when and if you should come out. I'm personally dealing with a 9yo girl alter that has recently surfaced and has turned my mind upside down a bit.

As for what you are useful or good for, as it was said you seem intelligent and actually like studying. That seems like a great place to be, especially if the host or others would like to go to college, they'll need someone like you to help them out, most likely. Also read up more on DID, it will likely help not just you but the entire system. Lastly, never stop learning and there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying "i don't know" and going to research the answer. You're smart and enjoy learning it seems anything and everything. There is a difference between not needing you currently and not needing you at all

Kyttin wrote:I am so sorry. I should not have said that. It is sinful to share selfish fears like that. I do apologize for my actions.

Hey, don't apologize for feeling. Not sinful at all to share how you're feeling. Plus I asked you to.

Kyttin wrote:thank you for replying. No I have not brought it up to Rachael yet. I guess I should, but I am afraid of what she will say to that. Sadly we do not work either, so there is no helping there. I do not understand that we will not disappear. I have not read much on DID. So I do not understand. I think I should not be so worried, but I am.

It's normal that you're worried, it concerns you. Maybe you can help Rachael finding a job, or reading more into DID.

Your worries are completely normal. Many people with DID do have them.

Take Care Gary.

Thanks for sharing your fears.

Sea

You are welcome? Thank you for listening. I will try what you have suggested.

- Gary

Chessplayer wrote:

Kyttin wrote:I feel like I should have a purpose because I do not know what I can do in my free time when I am out. There is nothing I find more interesting than reading textbooks. I am a scholar and that is all I like to do. I do not know what else to do.

-Gary

*Shrugs* Then just keep doing what normally do. Knowledge is power.

OH MY LEVI!!! We need to talk. Oh and Gary, Everyone has a purpose. I hope you find yours. I'd post more but Marisa keeps making me laugh. And i'm having my really powerful emotion moments again. I'll post again when I feel better.