Quesions regarding DID

I have few questions to people who are having DID.. Some of the questions may come across as rude, but I am in no way meant to be. I am trying to understand what DID is.. I know in theory what DID is, but not how it works.

1. Is alters created or was split from a person's consciousness? Or both? If created, is it correct to say that alters that are created, over time develops their own identity/lives?

2. Most important, and I think the most rude, and what uninformed person most likely ask: how do you know you're not making things up? For those that have no recollection/memories when they switch, I understand. But those who are aware/co-inhibit/co-conscious, how do you know the voice inside your head isn't just you making things up? I mean it could just be you answering your own questions.

3. For some of you, names and ages of alters change. Wouldn't this make you wonder if you're making things up?
4. Do you really hear your alter's voice in your head? If so, do they distinctively different from each other?

5. On one hand, I'm leaning to consider that alters are different personality, but still the same person. Just different attitude. I understand naming (or do they name themselves?) these personalities, but if so it doesn't make sense to view them as separate entities as the first, because even though they're split, they're still coming from the same person. It's confusing.
6. Do you (which I believe called the Host) are aware of the switch? I mean, when you're 'gone', where did you go? Are you still aware of what the alter is doing to the body? The conversation? Is it a total switch or only a switch in personality (attitude)?

I thought I have a lot more questions.. But these are all I can think of at the moment. I would really appreciate it if anyone would be kind to answer these questions. Thanks.

Syne, I am curious why you are asking these questions.

Syne wrote:1. [...] is it correct to say that alters [...] over time develops their own identity/lives?

Yes. Unless they integrate, or get locked up inside.

Syne wrote:2. [...] how do you know the voice inside your head isn't just you making things up?

How do you know anything is or is not a figment of your imagination?

Syne wrote:4. Do you really hear your alter's voice in your head?

Yes. And sometimes they take over enough to talk to other people. Then I feel like I am a puppet. My husband always knows when it is not me talking.

Syne wrote:6. [...] when you're 'gone', where did you go?

When I lose time I don't 'go' anywhere. One minute I am doing my homework [POOF] I am naked in bed with some guy. Oh crap not again.

1. Is alters created or was split from a person's consciousness? Or both? If created, is it correct to say that alters that are created, over time develops their own identity/lives?
>I tended to phrase it as they were "fractured personalities" until I began using some of the terms I found on these forums, implying that they fractured or splintered off from my original consciousness. I know I created/found them to some degree, but it tends to get into the creator/created argument, I.E. "God created man, and man turned around and returned the favor". It's all up to interpretation.

2. Most important, and I think the most rude, and what uninformed person most likely ask: how do you know you're not making things up? For those that have no recollection/memories when they switch, I understand. But those who are aware/co-inhibit/co-conscious, how do you know the voice inside your head isn't just you making things up? I mean it could just be you answering your own questions.
>As Una+ said, I don't know. My best guesses as to why it's not all made up is that the vocal/personality shifts aren't consciously being done and that they've startled me with responses/commentary on things, which means it doesn't seem to be a controlled behavior. Also the fact that some of them will refuse to share memories/thoughts for days if not months at a time. Hraith still refuses to share with the rest of us what happened for all of March this year.

3. For some of you, names and ages of alters change. Wouldn't this make you wonder if you're making things up?
>It's just evolving. Right now one of my alters is having an identity crisis between aggressor and little, and some of my old alters have ceased to exist completely.

4. Do you really hear your alter's voice in your head? If so, do they distinctively different from each other?
>Do they sound/act distinctively different? Most of the time, yes, but sometimes they'll have overlapping thoughts/comments or will have more than one fronting at the same time.

5. On one hand, I'm leaning to consider that alters are different personality, but still the same person. Just different attitude. I understand naming (or do they name themselves?) these personalities, but if so it doesn't make sense to view them as separate entities as the first, because even though they're split, they're still coming from the same person. It's confusing.
>When they still were referred to as fractured personalities, each of them tended to embody/claim a major emotion, because I wouldn't/couldn't handle that emotion to any notable degree on my own. They've all gained more effectiveness and emotional range since then.

