Too many options

So, recently we have decided we're going to finally complete our education.
But it appears that we have to choose a direction sooner than we thought.
We have so many things that we would do varying from psychologist to music teacher to fashion designer, etc many many options. How do we decide which one is the real choice? Everyone has at least one thing they like, and everyone has at least one thing they dislike (to say the least) about the thing that the others like. It's even difficult to distinguish whether it's my own fantasy or my 'filling in' for a certain alter what they would like based on their known profile, or if it's really their choice, for some alters. The longer we think about this problem, the more options we get. Yesterday someone inside said we should become a dentist, I've never before even thought about something similar but it's equally (un)appealing to becoming a nurse or a cook, and options just keep piling up like this. So instead of narrowing the field we're only making the problem bigger. We have maybe a month left to think about it but this has been a problem for years so I seriously doubt we would finally compromise in only a month (and compromise wouldn't exactly spell happiness or satisfaction). I've done a test which was supposed to help me figure it out, but the test results said that there were 10 or 12 equally appealing directions so that doesn't help much either.
My therapist keeps saying we should go for the logical choice but she doesn't know me all that well and she doesn't even realize that music isn't really my logical choice, psychology would sooner be, but we don't necessarily want to become a psychologist. The thought of sitting with patients would seriously bore and frustrate some of us so it's not like I can just ignore objections like these. It's not like any of the things stand out against the other. I've tried to compare and see if one specific direction is named more than once, there's like 2 people who like psychology, but even if that's true, I can't ignore the 4 people who don't like it. There's also 2 people who like agrarian things, 2 people who like to become a cook, 2 who like to become a scientist or programmer, 2 who like to be a nurse or something in that field, and there's even more options than the ones now named, but for every one of those directions there's also legitimate objections. Sigh.

How did you figure it out, or was it more like you've already made a choice before you became aware of the others? I don't want to have come this far in my growing process only to stagnate again. Regarding the education it's a 'now or never' thing cause we're getting old.

Have you considered being a researcher within psychology? Some fields are very close to other disciplines, for example biological psychology and biology.

Psychology is a science (I get it may not be the one you want - I wouldn't want to do physics) but even beyond biological psychology there are experiments with scientific method.

Just a thought.

Hi TheCollective,

I don't have DID, but I went through something similar when I was picking my career choice. I'll share you my story, and maybe you will have more arguments to make yours.

I liked everything! From engineering, to social sciences such as sociology, to pure sciences such as physics and math, and really liked sports, the taking care of the environment, making a positive impact on people's lives.

I had gone through high school thinking I'm gonna be a doctor, a pediatrician, and in senior year, I changed my mind. And I was clueless.

I ended up choosing a industrial engineering. I was good with numbers, but I wanted to work with people, and I wanted to make a living. At the end of my college studies, I took some elective subjects in human sciences and that was a turning point for me. That's what I wanted to do, I wanted to change the world.

Through my work, I began choosing projects that would involved many of the things that I liked: Social work, environmental projects, and have applied what I learnt in university. I've run into arts projects which awoke in me another important fiber, and have loved it. I've worked with people in many areas, all so different. I about many topics, but I'm not specialized in any, yet.

I have thought many times about going back to school and study medicine.

I'm thinking about continuing my education and new topics come to mind: psychology? well being?

What I took into account to make my decision at the beginning was: what was I good at? what would I love to be doing in a future? can I make a living out of it?

What I would suggest now: Think about what you wanna be doing daily? Where do you wanna do it? Are you good at any of those or can you find where to learn it? And can you figure out a way to make a living out of it?

And complement your career choice with hobbies, volunteer work, and alternative projects. So you can choose a career, that maybe a majority in your system agrees; but in addition, make parallel projects on things others in your system really enjoy.

I do believe that many career choices might lead you to same paths. Some companies choose not on your career but on your personality type, or your abilities. However, it's true there are some things you cannot do without the proper preparation such as making a surgery, or treating a person with DID.

So by imagining what you can do daily in a future, you may find your answer. Working with a lot of people, or not seeing many people? Working at an office, or in farm, or even traveling? Working in a factory, or at a school? Performing in front of many?

I wish you good luck with choosing.

