No names; no ages

So I was diagnosed with DID a few weeks ago. While most of the DID stuff does add up I don't know who the multiples are. I'm pretty sure I am coconcious most the time but I am not sure. It's a part of my core self that names and ages are not important. Calling myself Sarah even sounds weird. I believe I have had DID for a long time. I underwent a lot of emotional trauma as a young child: dad died by suicide, mom had severe depression, then had an emotionally abusive step dad.
Nobody in me has an identity. I couldn't tell who the host is. According to my T I change a lot and probably have for a long time so I never had an opportunity to know what an age is supposed to feel like though some act more mature than others.
It also might be a part of me is still in denial that it doesn't want to attribute names or ages... I think it feels like it might loose control or something. What should I do?
I think there are two parts of me coconcious right now because one of me thinks this is all crazy and one wants to give two of them names: Pips (the older kidish playful one) and Laminak (the more formal intelligent one) but then there is a part of me that is fighting names. Golly! I don't want to be crazy! I am sure all of you have been at this stage before. WHAT DO I DO?

Salaminak wrote:I am sure all of you have been at this stage before. WHAT DO I DO?

Yes, we have been there, done that. Try to relax, take your time, and do some self-care. You are at the beginning of a long discovery process. There is no rush.

My system is outlined in my signature below, but I didn't always have that information. I gathered it over several years. My alter that I identify here only as Alter 2 has been my close companion for most of my life. Often he would take executive control while I would experience myself almost as if in a waking dream. But despite our long history together Alter 2 had no name of his own until about a year into therapy, when he chose a name for himself. I had been talking about him a lot in therapy sessions and I was struggling with the lack of any name for him.

Going by more than one name is not crazy, it's common. Non-multiples often went by a diminutive form of their name, e.g. Tommy, when they were little. So Tommy may have gone by Thomas in grade school and Tom in business. He might have another name, like the madman, given to him by his old teammates, and may be know as dad, daddy, uncle, and eventually grandpa by others. Okay, not an ideal example, we're multiple and Tom above isn't. But this one guy is going to act really differently when he's with people based on what they call him.

I once saw my tough-as-nails boss interact with her kid and it really threw me. Two different people.

My system is arranged so that everybody needs a name, primarily so we can identify, refer to, and call them. Some were given names by Sphinx or me, but virtually everyone else took their own name, either in childhood, or when they woke up in the past couple years. If you hear my names, my advice is to use those until you're corrected. These aren't different human beings, they're dissociated parts of yourself who deserve recognition and validation. If you have DID, by definition, you are not simply you.

The feeling like you might lose control is really common for people newly discovering their DID. That was a big worry for me, huge. But switching isn't really losing control. Most alters tend to try not to draw attention to their own uniqueness and even for those who don't care most observers just see various alters as moodiness or a changeable personality, not as craziness.