I made a new friend,I think.

I met a lady who is just as loopy as I am. We hit it off immediately. I took a chance and gave her my number, explained that I don't really do the whole talking on the phone thing and suggested we text. She has suggested we get together for lunch.

Sounds great so far, huh? When I heard this I panicked. I've been making excuses. I don't do so great with friends. I feel like an imposition. Like I am taking up their time when they would rather be somewhere else. How do you handle this?

we usually hide and freak out, so im not in a position to give advice, but i'm curious about any answers.

When you said you feel like an imposition I can totally relate. I met a friend awhile back and we have alot in common including DID. But every time I go to call her I feel like I shouldn't be bothering her and all kinds of negative thoughts. I told her one day how I felt and come to find out she feels the same way.

I know your friendship is new but maybe if you explained how you felt she would be understanding and supportive and might even be feeling the same way. Are you comfortable telling her you have DID?

It's so important to have someone to connect with and i'm so glad you found a friend. Please let us know how things work out for you.

I don't know if I helped but I liked the topic a whole lot.

If you agreed to meet her for lunch - the worst that would happen is that you decide not to meet again....am I right? In which case you have nothing to lose except meeting someone once and disappointment if it doesn't work.

Remember that friendship is a two way process. Some days you will need a friend to lean heavily on, other days they will lean heavily on you, some days you will both share your worries/problems and support each other....thats what a two way relationship is! A therapist is the only person I know who is willing to just sit and listen to all your problems/ how things have been going in life, without expecting you to then do the same for them in a time of need.

This could be a great new friendship for you...I hope you can try and go to lunch and find out...
Hoping this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship

I panic a lot when meeting new people too, especially for dates. Once my friend convinced me to try online dating. I met one guy, who was really nice and a lot like me; we talked a whole lot online for a few weeks, he went to the other college near mine, but when we met up to go get pizza I was so nervous/anxious I went into a severe state of depersonalization (didn't know that's what it was at the time), terrified the whole time even though he was actually a really nice guy and if I hadn't been like that we'd probly have ended up going out. I didn't talk much and was very quiet and did not register that at the end he wanted to kiss me; which I'd have liked, but I was so dissociated I just didn't notice. He thought I wasn't that interested because of how that all went. I talked to some more people online, who were great, but always made excuses to not meet up because of that experience, and eventually shut down my account. =[

I, too, feel like I'm interrupting people's lives, even though they always reassure me I'm not (closer friends I'll actually ask them if I am or not). They've told me that I shouldn't worry, since people who ask me to hang out obviously want to! I still get paranoid when hanging out with people alone, though. I'm better in groups, since then I know there's others there so if I'm there it's not wasting their time because the other people they want there. Of course, I know this is not true, since they invite me, but I can't help but think that.

In high school, I had pretty much two friends until senior year, when a few girls I knew from classes began inviting me places with them- aparently, my reserved/shy attitude- from being anxious about people- had made everyone think I was one of those reserved people who disliked others, and they realized that this wasn't the case! I opened up a bit more then, and was even elected president of the german club somehow. I think that was the first time I actually felt wanted rather than an annoyance. =]

In college, it's been similar to that, too. People have come up to me, people who also have mental disorders and recognized how I was acting, one of my best friends here also having such anxieties. I was also elected onto club exectutive boards again somehow! I've been pushing myself to not make excuses and actually hang out with people, mostly in groups, thanks to these friends. =]

So, uh, sorry for that being so long. I guess the bottom line is, without making that leap and going, you'll never know how it will go, and if she calls you back after then you definitely know you're not wasting her time! I know it's really tough, but if she keeps wanting you to go with her then she probly won't see you as an imposition. Trust me, that's what my friends have told me- if they keep inviting you to hang out with them, then they want to be with you and you're obviously not being a bother. =]

Good luck, I hope it all works out with her. =]

Thanks for the wonderful replies! I was comfortable enough with her to tell about the possibility of DID within the first 5 minutes of meeting her. We spoke of it a little through text as well. She said she was going to Google it for more information. She has adhd and ptsd herself.

It's a big leap, but I am going to try to meet her one day next week for lunch or something. Thanks again.