(*poss tw*) i'm tired ....

i'm tired of not knowing who i am
i'm tired of trying to figure out which tiny fragment i am
i'm tired of analysing
i'm tired of watching
i'm tired of being a box of puzzle pieces
i'm tired of having to be a group of twenty five different tiny fragments just to function
i'm tired of being a different twenty five fragments everyday
i'm tired of having to pull myself together because i never am

i may be a fragment but i think, i feel, i hurt, and all of these i do with the help of other fragments....so what hope is there for us, we are too small, too insignificant and physically incapable of connecting alone, we need to work together to do anything. But who can connect to us?

again i fear we will feel rejected, will anyone relate? I fear not. We are too many, too often because that is what we are and that is not what i see when i read about other DID experiences. it makes me want to cry

- us - all of us - fragments -

blu: and i am just a fragment too i cannot connect to anyone without the help of all the other parts, but why should i be the only one allowed to connect, i cannot even see who or what i am, let alone make an emotional connection without all the other fragments that make up us.

We have lots of fragments, and they are the ones who have the strongest emotions and need the most understanding. We have one who is stuck in just one memory and her only emotions are connected to that memory, and she really needs help. She tried to shout out to our friend earlier this week but another alter wouldn't let her and she had to stay silent.. Maybe we need to connect to her before she can seek understanding from others outside. None of us want to stay silent, and you're right, it's so tiring. But there has to be a way for all of us to find connection and understanding somewhere.

I'm interested in what made you determine you are all fragments? Because you need more than one of you up front to function day to day? That doesn't mean you aren't all alters, full, like you see other people here. Fragments is a hard thing for me to really understand. I don't feel I have any. But I can relate a lot to what you say about a few of you being around at any one time. If that makes sense....

-B

I m not sure what the difference is between fragments and alters, I need to look that one up.

As for bein tired, I can relate to that. It can be very weary to keep everyone functionin together.

Love

Nina11

I am tired of deceiving a cold outside world as well

Hi there -

Sorry you are struggling - I think other ppl can relate though bc all of us did-ers feel fragmented and worn out from trying to function - when I mapped out my system I noticed that my fragments were stickin close to certain alters so they didn't feel so isolated - really hope things get better for you soon - we're here if you need to talk - thinking of you all - xxoo

LittleRedDogToo wrote:I am tired of deceiving a cold outside world as well

we r so very very tired!

we r sorry u feel this way too

I m sendin you sparks of energy and the strenght you need to get through this rough patch.

I hope you can find some rest and peace too.

Love

Nina11

Nina11 wrote:sparks of energy

Thank you Nina sparks greatfully recieved as is your support

blu

we are many today....as always....it is tiring...weird...depressing...annoying....confusing...sad.. ...really wierd....funny at times....but we start to get used to it and on some level feel we must be making progress...sure hope so!

hiya - you guys probably makin more progress than you think - sometimes gets ucky in here before it gets better & i know you all are working hard to bring order and makes sense of it all-
thinkin' of you -

xxoo