Weird experience in my car. ***trigger warning***

A couple of nights ago on my way home from work, I had a weird sensation. I started to smell alcohol and hear someone in the seat behind me. I started to feel really warm in my face and shoulders and got really nervous. Then I felt hands on my sides, I tried to ignore them but I just couldn't. I turned on the lights in my car and looked behind me but no one was there. I almost broke down at that point because I was so happy no one was there but also mortified that I was smelling and feeling things that weren't there. I couldn't sleep in my night clothes because I felt too vulnerable to change clothes. I don't even know wat to think of it. I do know that people touching my sides makes me feel really weird and I don't want them to. Last night I had a dream where people kept touching my sides and it got really upsetting...

Safe hugs if wanted. That doesn't sound nice at all. Sounds like maybe part of you is trying to tell their story of what happened. Hope you are ok

Why mortified? As if this sort of experience can't happen so you must be making it up? I assure you it does happen, and often, to trauma survivors. You were experiencing a kind of flashback. In movies flashbacks are represented as "mind movies" with images and sound. But in real life flashbacks more often begin as physical sensations and odors are common too.

It is typical for someone who has a dissociative disorder to have vividly intense, intrusive flashbacks to events about which they have no memory. So it is doubly hard to recognize that these are flashbacks to actual events. But that is what they are.

Be gentle with yourself. If this happens again please try to pull off the road and park in a safe place until it passes. Talk to people you know to find someone who understands, someone you can call if you feel this flashback coming on again, who can help to ensure you are safe.

Una+ wrote:Why mortified? As if this sort of experience can't happen so you must be making it up? I assure you it does happen, and often, to trauma survivors.

It was mortifying primarily because the thought "I'm insane" came up. Also, I have no idea wat the trauma could have been that i would have holes in my memory.

Kristoff1235 wrote:It was mortifying primarily because the thought "I'm insane" came up.

Did someone in your family of origin throw out that label? "What, are you insane?" In any case, that you have the thought at all is good evidence that in fact you are not insane.

Kristoff1235 wrote:Also, I have no idea wat the trauma could have been that i would have holes in my memory.

We don't remember what we don't remember. Situation normal. Absolutely normal. Often, what we can imagine and fear might have happened is far worse than the reality. So investigating generally brings relief.

Una+ wrote:

Kristoff1235 wrote:It was mortifying primarily because the thought "I'm insane" came up.

Did someone in your family of origin throw out that label? "What, are you insane?" In any case, that you have the thought at all is good evidence that in fact you are not insane.

Kristoff1235 wrote:Also, I have no idea wat the trauma could have been that i would have holes in my memory.

We don't remember what we don't remember. Situation normal. Absolutely normal. Often, what we can imagine and fear might have happened is far worse than the reality. So investigating generally brings relief.

No, my family doesnt even know about my problems. I just feel like society in general believes that to be insane. I understand that my memories are wat they are, but when I get a possible flashback, have an aversion to having my sides touched, and can list all of wat i remember of my childhood on one of my hands, it makes you wonder wat could it be about.