This question has been confusing me *trigger*

They say forget you past and live in in the present.

I got this advice from a mentally ill woman and everyone else I speak about remembering nothing.

But for DID isn't apart of the therapy to go back and process what you can.

As a host I feel quite attacked and stupid that I want to know the root.
Not trying isn't me. It's conflicting.

I feel the same way. It's a difference between looking back and living there though. I try to deal with my past and regain some memories, but not live in the past and have it be the only thing in my life. I work on my past to be able to fully live in the present. I think this is the healthiest thing for me.

Completely understand what you're saying, i bring up the past in family therapy and consultation psychotherapy sessions and then when I suffer with flashbacks etc my care co ordinator tells me to stop living in the past and that people had a horrible past so why re live it but....that's kind of going to happen and its sort of the point

But before i go off Into an over emotional attack on her I think the point is to try not to let it bog you down, delve into the past when needed and preferably with a professional you trust but have 'breaks' from it and think about the future and continue with each day at other times, if that makes sense

The past is risky territory for people with DID/[C-]PTSD/DDNOS/DESNOS/etc. I do believe that if the past is affecting our present it needs to be dealt with, otherwise there will be impairing/debilitating switches among alters who are stuck in the past, and the partial living of others who suppress the past.. I started trauma work ~3 years ago, and have finally started living my life as a result (I would not be able to do the trauma work without meds and my T).
Triggers below!
ninchen knows it's over! For 15 years she was stuck in the moment of the traumatic experiences; now it's more like it just happened unless she's having a flashback. She is still deeply affected by it, but it is easier to reassure her/talk to her when I can actually be there in the background. We still have work to do. Her bravery in T is making her stronger and braver, and she basically personifies terror and helplessness/powerlessness. She is no longer mute (she speaks to our T; though outside of T she will say things like 'help me' in inappropriate places; she's writing a lot in the littles thread!).

Even last year Sonja denied anything bad ever happening, said that ninchen was having nightmares, that our uncle was good and nice, etc. The traumas didn't happen to her, but now she knows/admits that it happened to us/the body, though she still has only nice things to say about our uncle/his father/etc - she admits that they're pedophiles, but also says that they couldn't help it/didn't mean it/etc/etc .

niva doesn't hurt ninchen like before (SSI, blaming her, etc)

I am hoping that in addressing the theme of 'disgust' that the depressive wont feel that towards herself as much as she does, that the BDD stuff might fade.

When one of us is having flashbacks I can calm them/myself down now. Now we actually know that we will be OK, and that we're safe now, instead of those words being meaningless things I'm 'supposed to say' to myself/them. When somebody starts talking about their uncle I no longer go deaf; I can still see when somebody who looks like him passes by. I can stay grounded, or get grounded more easily when I lose it.

Trauma work is not dwelling on it. It's dealing with it.