letting insider's talk to T...

hey guys

I wrote a post yesterday about the great feeling of my T talking to my little and jake.

I haven't had much of an easy settled mind since then because my little has written a letter
to our T, saying thanks and explaining what went on from her perspective.

Thing is she wont let me settle because i'm scaared to pass it on...

Its so stupid because she knows about my insiders, i mean for goodness sake she spoke to them like i said in the last post.

There is a part of me that just wants to stop it all... it's a battle to not listen to it.

How do you guy's do it?

bump, bump , bumpty bumpty bump

She is so scared that she blcok me out but it dont work can of worms are open help her pleaseeeeee

Since I feel you deserve some kind of reply I'll try to give one. I'm non-DID btw but I'm thinking that maybe why you're scared to give the letter to your T is because you're revealing to your T the inner world and how your insiders feel which is something that's nerve wracking and even though your T took talking to Jake and little well in the session, maybe you feel your little contacting her outside of the environment where you normally see your T has left you feeling a bit vulnerable in terms of thoughts and emotions. As for the part that wants to end it all, I don't think that's necessary. For me, that is never the option. I believe that opening up to your T to the point you feel comfortable with your insiders talking freely with your T will probably be a good step for you. I hope that this helps and that you feel better.

I hope you'll be able to pass along the letter either through email if your T is ok with outside contact, or you could promise your little to give it to your T the next session. I didn't initially answer because my parts almost never show up in therapy. On the rarest occasion when one has, my T was so reverent (weird word here, but he was) and scrunched down in his chair. He was just very affirming and gentle, and I'll bet your T will be respectful and kind toward any correspondence you all share and to additional times when your inside ones may engage with her in session.

If it's shame and vulnerability you're feeling as the adult, we understand that in spades. But your little one wants and deserves to be heard. It's gonna be okay to pass it on, don't you think?

Oh, I forgot. Even though mine are hiders, I've been the messenger quite a few times when a little one inadvertently got distressed by something that a T said, and there was a dire need to let the therapist know, so we could gain relief.

Hope you all feel better soon.

Hey Violarules and caeri

Thank you both for your replies and im sorry it took so long to get back. I simply didnt know my little wrote in here again so i just assumed no one replied~!!

Violarules wrote:maybe why you're scared to give the letter to your T is because you're revealing to your T the inner world and how your insiders feel which is something that's nerve wracking and even though your T took talking to Jake and little well in the session, maybe you feel your little contacting her outside of the environment where you normally see your T has left you feeling a bit vulnerable in terms of thoughts and emotions. As for the part that wants to end it all, I don't think that's necessary. For me, that is never the option. I believe that opening up to your T to the point you feel comfortable with your insiders talking freely with your T will probably be a good step for you. I hope that this helps and that you feel better.

I think you hit the nail on the head here. I am very scared and feel vunrable in terms of thoughts and emotions. I think it is the part of me that is waiting for rejection? that part of afriad that if i let more and more out at some point i will be rejected. I know i have to combat that with ... what is the probability of it happening etc - some CBT plasters as my T would say.

I didnt realise i wrote that a part of me wants to end it with my T. I would be mad to do that, just as i have found some one that see's us!!!

Thank you so much for your kind words

Hey caeri

Thought i would hightlight the things you wrote because i cant get the hang of mutiply quotes!¬

I hope you'll be able to pass along the letter either through email if your T is ok with outside contact, or you could promise your little to give it to your T the next session. [

I am going to say to my T that i have been letting parts of me just write and a couple of thigns have come up but i am afriad to show her because i am afriad that i'm a freak and at some point she will just say it or some form of it! lol

That way she will give me the confirmation that that wont happen and i can give her the letter! lol swings and round abouts!


[b]I didn't initially answer because my parts almost never show up in therapy. On the rarest occasion when one has, my T was so reverent (weird word here, but he was) and scrunched down in his chair.

Reverent - now that is a reastion interesting that he was deeply respectful but yet recoiled into his chair. I bet parts of picked up on that body language? Have you ever fronted him about it and given it as a possible reason parts of you find it hard to be open?


I'll bet your T will be respectful and kind toward any correspondence you all share and to additional times when your inside ones may engage with her in session.

You know what, i know she will be loverly and that kinda freaks me out because the 'mother' parts of her come out and my littles respond to it and that freaks me out! lol - cant blinking win!

If it's shame and vulnerability you're feeling as the adult, we understand that in spades. But your little one wants and deserves to be heard. It's gonna be okay to pass it on, don't you think?

Dosent it suck feeling vunerable? o for blinking sakes... i know your right on it being ok and little being heard....


Oh, I forgot. Even though mine are hiders, I've been the messenger quite a few times when a little one inadvertently got distressed by something that a T said, and there was a dire need to let the therapist know, so we could gain relief.

I have been there menya times to.


Thank you both so much for you kind words, logic and help. Really really helped me out.

river

River,

Glad it's helping you to talk.

Just to clarify, when my T saw and heard my little one, it was like a holy hush came over him. His kind of bending over a bit and talking so quietly to her was like an adult squatting down to be on a closer level to the child. It was sweet and a bit surprising, but not bad.

Your young parts getting that mom/nurturing side of things activated might not be a bad thing. There could be some healing there, no? Hearing you... being vulnerable is part of the price of doing therapy, methinks. But I'm with you that when it happens, the first reaction is Yikes!!

Caeri

Hello

The way you described what you t fine is exactly was my t dose! Do you think it comes in the manual?

Makes total sense now you described it.

Agreed about vulnerability, o so important for progress but o so scary