Why new alters? Why a "permanent" change of host?

Hi Everyone,

I'm wondering why are a new alters created in adulthood? And why are there "permanent" changes of host?

I'm wondering 'coz I'm trying to understand what happened with a friend of mine who has DID. We used to date, he created a new alter; I'm guessing to manage the feelings he was having: "This is not happening to me, this is happening to someone else". In his case, him liking other guys, and me telling him that I didn't want to be in a relationship with him seeing other people.

So, again guessing, he created a new self where he could freely explore what he was feeling. But then there was a change of host. The new alter is now the one who fronts most of the time.

Why did this happen?

Thanks,

Sea

I think we heard the theory at one point, that once you split the first time, its easier to later on and through out life. Life is constantly shifting and changing so the system would have to as well.
Host changes we have no idea about. We had a host change but our previous host died so someone had to take over. We have considered another host shift before when life looked to be shifting a certain way and there was someone better suited to do what the body needed and blend in with the life path ahead of us. -mix

Seangel wrote:I'm wondering why are a new alters created in adulthood?

When different 'roles'/functions are needed. Or when other traumas happen. Or when (in some systems) ISH says so for whatever reason.

Seangel wrote:And why are there "permanent" changes of host?

When the alter created for the new function is stronger or needed more often than the other host/when the previous hosts are weaker/worn out, or uninterested in life. Or when said ISH said so. When the person starts to heal/when old host wasn't needed anymore.

Hi Seangel:

I've read about new alters being formed in adulthood, but have not had the experience with my BF, that I know of. Are you absolutely positive that this alter is a new one? Sometimes alters are hidden for a long time before you ever get to meet them. It is possible he has alters you've never even met, as I believe is true in my situation.

Also, I don't think that host changes are always permanent. A host change, or a hard switch, may happen because the current host is exhausted, needs rest, and/or someone better is suited for the tasks at hand. The host needing a break could come back out as host, or someone else could take the reins as well.

As you know, my guy had a host change. Before, I got lots of pop-outs from other alters, including one that didn't care for me (a teen). Now it's the opposite..I get the pop-outs of the ones that love me, but the teen and his crew are in charge.

I can imagine the amount of confusion this causes for the individual.

The thumbnail answer to this question is: this is why DID is considered a disorder.

Forming new alters is a dysfunctional way of coping with problems, that often causes more problems than it solves. We have structural dissociation, meaning we are capable of forming dissociated identities, and under stress sometimes we do that. Therapy is all about learning other ways of coping so that we don't have to resort to forming new alters. Sure, a new alter can do the job, but look at how much confusion and heartbreak results from the formation.

Thank you so much for your answers.

Patience wrote:Are you absolutely positive that this alter is a new one?

Humm... I think he's new. That's what he's told me when he first showed up. He has even expressed some of the things new alters have posted here. Like he didn't know what he liked, that everything was new to him, so he was exploring to gain a sense of self for him, he was sure he had just recently split. He did know though he was gay.

One of the things that makes me wonder is that when I asked him what his first memories were, he didn't want to tell me.

And he has mentioned events that happened to him that date earlier to his first appearances.

I kind of have an idea of why he's hosting. He's working towards integrating all other alters. He's had this lucid moments where his ISH shows him everything that has happened to him and he, the new alter, understand that each alter is a part of a whole individual, and that their memories when they were kids, that happened to an specific alter, are his own memories.

I also received messages from the former host, the one I used to date, telling me he was exhausted, he didn't feel he could give me anything else, that he felt lost and unwilling to continue. I showed him everything he had accomplished, he just hadn't seen them. And for a while he felt better, but slowly the new alter took control of most of the things the old alter use to do.

So, Yeah, I guess life constant changes are one of the reasons, as Familyof3 mentions:

Familyof3 wrote:Life is constantly shifting and changing so the system would have to as well.

And it does suits what TheCollective said:

TheCollective wrote:When the alter created for the new function is stronger or needed more often than the other host/when the previous hosts are weaker/worn out, or uninterested in life. Or when said ISH said so. When the person starts to heal/when old host wasn't needed anymore.