Sea

I'm sorry it was just a dumb question. We have some vague idea and we'll just have to wait and see how it turns out. I guess I'll never be able to please all of us. What was I thinking. Even if we would choose something else than what we originally thought, it would be a huge problem if the alter whose choice we're going for, can't be out enough to do it. We'll just have to go with the most logical choices and they are psychology or something with music.
Lately I've been reading quite a lot of posts about people who don't complete their edu or who are failing, and it's demotivating. Have to keep the mindset that I can do it. I have never really been to school and I have never really studied a day in my life so it's gonna be a whole new world for me. Plus we're going to have to deal with a lot of triggers regarding schools, classmates/people, and teachers. It seems like only yesterday that we could barely ride the bus without getting panic attacks, and the thought of having to do this twice daily isn't comforting.
It's worrying us that we'll get dumb again or that we wont be able to pay attention or absorb the info, or keep up the routine or wont have the energy, or maybe the environment will change the me, and that me wont have the same plans as this me does etc etc.
That's something we need to take care of before deciding which education we're going to do after the one we're currently starting. Who knows if we'll even get far enough to make the choice matter.
Maybe this whole thing is just stupid and we wont be able to do it but then we can at least say that we really tried. This is really my last chance. I am so embarrassed about how bad I effed up my life and got behind on so many areas of growth. It's bad that my t has to go on maternity leave right at the very time that we're making so many changes. I would have liked to discuss many things. Next time we'll see her I'll already have started school. For now I can't even get myself to fill in the application form. But we're going to. Can't allow these thoughts and feelings of failure and weakness.

Thanks for your replies and for listening to my confused whiny doom thoughts.

Hey TheCollective,

It's not a dumb question. It's a very important one. And so many people struggle choosing a career, because as you stated in the title there are too many options.

I do think you can make it. The new environment, classmates teachers, would let you see yet another side of you. And off course you can make it.

I think it would be key to work as a team. Yes there would be some who might not be so fond of the chosen career, but it would be what you guys have chosen. And on the spare time you can do what those not so fond of the chosen career want, as hobbies and volunteer job.

Choosing a career for you, it's not stupid, it's a great idea. To polish your abilities, to discover new ones. Multiples have a great capacity for looking at a same thing from very different sides and points of view. That's a plus that not many have. So stay strong, make agreements so that you'll be able to attend classes and not sabotage yourselves. And work as the great team you guys are.

Let us know what you choose.

Sea

Hello You Guys,

Thought about you tonight at the movies.

Have you seen DIVERGENT?

Pretty cool, I liked it.

Options, there are many, no matter what you choose, let your abilities shine.

Good Luck.

Sea

"Why did it seem important to jump and not to fall, when it came to the same thing?"Ann Brashares in My Name is Memory

Hi The Collective,

First, Sea is really smart and helpful. We always listen to her.

It's worrying us that we'll get dumb again or that we wont be able to pay attention or absorb the info, or keep up the routine or wont have the energy, or maybe the environment will change the me, and that me wont have the same plans as this me does etc etc.

We have worried about that all our lives. It's part of being multiple. Sorry. It sucks. We work on it all the time with lists and our community notebook and music (keeps the right person out) and by making sure others inside get time and attention for their projects so they don't push in line. We also have to accept that we can't work like other people. Just can't. We do it another way and try to negotiate the difference when we need to.

But it also means we can see so much in what we study and think about many new ideas all at the same time and be different for each different challenge we face. We are like a Swiss army knife - lots of different tools all together in one handle.

Right now we have a job we really love. We work on solving problems that we really really think need to be solved. That's what makes it work for us. Not the stuff we do but the stuff we make better. We ARE going to make a difference in the world even if we are multiple and even if we're f'd up sometimes.

Iain Etc

IainEtc wrote:But it also means we can see so much in what we study and think about many new ideas all at the same time and be different for each different challenge we face. We are like a Swiss army knife - lots of different tools all together in one handle.

Loved it! Loved the metaphor.

Sorry I have to ask,

IainEtc wrote: We also have to accept that we can't work like other people. Just can't. We do it another way and try to negotiate the difference when we need to.

Could you name an example of the ways in which we have to work differently? Cause we really don't know what's coming our way.

So what do I do when I'm in class listening to important stuff and I can't get it into my head decently? You said make lists. I guess I'm going to have to try that. If I'm even present enough to do that. I don't have a clue how I used to act at school. It's unnerving to lose such an important part of my past. I have so many memories of school but none of them are about studying. For both of us who are present right now.

Thanks for the movie tip Sea, sounded interesting

We weren't aware we were a group back when we went to uni.
But doing an art based degree really helped us work through stuff together even when we didn't consciously know that's what was going on.
People kept commenting our artwork looked "cathartic" or whatever, I was the only one who couldn't see that aspect of our work.

I am only saying because one of the degrees you're looking at is art based also.
I can't speak to other options, but doing an art degree did us good. And we did well at it.

That practical/hands-on work greatly outweighed formal examinations and essays made it a lot easier for us to keep on top of things and although we didn't know at the time we all worked on that degree one way or another. It's defo ours not just mine.