Essentially homeless for a bit

I'm going to go ahead and put a trigger warning here as I'm going to talk about some stuff that might be upsetting. *TRIGGER WARNING*


Right now there is a lot of stuff going on, and the anniversary of a major trauma is coming up in 2 days. All the stress has made our system very unstable and one of our more disturbed members came out and tried to frighten away someone who was getting in her face. This resulted in us getting scratched in the face apparently. (funny enough no one else seems to have a mark on them but we're the dangerous ones.) Birch managed to pull our disturbed member back inside, but our family members were already freaked out beyond me being able to explain anything that could help.
Well, all of the sudden our uncle is in our room yelling at us that we don't appreciate being there and that we need to control ourself (he wouldn't listen to any attempts to explain that this was something beyond our control.)
Then as I'm downstairs I can hear them talking about if they can phone the police on us and that we should be locked up and medicated (She ######6 HISSED at them, there wasn't even any issue). Then all the sudden that turned to no one's safe around us and that they need to sleep with a baseball bat, and that we should just leave.

Everything we told 2 family members in confidence that our secret would be safe is now being repeated to the whole family, including our abusers, no doubt with the facts twisted to demonize us.

So we've been kicked out of our house, and now we know what everyone truly thinks about us. It's funny how the things people say to your face is far different from what they say behind your back.

I have no idea what to do. This is all getting way too much to handle.

I'm sorry you are going through this. The anniversary of trauma that caused me to split further is coming up in december. Hopefully you are ok. I hope things get more stable for you. i'm sorry that your family members felt the need to tell all of your family members including your abusers what you said to them. I have been integrated for a while. I hope things get better for you.
Hugs if wanted,
Manyfaces

i feel so stupid for ever trusting them. I regret telling them anything and believing that they could be normal and understanding human beings for once.

Perhaps everyone will finally begin listening to what I say from now on.
im sad becuz no on wansts us. they hutr us them go away. i hate grone ups.

Knowledge is power. They have given you a gift, revealing so much to you. I am so sorry they are not a safe, healthy family for you. Many of us have DID because our families of origin are so unsafe, so unhealthy.

That said, the fact is that your personality system collectively does have the power to control itself. Therapy will teach the system how to control its collective behavior. Also, if your family feels that you are not a safe person for them then they are right to ask you to leave. That may be the most healthy thing they have done in a long time.

Do you have a safe place to go?

The housing situation has resolved itself. can't say much for the other drama and the rumor mill, but at least we have a roof over our heads for now.

It sounds like your family members have outed themselves as untrustworthy.
This doesn't mean that all people are untrustworthy.
It just means that these family members have proven they cannot be trusted.
It was a very brave thing to do, to try and trust these people.
The fact that they broke your trust says a lot about them.

I heard myself in your phrase
"believing that they could be normal and understanding human beings for once".
Every once in awhile I backtrack, and think "maybe things are different now" with my family.
It's wishful thinking, but it's also placing my own expectations on them to change.
They don't want to change, nor do they see the need to.
So, I found other people who I know I can trust, and I don't bring up these things with
my family anymore (who like to pretend everything is hunky dory and nothing is ever wrong).

I test the waters bit by bit with new people, never jump in feet first.
You can sort of get an idea of how people might react when you do so.
Once I had a 'great' friend.. who loved being around me when times were good, and
abandoned me when I needed her help the most.
Now I look for those who can be there for me, both rainy and shining days.
If someone looks uncomfortable or disturbed, tries to change the topic, or doesn't look genuinely interested when I test the waters (usually by bringing up a topic but not relating it to myself, such as "I heard that a mental health clinic was opening up down the street") you can kind of see where a person's current views on these things are.
If they react in a manner similar "OH GOD, WHY WOULD THEY MOVE ONE OF THOSE HERE" I know never to bring up topics like these lol.
If they say things along the lines of "That's great, we need lots of support in our community, we definitely don't have enough." I know that I can continue to test the waters later on.
There are some people who are well-meaning but ignorant (which is important to remember)
and those who are just stuck in their ways of thinking.

I find that certain anniversaries are triggering for me too. I didn't even realize it until I was wondering why I was panicking and saw that it was around that time of year.
Is there a safe place you can be around anniversaries?
I know some people go to respite centers, talk to their therapist about it or sometimes even check into the hospital.
Whatever you can do to keep yourself feeling safe, and supported during these times is a great thing.

Wish I could help more. Glad your housing situation resolved itself.