Help with understanding complicated system appreciated :)

My SO is DID and they are a rather large system. Within that system there are a couple of things that neither I nor my SO understands, and we're trying to put our heads around it. I'm therefore wondering if anyone on here have any experience with something similar? Any kind of input is appreciated.


Anne is one of the systems most traumatized alters, and we have for a long time known that she is split into two parts, Mary-Anne (10) and Susanne (32). They appear as two different personalities, and they have at least partial amnesia between them, but still they look upon themselves as some sort of unit and seems to be closer than the other alters. They also share the same body on the inside even though not both of them look like the body that is on the inside (which is not the same as the body outside - complicated or what), and can't be in the outer body at the same time. They can't even be present in the inner world at the same time.

There is another girl too, Adrianne (6), that seems to be closer to these other Anne's than to the other alters. She can't be out at the same time as the others either, neither in the outer nor the inner world, and these three "Anne's" talk about a place they share called Anne's Garden which no other alter has ever seen. I'm not sure where that place is, and it might be an (for the other alters) undiscovered part of the common inner world, but to me it sounds more like an inner world of it's own which only the Anne's are able to access. Some sort of inner world in the inner world.

My SO's system also have this other alter, Eva. She's also one of the most traumatized alters in the system, probably the most traumatized. Her age have been sliding between 9 and 17, and she has always (after starting to be more oriented for time and place) told me her age when fronting, just saying "11", "13", "17" etc. She also does the same thing in the systems journal for communication. She signs with "Eva 11 years old" or whatever age she is at the time and sometimes it says things like "Eva 17" though I'm not sure if that means she's 17 years old or what it means.

A few weeks ago I met an Eva which presented herself as 5 years old. She told me she's never met me, and I could swear I've never met her either, but still "it felt like she kind of knew me in a way" as she stated it herself. She also knew about a doll I own, which she was very curious to see and touch. Talking about herself (as Eva) she used "we", "us" etc, and when she asked me if I were their (in plural) girlfriend too (I had already told her I'm in a relationship with some of the grown ups in the system), she excused herself for not knowing with "we don't always remember things between us". She talked like a girl with DID, but she didn't include the rest of the system. Just Eva.

After this we started looking back and remembered several occations where Eva had forgotten about things she had been doing the day before, beeing surprised by her not knowing things we thougt she knew etc. We have also noticed the fact that she always signs the journal or presents herself with the same ages or at least numbers. 9, 11, 13 and 17 (and now 5). Never 10, never 12, never 14, 15 or 16...

We have tried asking Eva both face to face and in the journal around this, but she never answers. Maybe she doesn't wan't to answer, or maybe she can't. Eva 5 years old, on the other hand, has now been writing herself in to the system map and clearly want's to be counted as a seperat person. I'm getting to know her more and more, and are now able to recognize her from the rest of Eva most of the time just by looking at her. On the inside they share the same body.

The other night, Eva 13 years old had terrible flashbacks and got to be out for some comforting, cuddling and attention. A couple of times that night and the following day, Eva with another age (or number) came out and had no flashbacks at all and had no memory of the things I had said/done to comfort her.


In some way or another the three Anne's seem to belong together, and Eva seems to be the name of not only one but several alters. Does anyone know what this could be? I don't know, and my SO doesn't know.

If you have experienced or seen, heard or red about something similar, I would be very happy to hear about it. Any thoughts or ideas are very welcome.

It sounds to me like Eva is one person, a person who has a great capacity for amnesia. That she's been traumatized at various specific ages, but instead of developing a new alter, she just blocked them out, one by one (and each trauma is remembered as a different age).(?)

niva wrote:It sounds to me like Eva is one person, a person who has a great capacity for amnesia. That she's been traumatized at various specific ages, but instead of developing a new alter, she just blocked them out, one by one (and each trauma is remembered as a different age).(?)

Thank you for your answer, Niva. I appreciate your view on this.

Eva is extremely traumatized, but not from a few spesific traumas. All she's ever experienced was trauma untill they finally got away from the abusers. She had never eaten, never spoken to anyone, never seen the sky, never red a book, never slept... She had never done anything normal at all. The traumas was endless and highly recurrent, and I would be surprised if these ages (if ages is what it is) represents traumas in itself. It doesn't seem like one part and then blocked parts of that part to me, as they are all function and have a fluid history - it isn't static and belonging to single memories/traumas.

She references herself as "she" when talking about another age/number and these ages/numbers do not share the same background history. They share the same body on the inside, but they don't share the same history in that body (nor in the physical body) - if that makes sense?

Anyone experienced anything similar to this?

I've been thinking about this, and my previous thought on the matter (same person, with complete amnesia) basically means that they are different alters! Eva is likely a given name - what they called her.

Even with continuous trauma what helps us survive for the first period of abuse (denial or numbing out or complying or fighting, etc, etc) will likely not continue to work for us as the abuse goes on/as more/different perpetrators enter the picture. So perhaps at age X she was suddenly required to pretend she wanted it, or suddenly needed to fight for her survival instead of just disappearing, etc.