I should stop trying

Rubyscarlet wrote:Aside from the question of how to/whether to talk about alter personalities with friends in general, how about those who also have alter personalities but are unaware or in denial?
I have had strong suspicions about 3, maybe 4 people in my life for some time. About one of them I am absolutely certain, but I can't say anything, I'm not a doctor and I don't have any right to try making people see things they are not ready to look at either. But about talking about my own dissociation and alters around these people? I should be very cautious maybe?
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I suppose one way is to ask them how bad their memory is. If you can find a way to make them realize that they're having memory blanks, maybe it'll motivate them to look into it. Or if you think they're acting really out of character, bring that up the next time they seem like themselves. Just my ideas. It's tricky, though. I've been wondering about a friend of mine too.

Rubyscarlet wrote:Aside from the question of how to/whether to talk about alter personalities with friends in general, how about those who also have alter personalities but are unaware or in denial?

Ah, you too have noticed some other DID systems. Of course. Welcome to the club. It is a big one. You have read my thread so you know that I have this same concern about several people in my life. See our thread Do you have DID-dar? I think I will post more there.

It took us what feels like forever to tell anybody about our D.I.D... the first was my older brother who had to go through a lot of tragedies with me and understood but I'm not too sure if he believed me or not.
-Elliot
Then there was that girl... I was not for the idea of telling somebody else but we try to keep organized by having majority votes whether we tell somebody or not. It was not a mistake because she understood well and said that she had "problems" too which none of us dared to ask her about. Not even Stephen. We are attempting to muster up the courage to tell somebody else that we believe will understand or at least tolerate listening to us.
-Alabaster

There's actually a few people who I want to tell but can't think of how to engage or start that kind of conversation/explanation. Most things with Plan's help we can actually accurately depict or envision as Clayde would probably say what peoples responses would be but there are some people we aren't ready to risk losing if we end up being wrong.
-Stephen

So yep there's everybody's opinion on who wanted to speak. Sharing isn't easy but it's y'alls call.

Thanks for your responses. It's nice to see I'm not alone in any of the concerns I've brought up in this thread
'DID-dar'! That's the right word! I read your thread on that subject, Una+, thanks, that's all very helpful. Yes, I've noticed with one person it's like magnetism - I felt a very intense dislike the first time I saw her, before we even talked and that changed quickly to the opposite and I felt we really related on some level that I didn't with other people but I didn't know what exactly. She said the same. We've had some very difficult interactions but it seems that's the result of switching on both sides. I feel I should go very carefully with her, but I have an idea of her alters and which ones would be best to talk to, if I'm patient. I also have the feeling some of mine have already been talking to her without me knowing. I'm not sure, but I won't hide or go into denial myself and that should help. With another person I have suspicions about it looks like it might be easier.
One is a family member who I've noticed thinking back has shown more obvious signs than I do, but it hasn't been picked up on by the mental health services. No one even mentioned trauma. I've met some very distinct personalities with different names and other signs like 'out of body experiences', losing things easily, very sensitive, changing life plans quite dramatically etc. Can't believe I didn't see it before. I can certainly talk about myself next time we meet though, we talk about everything that's going on anyway.
In any case, after reading the posts here and considering, I think I'd like to slowly become more honest with people in my life. If I have support from the doctors too I feel that would make it easier. We'll see how that goes.
I don't want to hide and pretend, I've had enough of hiding and running away and worrying about other people's opinions. Only worried about triggering other people but I can be careful with that.

I told two friends. I was feeling very strange yesterday and one of them asked what's going on, so I just said 'I have other personalities'. They asked lots of questions, and I just answered honestly. I stopped at one point because it sounded so bizarre what I was saying, and I said 'this all sounds crazy saying it out loud'. But they did not think it sounded crazy at all! They were interested and said it makes sense, and that its really good I'm aware and that it can be treated, and glad that I'm in the process of seeking treatment too. Wow, I'm lucky. That gives me more confidence in being honest.

Rubyscarlet wrote:They were interested and said it makes sense, and that its really good I'm aware and that it can be treated, and glad that I'm in the process of seeking treatment too.

Exactly. That is the most common response I get from friends and acquaintances and others too. You are in really good shape, and are heading for even better! You may be hearing a lot of "Wow, you are amazing! I am so happy to know you."

I get a mixture of responses, but when explaining there is some intrest.

I m glad this was a nice experience to you

It's easy enough for the depressive part to pass off as me feeling depressed, for example, and that's how we get to stay in the closet for the most part. Also, when things are really out of control my face apparently tends to be blank and I don't talk, so nobody knows about how chaotic it is inside.

Some of my parts have only talked to my T (child part [ninchen] and the angry teen part), while others are more social (preteen part), so everybody knows her (again, I can pass off as just being in a cheerful mood - nobody can tell that she doesn't have feelings/is not me).

I have tentatively told a few people. My T was the first, and he took it well/wasn't surprised or anything. He's the only person ninchen has spoken to (I thought she was mute for most of my life) as well as niva (my username is niva, but I [host] am the one who writes, or else Aidan [obsessive thinker part] does). Our T is teaching us all how to trust, though that is a very slow/gradual process, and most of us fear it more than we crave it.

I've told two friends. One sort of gets it, but not really. The other was more interested and seemed to get it (she saw ninchen [terrified, in my bed], and she realized she wasn't me), but I only told her because she was moving away. I told my dad about the preteen part having no feelings, and he was surprised and sad and understanding.

Thanks Una+, that makes me feel hopeful! It's nice to hear some of you have also found people who are accepting. I can't expect everyone to understand or want to know. As I've written before, some people just don't want to. It's just important not to feel lonely, and I don't want to be hiding things from people I'm close to.
Niva, I can relate to what you say about trust. My trust has been betrayed so many times, but I know there are always some people we can trust, it's just a question of finding the right people.