About me.trigger warning

by **MultipleMe** » Fri May 17, 2013 3:09 pm

Hello,
My name is Melinda. I am struggeling with a lot of different mental health issues such as DID,Anorexia, Depression, Social Anxiety, General Anxiety and Bipolar (to name a few of the most troublesome) along with an opiate addiction. I guess I decided to write this post today so I could A)Introduce myself and B) Hopefully get some support. You see, I havent had anyone to speak to about in full, the life I live. I've tried various 'trusted' friends but they get scared when I get into the details or if they see me lose touch.... even though they all promised they wouldnt let it happen to them. I'm feeling frusterated confused and lonely... hopefully joining this forum could help me somehow.

Lately Ive been going through a lot of changes, I just moved to Vancouver for one thing, big change from where I lived before. I moved here because Im a drug addict and I had a good feeling there would be more supports for me in Vancouver than Alberta... I was right about that. Theres aspects of my life that are looking up right now... for instances, my addiction is under control and I only do enough opiates to keep my pain away these days. I went from being homeless and high on crystal meth to having a very nice condo (as of June 10th) and just on opiates... I've also landed a part time job which I can build on and I am known on the streets of vancouver (EAST HASTINGS) to a lot of people as a helper an protector of the weak. These things are huge changes for me but with the good comes a lot of bad.
Ive always been aware of my mental health issues... lately though, they have been making my life a lot more difficult than ever before. I suppose the diference here is that I suddenly want to do good for myself so I am not feeding into my own negativity or insanity... IM trying to get better slowly. I guess its not easy to do on my own... the people who I've ended up truting havent been able to take it and eventually ran as fast as they could. I guess when people see me one way and Ichnge into a totally different person they get confused, especially when they are right there beside me as I switch.
Theres really only ever been one man in my life who has been able to understand my madness and still love me, that man is my husband of the last 4 years. He has seen so many things when it comes to my mental illnesses that nothing seems toshock him. But I've come to unertand that nobody else should be that close ever... nobody else could look at me as a good/sane person when they know the reality of every part of me...
SO,
I have 3 'personalities' Lyn (child) Melinda (Positive) Jesse(Self Distructive). I find it easiest to describe the personalities as has been written above... short and easy. No need for embarassing details yet, this is only my first post on the site.
I slip between Lyn's thumb sucking crying and temper tantrums, Jesse's suicidal behavior anger issues and complete lack of reguard for our life along with the rudeness and attitude problem, to Melinda's positive happy and helpful attitude unwillingly or knowingly.
I do not need the help of drugs in order to switch (common misconception among my 'friends;) although they have been the culptiate more than a few times.
I also struggle along with my personality issues (As I Like TO Say) with anorexia and Social Anxiety.
Needless to say I struggle to find a rustworthy friend who isnt scared... and who wont back down if I lose touch... my husband even has a hard time staying when I go off the wall.
I believe Ive shared enough right now... more is to come, I just wanted to introuce myself to the forum and hopefully begin to meet some people....
ANY questions are welcome.... Nice To Be Here!!
~Melinda~

About me.trigger warning