Memories

T.A. Anderson wrote:

Snuffthroostr wrote: The kind that you KNOW you never knew!

Yes, you are on to it. The mistaken belief that you are recalling something, often seemingly trivial, for the very first time. Not a good sign.

What exactly is not a good sign? I don't follow

forever21 wrote: What exactly is not a good sign? I don't follow

Yes, I can see how that requires some explanation, and bad vs. good is very much dependent upon one's perspective. Not a good sign in the sense that it is a sign that something bad happened and that you are repressing your memory of it. Pieces of the puzzles have started to trickle in.

I have never recovered a memory in the stereotypical way, i.e. a full memory that I'd never known pops up out of nowhere. But I have had a few where I remembered and was like "oh yeah, I remember that happening now." It was never anything like direct confirmation of abuse, though. The most vivid one I can think of was a series of incidents of covert incest: my father slept with me in my bed several times when I was a little girl. I don't believe anything untoward happened, but I do think it was inappropriate behavior. I didn't remember it happening until high school.

I have one suspicious "black hole" in my memory, and I think there may be a repressed memory there, though obviously I can't be certain. My family took a short trip to a lake resort when I was seven or eight. I have a few snapshot memories of it, but I never associated them with the trip. In fact, I'd forgotten the trip completely until a few years ago. I thought the memories I had from it were when I was four or five, not seven or eight, since I had no recollection of where they were from.

Anyway, according to my mother and sister, my father lost his wallet on this trip and got very stressed and angry. He is very, very volatile when something as stressful as that happens. I'm sure he expressed it in some way -- but I can't remember it at all. I can't remember him losing his wallet. I can't remember what happened afterwards. And I would most likely have been old enough to remember, since my sister remembers and she was five at the time. I don't know. It's very confusing, and I don't want to say that it's definitely a repressed memory. Just a suspicious amnesia for something that I should probably remember.

If the memories weren't bad enough . . . now we have institutionalized gaslighting.

. . . I'm starting here but I ain't stopping here.

Most of these false memory "experts" are also "experts" in hypnosis. You can't have an understanding of hypnosis without having a great appreciation for the rich inner life of subconscious thought. Sort of like compartmentalization. Understanding hypnosis and not believing in repression is like being a geologist and not believing in rock formations.

Their fallback position that all autobiographic memory is fanciful is equally absurd. We will dissect that next if we must. Give it up. Repression occurs. Child abuse even in otherwise healthy families occurs. There is a solution. Acceptance on all sides, followed by forgiveness.

Yes child abuse does cause some to go crazy as adults. If the repression isn't bad enough, next comes the gaslighting when the memories begin to return.
http://www.jacquidillon.org/tag/dissociation/

I like your parody T.A.

Today I had a Sybil moment after recalling a memory I've always had. I've denied that I've been anything like Sybil until recently it became undeniable. Apparently it was painful for an aspect I call Dais to recall and in doing so, she ran from the room and hid under the blanket. Another aspect, Jodi, took over and apologized for the histrionics and we-I went on about my day. I am thinking this is am example of me recovering a memory. Although I have always had it I've not been in touch with the intense feelings associated with it until this morning. Am I correct?

As I started to heal, or after several years of healing, memories would appear! they would appear instantly!

For example; Im riding my bike, its a sunny day, and Im thinking about the lake vacation as a kid! the water, the drawing! and the cans I collected for money. Then it hit me! These memories had been buried since childhood. They were simply upon me! I was thinking about them and feeling them, then startled because these are the repressed memories.

They just show up and you realize your thinking about them! its an amazing experience if you are working through DD...

-- Sun May 25, 2014 4:09 pm --

As I started to heal, or after several years of healing, memories would appear! they would appear instantly!

For example; Im riding my bike, its a sunny day, and Im thinking about the lake vacation as a kid! the water, the drawing! and the cans I collected for money. Then it hit me! These memories had been buried since childhood. They were simply upon me! I was thinking about them and feeling them, then startled because these are the repressed memories.

They just show up and you realize your thinking about them! its an amazing experience if you are working through DD...

forever21 wrote:Although I have always had it I've not been in touch with the intense feelings associated with it until this morning. Am I correct?

Perhaps you are explaining something similar to what I will call my reframed memories. Rather than being denied retrieval to the entire memory, I was allowed access to the memory but only because I was able to interpret the memory as something other than what it truly was. Maybe for the benefit of the Phony False Memory experts we should call this reverse confabulation. This is similar to the semi-hypothetical I described as an encounter at the mall, but this is not a memory of an event that occurred during my amnesia, and instead this is a memory of an event that took place before my amnesia. I could recall having gone to pay an old lost friend a visit, but during the time of my amnesia I was denied access to the details of the event. What forgot was that this visit was not friendly.

As omnicell says, the process of repressing and then recovering is one of incredible enlightenment. No one gets to "know thyself," and to some extent others, better than the DD.

So how frickin ridiculous is it that we have memory "experts" giving talks and providing testimony about repression? The experts are us, not them. They are the idiots. They can't even wrap their minds around the concept of repression.

My psychologist friends might have been overly kind in describing their brethren as attempting to spare humanity pain by denying memories of bad things. Perhaps their primary interest is in sparing themselves pain, and not others.

A memorial day tribute to some of the living and dead who still believe in memory, and believe in you. They believe in the human metaphoric soul within all of us. They seek to inform, awaken, and enlighten.