Hitting a wall in healing

Our system has hit a major wall when it comes to healing, or any progress at all. A few of us are going through major depression, others denial to varying degrees, and more are being bogged down by flashbacks and feel like they're being overtaken by the past.
Therapy isn't any help right now. When we're not too terrified of her to speak about what's going on, she cancels the appointments (and by Murphy's law it happens right when we really need to go too).
We have no idea what to do, or how to help ourselves through a healing block like this. Does anyone have advice or experience?

The only advice I can give you is what my therapist said to me. Don't dismay, keep going, you are doing well at healing even though at the moment you are going through a tough time and it doesn't feel like you are going far, remember how far you have come and congratulate yourself on that.

From us: Safe hugs if wanted, we know how tough it can be, and how you just want to give up and yell stop, how overwhelming everything can feel and feel stuck and unsure what to do. We're trying to accept that all we can do is allow our brain time to process everything because we'll come out better in the end. Sadly those inside us are telling us that we have to live through this pain before we can get better.

Are you able to email/phone your therapist? then it can be done at a time thats convenient for you, a time when you are allowed to speak. I wish there was an easy way out but sadly it seems like the only thing you can do it 'just keep swimming'

thank you for the kind words. we're trying to keep our head up. some friends helped us out yesterday and made a huge difference for us.

There is a way out of the maze you are in. At times one is not supposed to follow the thread; to stand and breathe and feel and remember is an equal courage, and this too is progress. You write, you think on it, you hope - these are strong calls. You are capable of doing what it is that must be done. I have ridden the wave and know what it was, is, can be like. Healing is not always a fast current. Sometimes it must resonate before the blocks dissolve. Be well at this crossing.
ell

hey there

I so hate these parts in the journey of healing. I know every one who has been hurt starts a journey to recover, the start is for me looking back was a natural progress. I was pulled towards healing. Knowing there was something wrong.

When i read you post this part of the journey is what i was reminded of,
The part where nothing blinking works , you dont go forward, back, side ways , any blinking ways except maybe sinking down into that darkness that you have been fighting since the start?

I thought that maybe telling you, like the others have that have replied to your post have, telling you how we get through it.

The first thing we do is make sure we notice our body. Scan is up and down and realise how it is feeling , so we can relate it back to how we are thinking. We have so meny memories that are related to somatic memories that are triggered by the feeling of being stuck, lost etc. So doing a body scan is a good start.
If we miss that is it the slap in the face of the feeling of being Lost and Elliott comes out, the first thing we do if find a hug. Talk to our partner. So i guess im saying what you already did- you let your friends help and you posted here
Then we chill, give our brain a no thinking relax time. litually nothing- meditate, mindfulnes, listen to music, lwatch tv, anything not to do with being insane!!!
Once we come back down to earth we have found we can re-group, talk about it in our safe place and then write about it in our journal.
We also have a list that was written by our partner that reminds us of how far we have come etc. Maybe you could do this in a place that is easily found?


I hope this is of some help and not just ramblings.
we also hope it finds you in a little less of a darker place

respects us

Thank you guys (all) for the advice and kind words. we'll try to just be mindful and not focus on stuff too much. hopefully this weird in between phase ends or the memories stop being so persistant while getting us nowhere.

thanks again.

Hi again-

we just realised thou said about having loads of flash backs.ate you using grounding
Techniques to help?

Also our Littles swear by the kinder technique-it involves at leastthe unwrapping, eating of chocolate kinder egg and playing with toy per flash back

Glad to read you are staying strong

We've had some luck with switching to whoever can either handles things better at that moment or who can offer a change of perspective that gets us out of whatever mud we're in. So if we're really down we'll try to switch to a little and let them color or watch TV. Living with someone with DID has also been able to help break the spell if one of is stuck, who is usually me.

A guaranteed vacation from anxiety is switching to the baby Adam. We get nothing done, he barely knows how to play with simple toys and we'll mostly just lie there, eventually getting sleepy, but it's a break from upset or depression. Sometimes the depression will begin to seep into a little but not to the three youngest. It's impossible for them to even conceptualize that. It's mostly just need, delight, fear, curiosity, nothing more complex. For me, it's kind of like the therapy of holding a baby in my arms ( and I love kids).

Someone who had a horrible flashback or breakdown the day before might be calm in the body the next day. I think the benefit of all this is just not being stuck, of having the body have some calm emotions for a while. Changing the state of the body to positive tends to carry over for the next person stepping up front. It's not 100% but it definitely works often enough to keep doing it. The best thing is to get the body outside, get fresh air and a complete change of scenery. Changing your environment, especially a natural one, always has some effect on your mood.

I think I'm saying that we use various alters and switching to help get unstuck. The moment I stop seeking and including the emotions of my alters, when I begin to think that it is and should be only me the host (because of my life experience), I begin to create blockage in my system and it's sometimes accompanied by pain or some degree of numbness. I can't always reason with the littles and they can't participate in complex discussions but I have to be open to and accept their emotions if I want stability and flexibility.

Also our Littles swear by the kinder technique-it involves at leastthe unwrapping, eating of chocolate kinder egg and playing with toy per flash back

I love that technique We use that one a bit too with chocolates

How are you doing now Familyof3? Safe hugs if wanted

We have hit a period of deep thought. We need change in our lives, and have to think hard about how we're going to bring about this change. Jaime integrated with Birch so he could have the tools to begin his healing, and two new system members have appeared in my system, one of which is super happy and optimistic.
We're still at a wall, but we're slowly gathering the supplies needed to make the metaphorical journey.