how to get host back

I don't know if host is the right word but i need the person who used to be in charge to come back. Right now the one in charge is a little girl and I'm almost never here. The one that is here all the time is a girl too and she is taking pills to make us look like a girl. I really don't think the person who used to be in charge would want us to be like this. Can someone please tell me how the littler girl got in charge and how to get the old person back also is there a way to stop her from changing with pills.

Yea there is a way to stop her. Talk to her. Resolve the conflict and get to a middle ground.
Make her aware that you have to share the body and that nobody inside can just go and do whatever they want to do with it, at least not a big decision like changing genders. Have some understanding for her pain of living with the wrong gender, and make it clear to her that if she would go through with it, the pain would just shift to the males inside. Empathy for each other is so important. Maybe buy some female clothes to wear at home if she can promise to keep it at home, or find other things that could ease the pain such as hobbies to focus on. Everything that you could do requires communication and at least some tolerance for each other though. You could always decide later whether you're going through life as male or female or a bit of both.

Host simply means that (s)he is the one who is on front most of the time. Maybe that will help you determine who is/are yours. Leader is usually the one that makes and enforces the rules. Leader and host can be the same person but don't have to be.
I don't know how the little got in charge, and I don't know where the old leader/host is, have you tried to find him inside? Does anyone inside have any information about what happened to him?
I know that you're here and you have some say in this too. Maybe you're supposed to lead/host now? It's just a guess though cause I don't know anything of your system. We've switched hosts a lot though so just saying, it's possible he will not get back for a while. It's even possible that there's more than one host in your system like in ours, we have one female and one male adult host who share all time, and 2 others who are also sometimes on front for up to 2-3 weeks.
Is there an adult or someone who could pass as adult to help the little? They don't have to assume the role of host, maybe it's just temporary.
Don't have to answer any of this, it's rather stuff to think about, but did something that you know of, happen in your life before the leader/host disappeared?
And-uh, welcome here