Hard to believe it will improve

One thing I struggle much with is the despair. I'm safe and all, but there is a near-constant despair of ever fully connecting with others inside, releasing what is so pressurized, and healing. Also known as having less symptoms and a better life. It seems out of reach and progress has been so minimal for so long.

hi there

despair is totally crap place and thing to feel.

Living in despair is so down tredding.

We spent half our live in that place and really really not good to hear when other's do.

Is it like some thing terrable is going to happen around the corner but you just dont know what?

It is good that you are safe, we are glad about that.

Caeri wrote:One thing I struggle much with is the despair. I'm safe and all, but there is a near-constant despair of ever fully connecting with others inside, releasing what is so pressurized, and healing. Also known as having less symptoms and a better life. It seems out of reach and progress has been so minimal for so long.

I'm sorry you are feeling that way I can relate and I am in the same place in my life, it's a horrible feeling. I never know if this kind of input helps at all but anyway, just wanted to say you are not suffering alone.

I feel this way fairly often. Three things can help with this for me:

1. Journal. It doesn't have to be every day. This way, when you feel like you haven't made progress in a long time, you can read old entries and see how you've changed over the months or years.

2. List things you are currently doing which could somehow better yourself or your situation.

3. Tell your therapist you've felt stuck for some time. Ask if they've seen differences. Maybe they can ask the right questions so you understand why you're feeling stuck. At the very least, it's good to hear the observations of an outsider sometimes to help gain perspective.

Thanks so much for your replies. It does help to know that others feel this, too, whether constantly, frequently or just sometimes. I think the deep discouragement really wears on a person. There is no doubt that this is one part of the depression.

Riverside, thanks for your support.

Vertices, so sorry you are suffering this way. It is so painful and my heart goes out to you.

AtlCtrlDel, I do need to return to journaling. I used to be so regular with it, and it's been ages since I've really focused on it. I do sit with ourselves and talk out loud and let that go anywhere. I know that helps some. #2 seems out of reach right now. And...my T well knows how stuck I feel. I was telling him yesterday that whenever a therapist opens their mouth, I want to stick a sock in it because nothing they ever say seems to help. I said it very respectfully, not at all aimed at him, just that my frustration runs so high.

hi there

I am so glad that people have helped you feel better.

I totally agree you should get back to journaling.... the fact you used to do it all the times means it blantantly helped.

I was sitting here alone when i read you post and when you said about wanting to stuff a sock in T's mouth i LMAO!!! seriously, i laughted out loud. I totally know this feeling and have said it a bit more with more teenage out and it came out ' well that sounds like a load of boring crap' ...luckaly my T has a sence of humur!!!

Talking out loud to your insider's sounds very thearputic... i've done it but only by accident in front of my SO! she laughs at me which is great

Do you have an internal meetiing place? I read ' the stranger in the mirror' and it went through a great step by step way of creating a safe place etc and it really really helped when i'm down.

I'm glad you sent another post, we have been thinking of you.

river and company

I'm glad you could have a giggle about the sock, River. It's true!!

Thanks for your kind thoughts and for posting to me again.

I related to Stranger in the Mirror best of all the books on dissociation that I've read. Liked it a lot. But we may be a little weird in this. Can't do the safe place thing or the conference room approach etc. There seems to be a resistance to using any imaginary techniques. And they hide. And they flee from/resist the word "safe." So some really typical things that work for others, we can't use. At least not yet.

Caeri wrote:But we may be a little weird in this. Can't do the safe place thing or the conference room approach etc. There seems to be a resistance to using any imaginary techniques. And they hide. And they flee from/resist the word "safe."

that totally sucks, i had an idea that might help... how about just taking them out for an outting, like to a zoo etc? Some where that you have no negitive association with?

Possible trigger

Maybe if the word safe dose not work you could use 'fun' as a down time?

You never know if you are having fun, some of your littles maybe wont be able to resist!



hope its not all bull thats coming out

river

Thanks, River. I hope you've had a good day.

What you suggested kind of corresponds to something Una+ suggested a few days ago. To maybe try some physical play with them and see what happens. That I go out and initiate it and see whether anyone chimes in. Can't hurt to try. I did have a small indoor sandbox thing for awhile and I didn't get any takers when I'd mess with toys in there.

The talking to ourselves and the journaling hasn't been fruitful this week and T session went nowhere. I'm organizing journals and notes from sessions from a few years ago when things were moving. I am not sure how to repair things with and for my young parts--they lost their greatest supporter two years ago. A tremendous rejection.