6. Do you (which I believe called the Host) are aware of the switch? I mean, when you're 'gone', where did you go? Are you still aware of what the alter is doing to the body? The conversation? Is it a total switch or only a switch in personality (attitude)?
>That depends on the style of switch. Most of the time I am co-conscious with one or two of them playing co-pilot or back-seat driver, but I've had points when they'll forcefully claim front and I just get to watch what they're doing with the body (Darius: He calls that "suiting" because we wear the body like a suit... it doesn't quite fit when Astral gets yoinked from his chair. Sharp + Pointy or the dark ones tend to prefer suiting since they don't share well.) There's even been mental skirmishes over who gets to suit, which is what tends to result in total mental breakdowns. If they suit or do a few other behaviors to force a total shift/disassociation, then I'll only be aware of what it is afterwards, and that's only if they choose to share. Like with the month of March. One of my Ex's actually took advantage of this a few times and would only share certain views or comments with an alter when she didn't want to actually tell me but wanted me to know eventually. In hindsight... quite a bitch thing to do, since that required forced switch/suit, not just a co-pilot...

i will try and answer your questions from my own perspective...for me i too an still trying to figure alot of this out. lots of your questions i have even questioned myself and even still do to this day.

1. i dont think anyone really knows how d.i.d is formed. one person says this another says that. its philosophical in nature. its like asking what came first the chicken or the egg? looking back into my own life i believe its split from consciousness and developes over time. experiences changes us so alters when forward have different experiences from each other. hense the different likes, dislikes, views, thinking processes, memories etc.

2. ive asked myself this a million times. maybe its just all in my head. realistically its a very painful disorder why would someone want to suffer? and when attempted to stop why doesnt it? so many times i have tried to control it usually by ignoring it, denying its existance etc but yet the problems i face still remain. it effects my relationships, myself as a whole on a day to day basis right down to my ability to drive a car. i believe the disorder could be mimicked really just like any other disorder could be but why would someone want to do that? and i dont believe anyone could given a hugh length of time. eventually they would get sick of it and want to be themselves again. pretending to be something you are not can only go so far.

3. the age thing im not really sure. what i think though is they have a set age but some are out more than others hense more life experience and they can appear older than they are and age this way. though realistically these parts are stuck in time, as some might take a step forward when confronted with stressors and what not they can equally step backwards too. names dont really change though? not sure what you mean by this. some might have nicknames or short for their actually name. i think if there is a change of name constantly its assumed its not the same part.

4. the voices i hear sound more like constant chattering in the background i dont often pay attention to it that much. its strange i have often been woken up from my sleep as a result of the talking. and then once i stir long enough to hear whats going on its like hush hush they all get silent. i awake often feeling like i barely rested at all. and at times i get very annoyed by it yet fascinated that this could happen. Other times i hear them more distinctively and what they are trying to say. an example would be a topic of life each would pip up with their own take, thoughts and understandings of it. so it would be many ideas of life, some opposing each other, some with their own unique understanding of it. And yes their thoughts are quite different then my own. I can tell when im thinking compared to anothers thoughts. and they sound different from each other so i can tell when its coming from more than one.

5. im not really sure how to answer this question. i still sometimes have a hard time believing we are all the same person. for instance if an alter does something outside of my control and i get in crap for it it makes me angry. because im prone to say well it wasnt me, and realistically i am right.
and its frustrating i dont feel i can control them anymore than i could control someone outside of myself. and if i could give each of them their own body most could life a normal life on their own. but given i said that...i also realize that regardless wither their actions make sense to me or not its always an attempt to protect one way or another. so i can see how the disorder was developed as a coping mechanism and how its all steming from the same source.

