Didn't dissociate during dramatic events. What now?

Thank you Bourbon Hugs appreciated

I went to visit this person today at the hospital. She was agitated but was allowed company for a little while. Things escalated relatively quickly and I sensed which way things were going. I was able to keep tabs on what things in the room she tried to hide and such and when the personnel dropped by she was fine for a little while more before panicking and trying to run away. In the end 3 hospital personnel and myself was able to calm her down and I got to have a good talk to the hospital personnel about some things to help keep her safe. Feeling a bit shook up after having to run around a mental hospital but otherwise doing okay. Have been trying to talk myself through step by step what happened this time and how it made me feel and it helped already. Feeling tired but otherwise there isn't too much of an issue with this now. It's very strange to feel and see what it's like to not dissociate and be able to validate and give myself what I need to process things as they are happening (or shortly after).

I'm glad to hear your experience with those integrated feelings. I'm sure you must be wiped out: you've been through a lot this past week. I'm glad u r keeping us updated.
Hugs too

Thank you Luvmycats It really is strange to process things so differently from before. It's not that I've never done this, but I've never been conscious of the difference so it's really interesting to see

well done all the way

dissociation is a copin gmechanisnm and when you can t use it i do get you feel a tad at a loss

but it s good so good you ddin t jump into it an d were able to stay fully aware

also well done for bein able to show your more vulnerable side to the T, showing indeed the hurt and apain you DO feel and live with, behind the strenght and stability you indeed have too.

i m glad you visitged her even tho things got out of hand, I think sommehow she must ve appreciated that
tho I don t get why she was able to get to dangerous things that could possible harm her, or why th e staff neededhelp understanding how to keep he rsafe, they re supposed to be professionals?

Anyways, well done again

I'm glad for you too, though I imagine it must be exhausting too.

I found very interesting what Johnny-Jack said about being present 'coz you're taking care of another one. Another person with DID.

I've got a question, but if you feel too tired, or don't want to answer, just don't do it.

If dissociation is a way of handling difficult situations, and everyone inside is an alter, who dissociates? The host?

I mean, if the host switches to face a difficult situation, then I imagine who dissociated was the host. But when the host dissociates, to face the situation, and the alter who face the difficult situation stays out. Who dissociated? What happens then? What happens when there is a new switch?

I hope you keep getting better, and the person you take care of, too.

Sea

Good question Sea, and one I've been thinking about for a long time.

All alters (host included) are by definition dissociated from each other, that us having parts instead of a cohesive personality. I don't count all switches as being dissociated though all are a dissociative act: I count switches to alters who are not present in the moment to be dissociated. This would include alters who are unaware of time passing or something like that. Age isn't really relevant for us as we have almost always had hosts that aren't the same age as the body. But in actuality, I would imagine all switching is dissociative - as the host can have higher levels of some other dissociative symptom like depersonalization so how do you make that sort of distinction? So yeah, basically we go by "present" or "not present" in the time we're in now.

Thank you for your kind words. She is doing a lot better right now.

LLT, your answer clarifies lots of things. Thanks!!

WOW, it's so important to learn that not all switches are dissociation. Haven't thought about it like that.

Humm... Could we say that dissociating is when the one who is out, doesn't feel like or can't face a situation, thus, leaves? And not dissociating switches, simply whenever anyone inside wants to experience, share, and live some things?

Glad she's doing a lot better.

Sea

Humm... Could we say that dissociating is when the one who is out, doesn't feel like or can't face a situation, thus, leaves? And not dissociating switches, simply whenever anyone inside wants to experience, share, and live some things?

I think it depends on your definition: is one alter leaving? or is another who is more capable stepping forward?

The more I think about it the more I think what we basically feel is that it isn't dissociative per se when the act of switching is to someone who we either (1) is wanting to have out (e.g it is by choice) or (2) it is someone capable. If it is someone that is not suited to the situation it means they have been triggered or the alter who was there was triggered, both of which would culminate in it being a dissociative switch. Switching to someone more capable however seems to me a natural and healthy thing, as long as you work on communication and such. We all - singletons and DID'ers alike - want to have the best/most capable "part of ourselves" forward at all times and who best fits the situation. I don't think that's unhealthy or dissociative, I just think that for someone who has DID the odds of "the most capable alter" being the same alter at all times is slim to none, so adapting like a non-dissociative would naturally includes shifts in the personality states.

Thank you

lifelongthing, your answer makes me think of the man I love.

I can totally understand that

lifelongthing wrote:We all - singletons and DID'ers alike - want to have the best/most capable "part of ourselves" forward at all times and who best fits the situation."

It makes me sad, he changed, and that we are not together. But I can see what you point out, and if the new guy is more capable one, I'm happy for him. I want the best for him.

Thank you for your words, help me understand him better, and help me heal as well.