Eating Disorders *trigger warning*

I've been meeting lots of people lately, and its been good overall, though I go back and forth with denial. I've been "leaving the doors open" in the sense that I'm trying to be receptive and non judgemental to any voices/thoughts/experiences.

However, I'm starting to relapse again with eating issues. I really, really don't want to do that, but I get the feeling someone does. I'll be perfectly content with a plate of food, for example, then I'll have a very sudden feeling of self-disgust, followed by hopelessness if I start to eat...and then, of course, I won't be able to stop eating. It has that sense of being distanced from the emotions that I'm starting to associate with the emotions not being mine.

Has anyone dealt with this? How do you work on communication and cooperation?

Trigger warning too, though I guess yours counts for the whole thread. O_O

Mae is anorexic, and when she gets anywhere near the front during foodtimes, whoever's out usually gets suuuuuuuuper nausea. Sometimes we can get past it, sometimes not.

A few weeks ago, we didn't eat for five days. Our T told us to write down everything we ate for the next week until therapy again, and if Mae didn't back down and we had less than two meals a day, she'd have to hospitalize us.

I mean, that's a really harsh way to do it but it was effective. Mae made an agreement to back off during foodtimes. But we're a pretty cooperative system..
Maybe just get someone else involved to help?

I have been wondering if my ED is someone else. I didn't have any eating problems until a couple of years ago, then for a while it got pretty bad. I still struggle with it but it is periodic and I have trouble relating to it because I love food. When it's present I have a hard time eating anything at all, I completely lose my appetite. Some bulemic tendencies as well though I never binge. Body image changes all the time; when present the distress is on a BDD level.

I'm think my eating disorder is manifested mostly in a part, too.

My eating schedule fluctuates so much due to being really busy with college and work, so somedays I don't have much time to eat some meals. So there's thoughts coming into my head saying to just skip the meal, that it'll help me lose weight (which I'm still trying to do, but via more healthy ways this time). Half the time, maybe more, the meal then gets skipped. Sometimes when I start to think about going to eat something, I'll often lose some time and then realize as I'm going to class that I never ended up getting food like I intended to do.

Also, after some big meals like restaurants, I'll blank out and then when I come back discovered I purged... Luckily that doesn't happen too often anymore! But the skipping meals has been happening more because I've been busier this semester than usual. Yesterday I barely ate anything. I want her gone. =[

For some reason I'm having a hard time replying to this...but I just wanted to say thanks so much for all the replies, they did help me start brainstorming up some plans. I want to say more, but everytime I try I hate what I write. Maybe I'll have another shot later.

My preteen female alter has a very typical bulimia resulting from childhood abuse. It is not an instigated purge, the vomit simply spills out of her. As we have progressed in therapy, I have been become more and more successful at calming her down, sometimes offering to talk over until the feeling passes for her. What does not work is taking ,matters into my own hand and suppressing her need to vomit. She simply purges herself by uncontrolled diarrhea instead.

It is not an instigated purge, the vomit simply spills out of her.

this is exactly what happens with us. does it often result from abuse?

The clinical psychologist my wife and I go to for couples counseling is also an eating disorder specialist. She explained to us that bulimia frequently develops in preteen girls who were traumatized as children. It is a trauma victim's attempt to gain control over their world. We had already determined in trauma therapy that my female alter is 10-14, so her bulimia was textbook trauma-related.

My trauma therapist explained there is also the psychological need to purge the horrible thing out of ourselves- the reason when I my suppressed my female alter's need to vomit she simply found another way to purge herself by inducing spontaneous diarrhea.

I am 53 and had not even been aware of my eating disorder until my system decomposed in 2009. That said, I had a reputation for eating like a horse, did a strict fast a day a week most of my life for "health reasons," and lived an extremely active lifestyle. I understand now it had been a very well concealed and nondestructive binge/purge that kept my weight at 162 pounds- pretty svelte at 6'1". Scoliosis has robbed me of 3 inches and my dropped to stable 146 after my system decomposed. I have had 8 of these purging episodes since my system decomposed and have not had one for 6 months now.

latenightlight wrote:However, I'm starting to relapse again with eating issues. I really, really don't want to do that, but I get the feeling someone does. I'll be perfectly content with a plate of food, for example, then I'll have a very sudden feeling of self-disgust, followed by hopelessness if I start to eat...and then, of course, I won't be able to stop eating. It has that sense of being distanced from the emotions that I'm starting to associate with the emotions not being mine. Has anyone dealt with this? How do you work on communication and cooperation?

I have a teen insider who struggles with Anorexia.
I have a history of Anorexia since I was 25 yrs old but had been very stable for about 2 yrs.I dropped 30 lbs when my insiders started revealing themselves to me. It was so overwhelming that I relapsed. I began to realize that it was this insiders way of coping.
It helped to talk with her about the body needing food to live and helping her understand that the Little ones inside were very hungry. My T and good friends helped me with some of these conversations.
It also helpd to plan meals with these friends to encourage her to eat more. It has helped a lot. I have gained about 10-15 lbs. and feel much better physically. It is a daily battle.
Don't give up