6. for me there is no real host i dont think. it seems to switch every once in a while. and btw im not the host so was just clearing that up. the host is mostly aware but not always. time lose looks like nothing. actually you rarely know you lost time unless someone points it out. like for instance someone says ... yesterday was awesum and your thinking i saw you yesterday? or we did that? or you wake up to tuesday and last you recalled it was sunday. or you were sitting in the bedroom having some time to clear your head and then realize its been three hours you were sitting there for. you dont really go anywhere..time is a funny thing to begin with. every time you look at the sun your seeing an image that happened 7 minutes ago. so when you grasp that you start to grasp how time for a d.i.d can be just as strange.
when the switch happens and the host is aware its like watching someone take control of your body and you cant stop them or control the situation. and that can be stressful for them because the alter might be doing something they dont approve of etc, and nothing can be done about it just watch it for what it is. and for me the switch is way more than just an altered attitude. but there is just fragments here too those parts seem more like just changes in attitude.

Thanks guys/girls for answering my questions.. It really helps. I'm not good with words, but I really appreciate you guys taking your time answering.

Why did I ask? Well, I was bored at work. Then I remembered a period of time in my life where I got irrational over small things, getting angry over nothing. I remembered during those time as I get upset I feel myself as if turning into a different person, so critical of others, different view of things, attitude. I just don't get how did I view things the way I was just before, and after I've calmed down I just can't believe I have thoughts such like when I turned 'bad', lack of a better word.

Most time now I'm like a child, and that 'me' really really HATES the other me that I mentioned. I don't want to ever be like that. I can remember quite vividly how I feel, think, when I turned 'bad' when I act like that child, but not now. Does that even make sense?

I also know there is a part of me that passively and actively deleting/suppressing memories. It never bother me much because I don't want to remember. Which is weird because I don't think anything bad enough ever happen before. But it's getting on my nerve to forget so many things.

I guess it was just curiosity. I can't recall exactly how I end up here. I always like reading stuff like this.

Ugh sorry if I offend anyone. I'm not good with words. Kind of weird since I used to write stuff before.

Your question: Are alters created or was split from a person's consciousness? Or both? If created, is it correct to say that alters that are created, over time develops their own identity/lives?

The first thing to ask yourself is what is in the mind to begin with. Elizabeth Howell uses Putnum's term, which is "discrete behavior states" (DBS). The DBS does not have a sense of identity.

"In infancy, behavior is organized as a set of discrete behavioral states, such as states of sleep and waking, eating, elimination, and so on. These behavior states become linked over time and grouped together in sequences." - Elizabeth Howell

"In essence the substrate for the separation of the little girl on the ceiling and the other little girl whom she watches being raped is already THERE IS THE CHILD's INNER WORLD." - E. Howell

Abuse causes a trauma memory, as first ASD, then as PTSD. This abuse memory is THE personality fragment, or what most of us just call a fragment. This is how it goes for all humans, and using the words split or fractured confuse the subject and makes it seem as if it only occurs in DID. The fragment did not exist before the trauma, and the part that was there already is not less than it was before the trauma, so calling it "split" leads to mass confusion.

"The part of the personality that will take the abuse already exist in the child's inner world."
This quote is from the Howell 2011 book: pages 87-88

What this quote by Elizabeth Howell means is that, if the part that is already present can't handle a trauma, and the memory is unprocessed (through the Hippocampus,) then we get a fragment. Read the first paragraph again, so this is clear. It's not a "split."


All above can happen in all humans.

Getting to DID now.
This is where SOME of the DBS form their own identity. This happens when normal integration does not occur. Normal integration would be the linking of all those behavior states such as sleep,waking, eating, elimination, and so on. See how it only makes sense that DID occurs in those that suffer early and severe childhood abuse. This then becomes what is known as DID. It is not instant as E. Howell describes in her example of the child on the ceiling. I can explain how trauma memory is not processed, if this helps. Seigel is a great read for this stuff!