As far as I know no traumatic event happened.

I guess I'm still wondering why the creation of a new alter, why the change of host if things were looking fine at that moment, except for his interest in other people.

I was about to publish this post when I saw your comment Una:

Una+ wrote:The thumbnail answer to this question is: this is why DID is considered a disorder.

Forming new alters is a dysfunctional way of coping with problems, that often causes more problems than it solves. We have structural dissociation, meaning we are capable of forming dissociated identities, and under stress sometimes we do that. Therapy is all about learning other ways of coping so that we don't have to resort to forming new alters. Sure, a new alter can do the job, but look at how much confusion and heartbreak results from the formation.

I guess my best guessing would be that he dissociated liking other people to continue being with me as well. He coped the way he knew; thinking it didn't happen to him, it happened to someone else. And this new alter took control of most things 'coz of his characteristics, he was loved by many, he felt confident and secure, and the other alter may have felt tired.

As I've talked lately with the new alter, they are co-conscious, (at least these two out seven). And I think they are merging some how again.

Thanks again.

Sea

One day, me and my friend (who has DID) were talking about his DID.

Avatar was the one who was born in the body. At a very difficult time Gatsby gain a different conscious of himself, and for years there were Gatsby and Avatar (though we've come to see that Sahara, and another alter whose name we don't know were occasionally present as well). During that time I think mainly fronted Avatar. Later Gatsby completely split from Avatar, when Avatar gave up on life. Every now and then Avatar would appear for family matters, but not much. Gatsby fronted most of the time for some years.

Later, Evo gain a different conscious of himself and now he fronts most of the time. Sahara re-appeared some months after Evo gain conscious of himself, not being present since childhood. However she's not the host. Now, both Avatar and Gatsby are rarely out, there has been presence of the alter whose name we don't know.

Any how, what my friend sees is that when a new alter takes over he leaves old friends behind, and it's almost like he starts over. New friends, new interests. Until this alter gets tired and a new one comes.

Any one relates to this?

My friend wonders if this is DID as well, 'coz for most of what we've read some alters form mainly in childhood, and at some point in life (usually due to a crisis) the host tries to get in contact with other alters, and through communication and team work they start healing.

But new alters appearing and starting a new life, over, and over again... he wonders if that's DID as well.

Thanks for any light on this.

Sea

I do not change hosts! The system will change it! This is not something of conscious awareness. These things are defense systems created to keep me alive.

Integration can occur when healing is occurring! And I will integrate with personalities from my past! We will become one! and things change. I have all the memories of this past personalty! This will enrich and change my present state within the host personality.

Seangel, I have heard of what you describe. There are some systems that will have certain alters for a certain time period and they will almost "retire" as different ones take over for a different period, coming out later only as needed.

I really IS a case of each system being different. In my SO's case, his alters seem to revolve around, cycle around, if you will. I'm not aware of him creating new ones, but of course that does not mean it's not possible. I also have a vague feeling that certain alters "work together" and that in his case there may be different layers of alters.

I have also heard systems talk of alters that "re-set"..they'll go right back to the beginning..they'll forget things they've learned, etc.

Thank you for your answers.

Omnicell, I think I get what you're saying. The change of host it's not something done consciously, but unconsciously, and as a defense system. A defense system that was initially created to keep the person alive. An awesome defense system.

And, integration, if he decides to go for it, will occur when he's healing, and all of his personalities will become one and it'll enrich his ... life?

Thank you for being emphatic on the things you wanted to point out.

Humm... It is a case of each system, isn't it? I'm glad we know what it is, and not thinking it is something else, and not having the appropriate therapy.

Yeah, I've notice from your posts that with your guy they revolve around.

Patience wrote:I have also heard systems talk of alters that "re-set"..they'll go right back to the beginning..they'll forget things they've learned, etc.

I've also heard that, and I remember once talking with Gatsby that I told him I was afraid of him forgetting what we had lived together. And I remember him answering me in sign language: "It's impossible" he signed. ... Hope it is impossible to forget, and if he does, I'll gladly remind him.