we told

*trigger warning - mentions injury, memory*

this past month has been nothing but depression and crisis since we came back to our hometown.
yesterday the mother came by twice and terrorized us. the first time she came by triggered a memory of *tw*when she tried to run us over in her truck*tw* and it scared us so bad, felt like it would happen again so we ran, right into a hornets nest by accident. we have *tw* a concussion from a previous incident*tw* and shouldn't have been running but the wasps were mad and chasing us.when we went back to the house, she came back after some time and was banging on our door screaming for us and it just made it so hard to be ok and happy after that. im not safe, not even through locked doors because when she cant hurt us, memories do.

after *tw* the concussion *tw* incident Birch phoned our therapist requesting earlier appointment because we weren't ok and giving up hope and she phoned yesterday. we talked on the phone for a bit and i gathered up the courage to tell her my name, and she stared asking questions and i told her there was more of us in here too. i feel proud i did it, even if my scrambled brain was probably the only reason i could say it, but now we feel so vulnerable and don't know what will happen next. i'm scared.

Hopefully the therapist is a nice lady and likes kids.

~Annie

mabee we can bring helo kity to the therapy and mabee theres toys there too ~tia



Recent events seem to have activated our entire system nearly.

Wanted to say that I can relate about some of the bad things and we told our T too and I'm sorry for all the bad things that happened and I hope your T will treat all of you right. Is very scary. We bring a stuffie to T too and once she saw it and I felt like I got caught hihi. Is funny cause one always puts it in our purse and then we forget that it's there so we open purse and get surprised.

Telling your therapist more was a very wise and brave thing to do so I hope you give yourselves credit for that bold step. As your signature states, together you're much stronger, and I'd suggest, perhaps even stronger than you can see individually.

Thank you. It will be my first time in therapy and I'm kind of scared, but I was brave enough to leave a message on the phone so I will hopefully be brave enough to speak out loud too. ~Jacklyn

It SO good to talk! Well done for havin the courage to speak

Therapy can be very helpful-

Let us know how it goes

Love

Nina11

Therapist phoned for me to come in early today but no one is awake to help What do I do? Can I even take their therapy session and what do I talk about? Are there rules?
Birch is trying to find them but it's been so quiet today, just us two. We were going to watch harry potter together but now we have to go into therapy

Go ahead and go in. There are no real rules for therapy other than showing up, on time hopefully. For our system, everyone has an equal right to talk at any therapy session. We're all part of the same body, we all have the same rights. Sometimes one of us has to handle a specific task, like I handle the job, because we have the most experience at something or are most effective. But therapy is for everybody!

So therapy was a disaster. I don't know if it was just that therapist, or if all therapy goes like this, but here's how it went:

*Alex wakes up and goes to the appointment

*They do a breathing exercise because Alex is nervous about the appointment

*The therapist goes to call Alex by the Other's name despite the fact that Alex told her about herself/some of us

*She tries to get Alex to write a timeline of us, giving all our names which Alex isn't comfortable enough doing yet since it's her first time personally meeting this lady

*T goes on to tell Alex (and Birch and I who are now sitting in listening) that we are not individuals but aspects of the Other, and all the same person

*T goes on to ask Alex/Us to name the incomplete diagram a name of who is/was the body the most, confusing the hell out of all of us. Alex says that the question is not applicable because no one is more the body than any others.

*T goes on to call Alex by the Other's name again, and tell her that we all look exactly like her (no f***ing $#%^ )

*T goes on to tell Alex that she's the same as the Other and she can't tell the difference, Alex gets mildly uspet and says she hasn't had time to get to know her yet so how would she know

*Birch and I try to speak up but are silenced by Alex because she doesn't feel comfortable with transition yet in front of T, and both of us are a little miffed and confused about what all went on

*Alex leaves T's office in worse state than she came in and is now going through denial (identity and defining herself was always a struggle of Alex's, this completely made things worse)

I haven't ever been in therapy but it sounds like your T is striving for you to be integrated. Not sure if that is what you want but that is what it seems like to me.

You may want to talk to the T as you. And say what the T did to Alex to the T.
Hopefully Alex will come out of denial soon.