Intro & What to do with a deviant?

Hey there everyone,

I'm new here and figured I'd post an intro and ask what you guys thought. I'm Akira and here is a run-down of our system.

[*]Trigger Warning[*] - Just being safe.

Akira (Host) 19 Female - I am not the "original". I believe everyone in the system is aware of this fact and no one has so far opposed it. I have taken over as the original has not been seen in over three years now.

Devyn (Co-Host & Other) 23 Male - While Devyn is the Co-Host, he is also a major problem in the system. He is often in psychotic fits when present which causes the entire system to become in a similar state. Devyn acts outwards in a violent and sexual manner.

Deklan (Gate Keeper) 23 Male - Deklan typically keeps Devyn and, on occasion, I in line. He is a man of few words but bigger actiions.

Zianna (Child) 12 Female - Zianna is the second to be inflicted by Devyn's madness, aside from me. She is a very loving girl, at times soft spoken and extremely optimistic. If Devyn's emotions are present she become very manic and outwardly violent as well.

Haien AKA The Nightmare Keeper (Unknown) - Male - Haien's role is currently unknown due to his lack of input or involvement so he is seen as a neutral party.

Wraith (Embodiment of Rage) 28 Female - Title is self explanatory. She rarely shows herself but is often heard.



Our Safe Place - It is a solid white room, padded, with no windows or doors. Devyn is constantly held up in the room. Never really leaving. I, Akira, often stay with him there. Deklan usually doesn't enter unless the system is in a state of crisis. Thus he remains outside and watches. Zianna is often whining about not being able to enter the room or is off playing. We feel it's no place for a child. Haien is usually sitting on top of the room. Think of a giant white box, that's how it looks from the outside. Wraith comes and goes as she pleases.


So, with a little insight, I was hoping someone would be willing to offer their input on my questions.

1. While Devyn shrugs it off as her being dead, We have never truly came to a consensus on what happened to the "original". She faded off years ago. We can certainly function without her but it leaves a sense of loss hanging around. Not to mention curiosity. Have you ever been in this situation? Is there a way to "find" them? Also, the others may not have this problem, but I frequently feel like I don't belong to this body because it doesn't feel like mine to start with.

2. Devyn's violence is mildly controlled but his sexual deviancy is not. Having a female body offers a lot of possible negative outcomes. Is there any way to prevent this? I can't seem to become conscious until half way through or after which does little good by that time.

Well, thank you for reading all that.

Akira We have the same name haha. But Armen likes to call me Leiss

Please excuse Akira for that. I believe in her excitement of finding somebody with that name, she failed to realize you had a problem. It is odd, she is usually very willing to help. As for your question: I have experienced the stated feeling that the body is not mine. I only assume it is normal, because I am not the host. I would imagine the others feel this too, although it seems they do not pay attention enough to feel it, because they have never made mention of it before. But like I said, I recognize that feeling. The itching thought that, no matter what, you can not be fully in control. It saddens me greatly knowing that I can not make our life better by my own means...

First of all, welcome here ^^ I'm Yuki.

Secondly, while I can't answer all your questions I can give some insight on a few.
We have never dealt with the original fading, but many alters have faded and some systems seem to perceive the original as just another alter too... As all alters are created by and in the same mind, I don't think any can fade completely. I have witnessed an alter being brought back to the system after 'death.' However, you have to think of the possibility of that there may be a reason why the original faded, and that it may not be a good idea to try and bring her back. Maybe she also doesn't want to be brought back.

thirdly, I totally get the sense of the body not being your own and not feeling like you belong... I have it less than Marvolo does though, as I am sort of a younger version of Hiki -the host- and he is both of a different sex and age. It seems to be a regular thing, and he certainly sees taking over as merely 'borrowing' her body.

I'm not sure what you could do with controlling sexual deviancy. I guess it would depend on his relationship to all of you. I have been very violent towards Hiki before and she locked me up and supressed me and that was quite effective for large periods of times because I couldn't take over and harm her. If that's not an option, as you mentioned the possible negative outcome with having a female body.. try to make him become very aware of that there could be negative outcomes? Try to hammer the importance of contraception or something in him? -at least I think you meant pregnancy-

hope that was a bit helpful ^^

We are exhausted, so will keep this short.

1. The 'original' is controversial. ninchen was the original, but has now integrated. She was who I used to be. So I am the original? Not sure. Regardless, I was unable to host/front for most of our lives due to extreme social anxiety/PTSD/MDD/etc. Ever since my mental illnesses were adequately medicated (finally!) at 24 I have been able to front much of the time. Though the others often do as well (by the way, the medication that has helped me has not helped Jane's depression; it has helped Aiden's OCD; it has not affected Sonja at all).

*TW*

2. I assume you're talking about SSI… Niva used to do that to the littles It was awful. In our case it helped for me to focus on staying present, in the body, when niva was out, fronting, so as to minimize the chances of the little ones being triggered out. It was a process, not easy. I learned to not be intimidated by her. When Devyn is doing that stuff, do you know who is in the body?

Feel free to ask questions .