They erased my life

They said that I can post here, to try to figure out my feelings.
I woke up for the first time in what Birch says is about a year and a half. I remember him, and I remember Alex. It was just the three of us, although he said that things have changed a lot. Things have changed everywhere. I learned we moved out of country for a year, and they completely ignored going to post secondary school. We have no job even and are on the equivalent of welfare?!
They threw out all my clothes and completely erased me from existence. Birch said that's that's what happens to corpses, they are mourned, then they're thrown away and forgotten. I... died? But somehow am living. It's just my luck really. I can never die. I'm the immortal girl. He said they mourned me though, I guess that sort of makes me feel better.
I have no idea what to do now. I don't want their disgusting failure of a life, and I don't really want my life back either. I don't even want my name, or the name that they called me, so I guess I'll chose a new one. Changing a name doesn't change a person, it can't erase my past, but maybe it can give me a new beginning.

-Night (previously The Other)

Hi there Night,

I know how confusing it is when this happens. It happened to a few of us regularly, waking up and realising we had not been in charge for a while. When our Gabriel woke up after several years, he felt a bit like you do now, not at all happy with what we'd made of our life. He went and fixed it...

We had a member too who had previously 'died' and was resurrected. Properly, from bones and such, so we called her Bonesy

Do you have any idea why you died at that stage? For Bonesy it was a very specific event that 'killed' her, and a very specific event that brought her back, because she was needed once more. Maybe you can find out how this happened?

Best, tribe

It's so confusing. They say I'm not who I think I am. Who the ###$ am I then? I died. I died so many deaths, now I'm back. I look like "her" I feel like "her" but I'm not. People in this system are ###$ in the head. Are they scared of her/me, don't want me back, so they deny I exist? Or am I different? Why can't this be simple and I just be a normal person like I was in the past.

Can alters within a system re-incarnate within another person and create a subsystem?

It's really freaking annoying when they get rid of all your stuff.

It's really freaking annoying when they get rid of all your stuff.

So very much so You have a full life then poof and all traces of you are gone when you come back. Real good feeling

I'm sorry you're in such a difficult place OP. I don't know re the subsystems thing.