Advice needed. Lost job & have no memory.

Hi.
Wednesday I had my first session with a new T. Then I left. I didnt turn up to work thur, fri or the following week. I have no memory of where Ive been, what Ive done. I know Ive lost my job. I came back fri midday ish and rang. Has anyone experienced this? If so, how did you make your alters go to work? My alters have missed things before but never this badly. My T seems lovely. She was careful to explain how she works and ask me what way I like to go about things. Nothing felt 'off'. I did hate my job and it was just meant to be a stop gap while looking for something better. Unemployment is not better, nor is losing 7 days pay while not looking for work. This time its caused me some really serious trouble. When I get another job I really cant afford to have this happen again. Any advice?

I think most importantly would be to develop communication with this part/s and find out why they didn't go to work. Did they know it was on? Did they just not want to go because they hate your job? Was a young part out that had no knowledge or awareness of work?

Once you find out what reason they had for not going it will be easier for you to know how to persuade them to go. It's generally not a good idea to try and "force" the others to go to work but rather to help them to realise the benefits of working as part of a team with all of you inside and how this can help you to accomplish things you all want (like somewhere to live, food to eat, maybe paying for some nice things to do etc, generally pretty persuasive reasons for most parts of you if you communicate it to them).

If the issue was something like them not knowing work was on, then it might be a case of collectively working out how to make sure everyone knows about events they need to attend. For example, to get around this problem, I solely use my phone calendar to write in my commitments. I know if it is not in there that the other parts will not know it is on. This took some getting used to initially and I had to write myself notes all over my house to say to look in my phone to find out what I had to do for the day. Now it's habit for all parts to know to read and record commitments in my phone and I haven't missed anything in a couple of years.

If the issue was something like a child part coming out, it may help to work out some specific time to dedicate to a part like that so that then they can come out at an appropriate time rather than when you are working. I let younger parts out at times I designate for them to have some time and set an alarm on my phone to help me become aware of when I need to be back to do something else.

In terms of you making a start on the fact that you remember nothing about what you did for that time, you may find it helpful to look for clues and then ask inside for specific information. You may be able to find clues from your phone (like who did you call or text during that time), your computer (what does your internet history look like for during that time), and your car odometer or bus/train ticket (did you travel somewhere). Then this can help facilitate communicating with whatever part was out for that time because you can ask a specific question like "where did you take the car during that time?" rather than asking something general like "what happened for that week or so?" which is maybe not specific enough to prompt out any particular part quite as easily.

Thank-you. That is really good advice. Im going through a pretty bad patch with it at the moment. I was doing really well for years and I got used to it. There's been a lot of change recently so slipping bacwards isnt completely surprising, just the way its happening is. I will definitely take up this advice.

For example, to get around this problem, I solely use my phone calendar to write in my commitments. I know if it is not in there that the other parts will not know it is on.

We do the same thing but in a physical book date book as not everyone knows how to use the phone/some are scared of it. It's helped a lot and usually if something important has happened it gets written in there so we know what's happened. This paired with a communications journal has helped a lot in not just getting lost in life.

Good luck