Persons with DID supporting each other

Several years ago, I considered hiring a personal assistant to help me with things I just never got done for reasons I didn't understand. Someone to help me organize and to push through boundaries I knew were weird and rather random but whose cause I couldn't identify. I bought a condo with several bedrooms with this in the back of my mind. Once I confirmed I had DID in 2011, I realized it would have to be somebody who totally got what my challenges were, was comfortable with them and would be supportive.

I have a large number of kids in my system and they're mostly very lonely, some terribly so. I didn’t have an understanding SO or the right kind of friends and I knew it would be extremely difficult for my little guys to play or interact with someone who just accepted them as they are, a child in an adult body. It occurred to me that someone else who had DID might not have any problem doing that. Beyond the littles, none of the alters except me the host gets to be themselves in the world, having someone know they're not me. I looked into doing this with friends but it just didn’t work for various reasons.

NicS joined this board roughly when I did a couple years ago. I read his posts and blog and we exchanged some PMs and emails here and there. I felt a lot of kinship with parts of his system as they described themselves and their experiences. When he mentioned going through a rough time a few months ago, I decided to take a risk and we began to discuss a possible job as my personal assistant, meaning he would have to move across the country, from Idaho to Massachusetts. Over several PMs, both of us negotiating the risk of living without somebody we’d never met (in person), we agreed on the arrangements. I would provide room and board plus a salary, and he would cook, drive, and help me with a whole gob of things I described.

Nic and company moved here over about 3 months ago and the arrangement has exceeded all expectations for me. Aside from the loneliness, one of the most painful things about DID for me/us has been the secrecy, the feeling I/we have to hide things about ourselves through no fault of my own. Once some of our alters moved past the jarring or terrifying experience of being known in the world, of being recognized and called by our own names, of being appreciated just as we are, we got used to this new world and I have to say it feels strangely natural and fun.

We switch whenever it happens and most of us have interacted with someone. The littles have gotten support and guidance from anyone who happens to be older and some of them have had fun just watching cartoons or hanging out. Alters who were hidden have come forward and I think we've had realizations faster than we had before. Basically, the environment in the house is safe and supportive and I'm certainly getting some help in areas I've needed.

I post this with Nic's full knowledge though he hasn't yet read the text. We made this connection through this board so thanks Psych forums.

wow!

That's great! Hopefully others can find support like this too. Thanks for sharing.

Awesome! I remember NicS! What a great thing for both of you!

Wow guys that's really awesome I'm so happy for you all

I'm happy for you guys!

Wonderful

This is amazing

that is so, so awesome!

it can be so helpful to have someone with DID supporting you...my wife has DID as well, and it is very nice to know the other person gets it.

My mum has DID, both of us know each other has it, we live in the same house....but we don't support each other or even talk about it together.....she's half the reason I have DID