Persons with DID supporting each other

It's now a decade later and we have both healed a lot. Though our relationship has been rocky and hurtful at times, we're usually a loving, supportive family, one that I always yearned for.

Nic is well on his path to integration. For me that's both a joyous and a painful transition. Recently, without my realizing it, TK, one of his main alters, who just a year ago fronted more than anyone else, went inside for good. He and the host Nic have joined, though outwardly they feel more Nic to me than a blend. I miss interacting with my son TK as well as with so many other alters -- my kids -- who no longer front.

Some of us are overwhelming sad because we weren't able to say goodbye, even though we know they're still right there in our son and I can still speak to them through him. Nic's littles and middles rarely front nowadays and then very briefly. I don't think there'll ever be a moment when we get to say goodbye to them as individuals and I'm pretty sure that's even not the right way to be thinking about all this.

We know intellectually that they're all still there, everyone is just joining as we always hoped for them. We're thrilled that the damage is being undone and that we've played some part. Emotionally though, especially for our littles, there's some sadness and pain. Likely because they haven't been able to follow Nic's path and so they feel alone again. And we miss the different personality traits of so many different people we've come to know.

I guess most parents feel a loss as their kids grow up. Parents realize their kids just don't need them as much anymore. Isn't that the goal of parenting, to raise a strong, independent person? For sure yes, but the experience for me is bittersweet. In our case, it's probably more accurate to say that I raised the littles and re-raised all of them.

I've long believed that anyone with DID, especially if relatively young, can and will fully heal, which in our case means integrating, if they can just escape the sources of abuse and gain a permanent, safe, supportive home plus the right therapy.

Although my system has healed tremendously from having all of him here, in therapy we are risk averse by design. The word from within is that our job is what provides the financial security for both my son and me, so we can't afford to risk a breakdown by aggressively tackling some abuse -- namely that involving the worst betrayal. So our progress has been so much slower.

Overall this has been an incredible journey which is still happening.

I went back and read your first post on this thread. Thank you so much for the update. It is an incredible journey you and Nic have taken, individually and together. Wishing you both a smooth path toward continued healing.

Johnny-Jack wrote:. Recently, without my realizing it, TK, one of his main alters, who just a year ago fronted more than anyone else, went inside for good. He and the host Nic have joined,.

I'm glad to hear you are doing well. Some of us wish to integrate but find if the alters other people on DID forums preferred go inside and someone else posts no-one answers them...so forcing the ones other people approve of back out. ..strangely we don't have this issue on forums for physical conditions because of course nobody realises the hot has changed and the group is not about that.

Its a shame after we had made such progress recognising that alot of Maddie's symptoms were somatoform ones, which had since improved that we have to return to that way of functioning to receive support from real life others.

But everyone has voted to return to our old way of functioning and so we are leaving this forum.

I just miss interacting with some of the alters in Nic's system but I know my son's system has its own path and they have to stay on it. I haven't asked anyone to front who's gone inside but I have asked how they're doing through my son's host. I guess I'm saying that the changes in his system are exciting and kind of sad for me. I'll move beyond the sadness but it's a process.

I've experienced a couple outside people close to me telling me they only wanted to interact with the old or regular me, not that they had a clue what that meant. Who they knew was always more than one of us.

I hope you are able to stick with the path that's best for you as a whole, based on what you all want, not on what seems to please outside people. Or what they think pleases them. It may be possible that some posts, whoever they're by, receive fewer responses more by chance.

I have experienced some alters, especially younger ones, getting few replies than our hosts. That may be because more adult alters, probably hosts, post here than not, I don't really know. Some of my alters didn't "click" as much with others here but luckily our son had some odd alters like we have so they were able to get along with somebody else.

What you are going through makes me think about this thesis:
https://scholarworks.smith.edu/cgi/view ... ext=theses

I think I'll repost it in the ressources thread too.

Wowzers!!!! JohnnyJack that's straight AMAZEBALLS!!!!

I feel like I understand a bit the sadness of missing them... but knowing that the thing making you sad... is actually a Good Thing.

I want to send you all the glitterbombs and tell you it is ok to miss them. your grief honors the friendships you had/have. and your maturity and wisdom to approach the cognitive dissonance this way is incredible.


Glitterbombs, Johhny-Jack. All the glitterbombs.