Benefits to Seeking Diagnosis

So the subject of seeking diagnosis has been brought up today, and we were asked a very simple question. Why? It has made us think quite a bit, needless to say.



Why we are seeking diagnosis:

It is easier to be believed when you have a doctors word behind you (applicable to everyone from potential employers, friends and family)

May aid in possible social assistance in the case that working is not possible

Diagnosis makes hospital and doctors visits easier by means of cutting out the need to hide and lie about true and key information

It is confirmation to ourselves against Denial and its cruel words



There are pros and cons to be weighed, and we are aware that the process can be rather triggering and frustrating. In order to start this process, we are required to expose our system to other people on the outside, and this is a cause of a lot of fear and frustration. So we wonder and ask before we take this leap, are there any more benefits to seeking diagnosis and what has being diagnosed done for you and your well-being?

~Birch and Amy

A diagnosis used to mean a lot to me, especially when I was a pre-teen/teenager. I felt like a diagnosis was important because without one people didn't take me seriously, that is to say people would just say it was hormones and it was something other teenagers went through, which I knew it wasn't but people wouldn't give me the time of day.

Right now I'm not sure how I feel. I've been through many different diagnoses and it's kind of made me more confused about myself really. I still feel that DID is possible for me, as does my ex-doc, but at the same time I don't feel that really encapsulates all my experiences.

For me the only benefits of having a diagnosis is it's easier to explain to loved ones. I hate having to talk openly and I kind of feel with a diagnosis I can go "Here, I have "disorder X". You can google it". That way I don't really have to tell them what's going on. They can just look it up. Also it means they will start to take me seriously.
Another pro is when it comes to filling out forms for school/college. Back when I was in college and I went on trips I'd have to specify what "illness or condition" I had. Again if you write down your diagnosis they seem to be more likely to keep an eye on you and make sure you are okay. If I'd have put down that I had issues that weren't diagnosed I get the feeling they would kind of ignore it. Also I'm currently unfit to work, and like you mentioned on your list, having a solid diagnosis made it a lot easier to argue my case.

Cons for me though is I feel like this somehow makes me crazy or unstable in the eyes of others. Like the powers that be could look at my mental health history and condemn me. Potential employers might turn me away. Will it effect my chances of adopting a child? Stuff like that sometimes brings me down.

So really I feel the only benefit is it makes it easier to explain to others what you are going through and I think people take your "condition" more seriously when a professional has stated that you do indeed have it. I think it does bring some clarity to your life as well.

Familyof3 wrote:So the subject of seeking diagnosis has been brought up today, and we were asked a very simple question. Why?

For me, the only reason to get an accurate diagnosis is to then get appropriate treatment. For me, this is a compelling reason. When it comes to DID, accurate diagnosis makes a huge difference in treatment. If DID is present and not diagnosed, any treatment is likely to fail.

Thank you both for your answers. Una+ you made a huge point. I really want accurate treatment and it's really difficult explaining it to someone (my therapist who claims she has worked with other DID patients seemed very skeptical to me and said some rather hurtful/inappropriate things, especially considering it was our first session together) when they look at you like you're just making it up because you've figured out more about yourselves than the doctors/shrinks could.

Our system is very covert at times, because in the past we had to be. We are also very secretive, also because we had to be. We couldn't show our emotions, say our thoughts or be ourselves. Everything was controlled and restricted to the utmost degree. When she told me that I was the same as the Other, and acted like her, I wanted to rage and say DUH! Did she honestly expect me enough to trust her on the first session to lose all my guards and feel comfortable enough transitioning in front of her and giving away sensitive information?! I'm not a polar opposite to her, and I won't claim it, but she judged and tried to shove these labels on us when she knew absolutely nothing.

It would be nice to be able to go in to a comforting atmosphere and be able to have the time to gain trust, and learn that I can open up without feeling like I'm being forced and rushed into it, or worse, making it all up.

It took a lot of courage to tell her, and after not really being received the best, telling other doctors is going to be even more difficult now. We'll push forward because we want diagnosis, for our piece of mind and treatment if nothing else. I just hope that things go a little smoother next time. Maybe it was because of how I told here and know about us ect? My brain won't shut up and stop going in an endless thought loop of guilt despair and anger.

Alex @Familyof3 wrote:my therapist who claims she has worked with other DID patients seemed very skeptical to me and said some rather hurtful/inappropriate things, especially considering it was our first session together

This therapist may have worked with DID before, but might still be unqualified. Ask for details, not personal details about the other patients but details of the treatment and outcome. Ask about her training and experience. For example, as part of their training some therapists have been required to receive hundreds or thousands of hours of therapy themselves; others have none. This varies by training program and regional board licensing requirements. Ask about her supervision: does she have a paid expert or a peer group to help her do her work? Ask what diagnostic methods she uses, what tools and techniques, what styles of therapy. If answers to these questions are vague, that is a bad sign.

Here are some of the therapists I encountered:

A therapist who advertized extensive experience and expertise with DID, who in the very first session with me completely lost his composure.

A therapist who, as far as he knew, had encountered DID in only one person: his alcoholic and out of control ex-wife who was diagnosed by another therapist but refused treatment.

A therapist who knows DID is a real condition but could not believe I have DID because I was "too open" about my symptoms and too high functioning.

