Sam Came Out *Trigger*Assault*

Last night, Sam came out. He has been quiet since I was 12, maybe. I had this very sweet memory of love, that he shared with me.

Then the horrible memories started coming.

GRAPHIC *TRIGGER* SEXUAL ASSAULT

I was having flash backs the rest of the night. I remembered how I needed the bath water to be frigid because my genitals were swollen and very sensitive, a little bloody. I can't see who did it. I just remember lying in bed at night, freezing, but hot and sweaty under the cover. I would go cold and dead weight when it happened. I never made a sound. I kept my eyes closed while he put pressure on my throat and forced it.

Sometimes I was too scared to even leave my room just to go to the bathroom. I got in trouble one time because I was so scared to leave, that I peed in the corner of my room like an animal.

I didn't comprehend it at the time. I was only six or seven. I'm pretty upset with this. I wasn't expecting it. But I'm numb, like I'm in shock.

I can relate. This type of memory recovery has come up for me more than a few times. Take it very easy, you need a lot of space and care when you're in shock, that's how it is for me anyway.
Thinking of you.

Thank you and while I'm glad to be understood, I'm sorry that you can relate. No one should experience these things.

*safe hugs if wanted*

spanky_spee wrote:*safe hugs if wanted*

Thanks (((Spanky)))