Also of importance to all this is the attachment system. Dr. Daniel Seigel is the king of this topic, as well as integration.

-- Sat Jul 20, 2013 2:30 pm --

On one hand, I'm leaning to consider that alters are different personality, but still the same person. Just different attitude. I understand naming (or do they name themselves?) these personalities, but if so it doesn't make sense to view them as separate entities as the first, because even though they're split, they're still coming from the same person. It's confusing.


You need a lot of unmuddling! I will answer question 5, since it's like the first, very misleading:


ALL HUMANS HAVE ONE PERSONALITY!!!!! Period! All Humans have the one personality made up of many personality states. See what I wrote to you to answer your first question to see how this works.

Naming can be done anyway. The host can name them, sometimes not being able to understand the alters real name (thus the names don't change, it is just a communication issues.) Most of the time an alter, once it is active has a name of some sort. It might be "Brat", "Idiot" or whatever, but they have a name so they can communicate with each other. An isolated alter who did not interact with those inside or who never came outside would have no need for a name. So naming is not in any set pattern - it's just a label to identify a part that has it's own identity.

-- Sat Jul 20, 2013 2:33 pm --

how do you know you're not making things up? For those that have no recollection/memories when they switch, I understand. But those who are aware/co-inhibit/co-conscious, how do you know the voice inside your head isn't just you making things up? I mean it could just be you answering your own questions.

It's far beyond just hearing a voice in one's head - so far beyond this! What occurs at times is denial. This is a protection by the system to hide what's wrong from the individual. It works well, on and off throughout life.

Do you (which I believe called the Host) are aware of the switch? I mean, when you're 'gone', where did you go? Are you still aware of what the alter is doing to the body? The conversation? Is it a total switch or only a switch in personality (attitude)?


Alters live in an inside world. See Elizabeth Howells quote in the post I made above from question 1. Those in the inside world are aware of some of the others inside, and some are aware of what the alter that is host is doing. It all depends on how intense the dissociative boundaries are. They are not the same in all with DID, and they are not the same year to year in the same person with DID. The idea of therapy is to break down the dissociative barriers and as a separate process to process trauma memories. Doing these 2 things leads finally to integration.

You again have things worded wrong. What you want to ask is that if what an individual with DID experiences is full or partial dissociation. Partial dissociation is experienced by all humans, but those with DID have it too. Only those with DID have full dissociation.

My effort at a DDNOS-specific response. (Not everyone with a DID-like dissociative disorder meets the full criteria for DID.)

Syne wrote:1. Is alters created or was split from a person's consciousness? Or both? If created, is it correct to say that alters that are created, over time develops their own identity/lives?

I thought of them almost as created as placeholders to hold trauma, but its more complicated than that. Once a person creates alters to dissociate trauma, they can also have emotional purposes for that person - though I'm not yet sure that they don't still come with trauma-based origins in those cases.

2. Most important, and I think the most rude, and what uninformed person most likely ask: how do you know you're not making things up? For those that have no recollection/memories when they switch, I understand. But those who are aware/co-inhibit/co-conscious, how do you know the voice inside your head isn't just you making things up? I mean it could just be you answering your own questions.

I guess what you're describing comes under DDNOS. (Co-consciousness without memory gaps and clearly separate lives etc. - where alters attempt to (roughly) live the life of one person.)

The "answering questions" bit can be doubted completely, but if you lose control of your body and go "three feet back" so you are the one who is "co-conscious" not the one in control, its more obvious. Though that can be denied easily if you think its normal, e.g. things like thinking you just have no willpower.

3. For some of you, names and ages of alters change. Wouldn't this make you wonder if you're making things up?

Yes and no. Because dissociative disorders are created by the mind as coping mechanisms, in a way you are making things up, - but more like the way that a person experiencing flashbacks isn't actually "there" again, but their mind will replay the incident or feeling as if they were.

The downside is that you can also make things up, e.g. for denial purposes. At worst I'm highly irresponsible with an over-active imagination - at least my own presentation made it very clear I'm not psychotic.