A therapist who despite working with many DID patients and participating for years in a DID study group would not discuss fusion, integration, or anything beyond assessment and solving problems of daily living.

A therapist who has extensive training and experience using hypnosis, who stated (correctly) that hypnosis is not recommended for patients with DID.

A therapist who does body therapy (verbal) with substance abusers, who has encountered many alters popping out but has no training or experience doing ongoing work with alters.

My point is all of these therapists have relevant experience and were far more promising than others because they do know something about DID, but their experience varies tremendously. Some of these therapists I could work with, others not.

Alex @Familyof3 wrote:Our system is very covert at times, because in the past we had to be. We are also very secretive, also because we had to be. We couldn't show our emotions, say our thoughts or be ourselves. Everything was controlled and restricted to the utmost degree. When she told me that I was the same as the Other, and acted like her, I wanted to rage and say DUH!

Covertness is completely normal and look-alike alters are common. Was she making a neutral observation that you heard as invalidating? If you decide she is worth another session, you might bring that up and ask.

Una+ wrote:Was she making a neutral observation that you heard as invalidating? If you decide she is worth another session, you might bring that up and ask.

We've been debating this between ourselves yesterday and today. Birch wonders if she said this to try to test our boundaries, or resolve. I wonder if I am honestly just too sensitive. I know I can be sensitive and sometimes expect attack, but others in our system don't share the same views often times when it's a case of me being overly sensitive, where this time her comments and behaviors irritated quite a few of us. Next session we are going to ask her about her comments and what her goals are/treatment successes, and possibly her experience like you have suggested. Got to write all this stuff down so we don't forget.

We keep playing the situation over and over and it's driving me crazy, but I think my silence on how all this made me feel plus communication difficulties probably played into the whole thing. I just wish our head could give us a break until next session instead of pelting us with guilt and shame over even bothering to speak in the first place.

Here's my thoughts on it.. I am sure it's all been said before. But here it is in my words.


Okay. So I sat the SCID-D. And it's still vivid in my mind (mega co-con) so I better get this down now. I went in cold. Having a faint idea of what it might be like, but no details. I looked it up once years and years ago, one of us anyway, but luckily ha. I didn't remember any details. I just knew I had. I don't think it would have gone much different if I had researched the sciddddd, but I guess it helped that my internal rehearsals (ugh) were not so specific, because I might otherwise have been a lot more anxious during it. And I was shaking like a leaf as it was.
Test. Test. Testing.
Talk Talk Talking. Being honest. Finding words. And being honest some more.
It was really knackering. And really, really worth it.

I think it'll make life far easier. Having external validation. And you might think you don't need this, but chances are a part of you does. Who are you to know?
Well, it had gradually dawned on me that I did. Need it badly that is.

I've been obsessing over whether this is what's going on for ages. I'd forget and remember and forget again. All about dissociation. First wholesale, for years at a time, but then. Deja vu. Ah. This explains it. Then I'd forget again.
The past 15 years have been a sewsaw of remembering and forgetting all about dissociation. But internal communication and this forum scared me because I was afraid I was taking advantage. That I was secretly a fraud. The others have been certain for years, so oddly I knew I wasn't lying and yet I didn't dare believe "myself". I couldn't shake the thought that I was stealing people's time. I don't know that a label would cure me of that. It's not about the label for me. I think external validation (the scid will do me i think) allows me to think in ways that scared me when I hadn't quite accepted that this is what's going on for me.
So I guess it's nice that we can finally work on getting back to better communication, which he have had before. But keep losing for stretches. It's odd. Mara the look out. Almost always co-con. Signposts in the sea. Like when we were really little, we'd all need fairly separate lifes, but Core and Mara were almost always there. In the background. Mara ready to step in, Core watching. The devil is in the details. Until I was a teen I thought it was normal to experience yourself in this way. You know. In company. I wasn't scared of listening to them then, because we imagined that was how everybody experienced themselves. I still can't get my head around how that whole singlet thing is meant to work.

So anyway. I say go for it.
And it has taken me a decade and a fecking half to work up the guts to finally scid to the d. Of course that's not the only diagnostic thingy out there. But it's really odd. It certainly managed to spin me out. You just need to be honest. Ha. Just.
I do hide stuff from myself. Remembering to remember. That's another thing I couldn't get my head around. Double ha.

So anyway. I say go for it.
Big thingy though - I did take this thing privately. I did not want to be offically diagnosed. Luckily I found myself in a position to spend a small holiday on some scid-scid-scidding. I was lucky is all, because I could play it safe. I wouldn't otherwise have been ready yet to get diagnosed. It's a fear, mostly irrational. Mostly. But not entirely. Freaking insurance. Nah. So yeah. I got lucky, but in retrospect I'd have to say it would still have been worth it for me if I'd had no other option.

This is probably a jumble but I am gonna post it anyway.
Might come back to edit or something.

Hope you're all having a great day.
I bought myself a freaking toy.
Commemmorative.


Also - I haven't had proper results yet.
I don't think it'll matter now though.
That's only a label, I already have proof of concept.


Oh - but what tipped the scales in the end was that we weres feeding denial in a friend (already diagnosed) who helped us, but Mal in particular, a lot. That really bugged me. So it wasn't all abut me anymore. When you don't think very highly of yourself, it really helps when your motifs aren't exclusively focused inward. LOL


I guess I'll get rid of the disclaimer now.