4. Do you really hear your alter's voice in your head? If so, do they distinctively different from each other?

I've never heard voices in my head. I admit I used to have some stuff bouncing back and forth as I was falling asleep, and also dreams being interrupted by thoughts that I could "hear" in the dream, and then the dream would change. I think I mainly had to rely on trying to "sense" thoughts and feelings because I don't seem to be prone to "hearing stuff" inside my head when I'm awake. I think I'm just not made that way. That didn't stop me losing 10, 20 minutes at times.

5. On one hand, I'm leaning to consider that alters are different personality, but still the same person. Just different attitude. I understand naming (or do they name themselves?) these personalities, but if so it doesn't make sense to view them as separate entities as the first, because even though they're split, they're still coming from the same person. It's confusing.

They choose their own names if names are relevant. Its not exactly the same person with a different attitude so much as "different parts of the same person" if that makes sense. Different parts can hold different memories and emotions as well as having different attitudes, though in a person with "DDNOS" memories may simply be "further away", "fuzzy" or "inaccessible" when a particular alter isn't present.

6. Do you (which I believe called the Host) are aware of the switch? I mean, when you're 'gone', where did you go? Are you still aware of what the alter is doing to the body? The conversation? Is it a total switch or only a switch in personality (attitude)?

For people with dissociative disorders with less separation its usually fuzzy and "three feet back" more than completely gone, though there might be rare occasions when people who don't quite meet the specific DID criteria have dissociated completely, though its likely they'll just end up with memory gaps than "going anywhere".

Switches aren't so much just changes in attitude (e.g. one minute you love biscuits the next you hate them with a vengeance) but also are experienced as changes in awareness and level of awareness, the amount of control a person has over their body, level of consciousness, etc. You might not be fully aware you weren't in control until you realise that you suddenly are, as if you're coming out of a fog and suddenly realise where you are, or are waking up and suddenly realise you were dreaming. or you might be fully aware that you can't move your body or speak when you want to, but be very aware of what is going on around you.

Sometimes people may have had odd experiences like having to ask an alter to do something, or an alter getting tired and lying down to go to sleep, at which point things go "quiet" (you can't feel their presence) and you have control back again.

Thanks to everyone! I find the answers are very helpful. Sorry for such a short reply for such elaborate and helpful answers, I can't thank everyone enough. I have few more questions:

1. This is something I wonder when I was a child: Isn't it normal to hear voices that you can't control?
2. English isn't my native language, what does 'three-foot back' means?
3. Is it possible for someone to act on what they have read, if they've read too much of it?

Syne wrote:Thanks to everyone! I find the answers are very helpful. Sorry for such a short reply for such elaborate and helpful answers, I can't thank everyone enough. I have few more questions:

Hello, I'll happily try to answer to these

Syne wrote:1. This is something I wonder when I was a child: Isn't it normal to hear voices that you can't control?

I guess it's not normal. But the differenciation between the psychotic voices and the "DID voices" is important. When somebody has a psychotic episode and hears voices, he thinks they're real, they come from outside. DID voices come from inside, we know it's not somebody talking to us but somebody inside of us who's talking.
So I guess it's not normal...

Syne wrote:2. English isn't my native language, what does 'three-foot back' means?

Honestly I don't know It's not my native language either.

Syne wrote:3. Is it possible for someone to act on what they have read, if they've read too much of it?

Do you mean consciously or unconsciously?
Consciously of course, you're free (theoretically) to do whatever you want so yes you can act like if you have DID, but not because you have a high knowledge of it but because of you simply want and having knowledge makes you more comfortable.
If it's unconsciously, it's possible too. I bet that would be a somatoform disorder... Conversion? I dunno, but I don't think it would be a factitional disorder because it's unconscious. Probably it would be considered a real disorder, because you wouldn't be aware that you're acting so you would believe you really have DID...

Tom